skymama 37 #26 August 22, 2011 Quote if I'm happier and more confident for him to back off some and let me get more pro advice.. When it comes to skydiving, you are his equal even though you are a newbie. Ten jumps or ten thousand jumps, you are still a skydiver who is in charge of making your own decisions and saving your own ass. Stand up for yourself and tell him that you are jumping with coaches until you get your A license, period.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sgahlman 0 #27 August 23, 2011 I fully understand. I am at my 16th jump, having worked through the tandem progression, and I still get wigged out when the door flies open for a hop n pop, and we travel up for the next 6,000 feet. I don't have the additional stress of having my husband in the sky. I am trusting that one of these days it will pass, but until then, I am totally open to suggestions from experienced skydivers. Keep us posted as to how your progression goes!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #28 August 23, 2011 Dear O.P. when entering into a new and especially an Exciting, "adventure" sport... it is always best to work with those who have been Trained, critiqued, approved and Certified !!! to teach others... If your S.O. doesn't yet meet these criteria he should gracefully step aside.....and YOU should insist on it... I have seen this scenario many a time... where an "experienced" jumper, Usually a guy, tries to "introduce " his GF or Wife, into the sport...But THEN overwhelms her, by disecting EVERY little thing concentrating on "fixing things" and failing to point out all the positives.... ( of which there can be many,, even on jumps that don't always go 100% perfect ) Sometimes the guy takes on the role of "mentor" whether He is capable or Not.. It often doesn't work out well for anyone... and can even lead to "off the Dz " issues, tension and disharmony..no... it would be better for souleil to stick with Rated instructors, who would have less of a Personal Take, on things... Once you're settled and comfortable, there will be plenty of time for "sharing the air"..with your guy.... Providing that your freefall profiles,, size weight shape etc. ARE compatible... Talk to your instructors. but more importantly to your man,, ONLY do it gently... in case his ego might be fragile... good luck skydive safely jt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
souleil 0 #29 August 27, 2011 I must say that I LOVE this forum, you have all been so thoughtful and provided so much support....I do talk to the LO's and arranged my 19th jump..yes I did it...so that there were at least 2 coaches on the dive. My husband flew camera and didn't really attain the same fall rate so didn't dock. When I arched hard to to fly at his fall rate he de-arched and was above me. He wanted to exit by pulling me out into a dive next time, and I flat out refused..we definitely argued about how I trusted others before him, and I reassured him that I don't distrust him but that I'm scared to do things his way and need to baby step, that he's fearless and I'm not, and to please allow me to progress at my own pace..We'll see how it goes next weekend, but for my 19th jump, I liked having my other friends in the sky. My fear definitely showed in my exit, did not present strongly and the wind took me a bit. I did get stable in about 5 seconds, and then had fun and landed well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #30 August 28, 2011 I couldn't have asked for a more perinent demonstration of why and how his interference is affecting your progression. Quote...the LO's and arranged my 19th jump..yes I did it...so that there were at least 2 coaches on the dive. My husband flew camera and didn't really attain the same fall rate so didn't dock. Flying camera, "500" jumps and can't maintain level. QuoteWhen I arched hard to to fly at his fall rate Forgot about the other people on your jump and focused on flying with him? Quote...he de-arched and was above me. Meh, maybe that's where he should have been the entire freefall. QuoteHe wanted to exit by pulling me out into a dive next time, Still trying to interfere? Quoteand I flat out refused.. Good for you! You're learning how to take charge of you own well-being! If you are doing this to please him, you're doing it for all the wrong reasons. Quote...we definitely argued about how I trusted others before him, and I reassured him that I don't distrust him Yep. A definite indicator of ego problems. In skydiving, ego problems are just that....problems. Believe me, you're better off not getting involved with that in the sky. Quote...and to please allow me to progress at my own pace.. I'm questioning why you even have to ask. This is not something that needs permission from anyone....least of all from someone who you claim is "supportive". This doesn't show "supportive" in my world...how about yours? QuoteI liked having my other friends in the sky. Well, how about focusing on them and the dive? Maybe you've heard "Plan the dive, Dive the Plan?" Something tells me that your previously mentioned dive flow didn't include "chase the video guy." Had this thread been a poll, you would probably gotten a lot of votes for "dump the bozo."My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
