A few things you don't know about me.

[FlyinNover 0]

Okay, I've been lurking here for a while. Now it's time for a little introduction.


I realized that you don't know very much about me. Here are a few secrets:
I was born at a very young age on the banks of the Mighty Mississippi, back when it was called the Sorta Big Mississippi. Then I was raised by a pack of Minnesota Timberwolves high in the Beverly Hills. I learned to walk at one month, to drive at four months, but after a year I still had problems with fractions.
I am 27 years old, but only -2.8 in Celsius. It is possible for me to have my cake and eat it too. I can sing in three languages, but only in minor keys.
Glue has no effect on me. My car has twelve speeds, but my bicycle is automatic. I solve calculus problems in my spare time and my toes have been the subject of three PBS documentaries. The grass is greener on both sides of me. I don't have a fence.
I have often been in the same place at two times. Psychics call me for advice, and I only occur once in a blue moon. I make gin in my bathtub, whiskey in my pants, and there’s rum in my stockings.
Three fingers on my right hand are said to be above average. The other three are still growing. Near me, nice guys always finish first. I am able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, and I can counterfeit the new fifties.
I am Tiger Woods.
I play hide-and-seek. . . . . . .professionally. I never have to shave. I was once fired from Apple for thinking different, and the Pope is my bridge partner.
I am smarter than the average bear. When I’m around, all numbers are prime. I never sit down. I sleep on one leg. I have never colored outside the lines, and I can distinguish eighteen shades of brown. I am not intended for viewers under the age of eighteen.
I can see my house from here.
A camera adds only seven pounds to me, but a painting adds fifteen. I travel alone in the carpool lane, but only on two wheels. I once gave it my all, but I stopped before it took everything I had. I prefer Proctor over Gamble, but I’m friends with both Simon and Schuster. I'm not on speaking terms with Johnson or Johnson. I am the walrus.
Salads toss themselves at my command, and red lights stop for me. The candyman can't, but I can. I have no absolute value. I am caffeine free.
Plaids and stripes match when I wear them, I am always on sale, and I am why the sky is blue. At the end of every rainbow, you'll find my award winning french toast recipe. I am my own worst enemy.
Three of my grandparents wrote half of Shakespeare's plays while discovering the exact value of pumpkin pi. I have no crosses to bear, but I have three bones to pick. My axe is well-ground.
I can get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie pop in less than seven licks. When I make quiche flambe, I do it right. My right turn signal blinks uncontrollably.
So does my right eye.
In fourteen hundred and ninety-two, Columbus used me as a reference on a job application. Bread must get my permission before rising. If I say so, six of one equals three fourths of a dozen of the other. My flesh is stain resistant. I remove Kansas from all my maps. (This one was true for a while after my cross-country road trip.) I rob from the rich and keep for myself.
Sheep must count me to get to sleep. My middle name starts with every letter in the word "dorito." I study the paths of low-earth satellites, but I am not exactly a rocket scientist. I can count to twelve in my head, but only in metric. The Idaho Coast Guard has a bench warrant for my arrest. My packages absolutely, positively have to be there the next day.
I have never missed a jumpshot. I make lifelike sculptures using nothing but hanging chad and band-aids. And finally, I cannot be reproduced without the express, written consent of Major League Baseball.


(I never lie.)
---Nover

[SkiD_PL8 0]

Wow, you put alot of effort into that. The things we do out of sheer boredom lol. I bet you have an office job =P

Greenie in training.

[FlyinNover 0]

Quote

Wow, you put alot of effort into that. The things we do out of sheer boredom lol. I bet you have an office job =P

Actually I don't, but when I wrote that I did! It's a few years old.....hence the hanging chad and Apple commercial references.

That's what happens when your boss says, "I need you to write a creative description of yourself. Have fun with it."

She should have been more clear.


---Nover

[D22369 0]

DAAAAM

that is quite creative ! nice job, made me grin;

Roy

They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

[thermosnight 0]

Hey FlyinNova,

Can you put me in touch with your supplier? I didn't think my life was dull until I read this!

Dave.

My favourite saying is under construction...

[plummeteer 0]

Have we met? I remember someone that fits your description, sorta, of course this was back in the early 70's, and my memory hasn't been too sharp since then. You should be an interesting poster, so I think you should stay out on the boards now. I will continue to be a lurker, for the most part, I don't have much of anything nearly so coherent to say. Welcome to the forums!
Plummeteer

Edo
Concumbui
Aethrae Cernuare

[FlyinNover 0]

Quote

Have we met? I remember someone that fits your description, sorta, of course this was back in the early 70's, and my memory hasn't been too sharp since then.

That's not me you're thinking of......I wasn't around in the early 70s, since I really *am* -2.8 years old in Celsius. (I'm 27.)

Thanks for the welcome!

---Michael

[Kris 0]

Excellent remake! Welcome to the boards.


College Entrance Essay
----------------------

This is an actual essay written by a college applicant to NYU in response to this question:

3A. IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:

ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.
Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.
I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.

I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.

(The author was accepted and is now attending NYU)

Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and
Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™

[FlyinNover 0]

Quote

Excellent remake! Welcome to the boards.

College Entrance Essay
----------------------

This is an actual essay written by a college applicant to NYU in response to this question:

Thanks! I haven't seen that since I was applying for college. It is where I got the idea, but you konw, that made everythign up!


---Nover

[txw0082 0]

If you can transcribe your words into flying, you will be a helluva flyer!

********************************
May the only blue in your life be the sky you are in!