obelixtim 150 #31 August 28, 2011 QuoteI couldn't have asked for a more perinent demonstration of why and how his interference is affecting your progression. Quote...the LO's and arranged my 19th jump..yes I did it...so that there were at least 2 coaches on the dive. My husband flew camera and didn't really attain the same fall rate so didn't dock. Flying camera, "500" jumps and can't maintain level. QuoteWhen I arched hard to to fly at his fall rate Forgot about the other people on your jump and focused on flying with him? Quote...he de-arched and was above me. Meh, maybe that's where he should have been the entire freefall. QuoteHe wanted to exit by pulling me out into a dive next time, Still trying to interfere? Quoteand I flat out refused.. Good for you! You're learning how to take charge of you own well-being! If you are doing this to please him, you're doing it for all the wrong reasons. Quote...we definitely argued about how I trusted others before him, and I reassured him that I don't distrust him Yep. A definite indicator of ego problems. In skydiving, ego problems are just that....problems. Believe me, you're better off not getting involved with that in the sky. Quote...and to please allow me to progress at my own pace.. I'm questioning why you even have to ask. This is not something that needs permission from anyone....least of all from someone who you claim is "supportive". This doesn't show "supportive" in my world...how about yours? QuoteI liked having my other friends in the sky. Well, how about focusing on them and the dive? Maybe you've heard "Plan the dive, Dive the Plan?" Something tells me that your previously mentioned dive flow didn't include "chase the video guy." Had this thread been a poll, you would probably gotten a lot of votes for "dump the bozo." Harsh, but fair.......My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #32 August 29, 2011 Quote Harsh, but fair....... Yeah, I know.I'm finding that the longer I'm in the sport, it gets harder and harder to be tolerant. I'm tending to let things bother me more than it should. Not good, I know. My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
obelixtim 150 #33 August 29, 2011 I think after a few years you get all "idioted out". Its relentless, and often its the same stupidity over and over again. It gets boring... But sometimes you have to be blunt or they never get the point.....My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #34 August 29, 2011 F I F Y sometimes you have to be sharp !!! too,,, or they never get the Point !! and popsjumper has demonstrated , to me,, and to others in a number of ways, that he IS sharp... "do NOT dismiss lightly, the comments of those with some well spent time in this sport, and a grey hair .. or TWO !!!"... their words have usually have substance. jmy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
obelixtim 150 #35 August 30, 2011 Quote"do NOT dismiss lightly, the comments of those with some well spent time in this sport, and a grey hair .. or TWO !!!"... their words have usually have substance. jmy Amen, Halleluia, Allahu Akbar.... Right on the button, bro...... "Those who fail to learn the lessons of history are destined to repeat them". Or something like that. I'd pay attention if I thought it might help me save my sorry arse......My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
souleil 0 #36 September 3, 2011 Not sure if tomorrow or next week will bring jump#20 and then if it goes well, maybe jumps 20-25. I can't even tell you all how much I appreciate the support, and the spine I'm growing is finding it's way into more aspects of the relationship than just the sky too. It's not the easiest road, and there isn't always peace in my new stronger world, but I am getting a little more hard a$$ed and less sheeplike (I'm embarrassed it has been this way, but I'll own my part of the responsibility). Makes getting in the sky challenging because there's always an argument about who or what or how I exit and jump, but I'm getting firmer and have more strength behind my words. I will post next after the jump. Thanks again!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
obelixtim 150 #37 September 3, 2011 Good one. The who, how and what you do on the jump, is up to your instructor at this stage, and you should refer to them for any questions or advice for as many more jumps as you like. Its your jump. You own every part of it. Make the decisions on that basis, and you can't go wrong, either way. You'll find your boyfriend will calm down a bit once he realises you are sticking to your guns. Go for it!.My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #38 September 5, 2011 I certainly wish you well in your quest...on all fronts. Above all, HAVE FUN! Hey! If ya ain't smilin', ya ain't doin' it right!My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
souleil 0 #39 October 6, 2011 Jump 20 was actually fun, I jumped with my mentor since I was 5 weeks out and needed to do a coached dive anyway (YAY!) I downsized to a 190, which is still enormous for me. I fudged the exit, I was so nervous at the door that instead out in arch, I just got my ok and jumped..Pretty funny when my jm got in front of me we had a little laugh. I played a little tag with her and stayed at her fall rate, did some turns and docked a couple of times before tracking and pulling. Good soft landing and I started to feel the brakes and did better controlling the final approach and hovering a bit before the landing. But liking it better as I achieve more control. AND...the Mr. was totally supportive and easy going. nice comfortable change, makes me want to do it again! I'll be the only person I've met that never failed a jump and achieved A in the 25 required jumps, all I have to do now is pack, hop n pop, and a barrel roll. Everything else is signed off, oh yeah, and have to stand a landing (scared to since the acquisition of metal in my ankle, lol) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
obelixtim 150 #40 October 6, 2011 Wondered where you had got to..... Sounds good, keep going at it. And don't sweat the standup landing, it'll just happen when things are right. Don't try to force it, otherwise you are risking another injury. You are always going to land, landing safely is the first priority. Keep it up....My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
souleil 0 #41 October 6, 2011 I'll quit boring everyone with my every little move forward ..after I get my A. This journaling has been a profound experience for me, and the support from experienced jumpers as well as those in the learning curve with me has been really great. I appreciate all the comments :) Oh, and I stand, but I'm usually so surprised that I'm up, that I fall over and just sit, lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
