Feeling discouraged

[bzyg7 0]

Needing a little pep talk. I absolutely love this sport and wish I could do more jumps each year. I am a mother and worked full time. It has made it very challenging to devote as much time to the sport as I would like given my schedule.
Here is my issue, I feel like I just don't fit in and I am not welcomed at my home dz. Each time I go out I am so excited to see everyone and want to learn as much as I can. when I get there I feel like I am avoided other than the quick hello. Each time I ask questions I kind of get the brush off and questions are left un-answered or I get treated like I'm stupid for asking certain questions. Yes people are nice and if engaged they are polite but that is about it. This has made it very difficult to get the training and support needed.
I looked into the SIS info and even attended an event at our local dz but I never got a SIS. I was just another body in the crowd. I have been told so many times that people will do a jump with me and when I do seek out these people there is always an excuse why the jump doesn't take place. I have been waiting for one promise for the past 5yrs to take place. Every year I get the same promise and the same outcome.
I have been told I was going to be initiated in the Pink Mafia for the past 4 years and yet it has never happened as I watch others get included.
I know all this is small and not important but It has just made me feel like I'm not good enough, safe enough or trust worthy enough. How do you learn if no one will ever take the time to listen and support you? I have found this sport is one part jumping, two parts fitting in. I just want people to be honest with me and stop making empty promises. I have gotten to the point that I just don't ask anymore and try to find my answers on my own.
I was so proud of myself for having the best season yet this last year. I have made it a personal goal to increase my avg. jumps to double of what I have done in the past. I guess I took another blow recently when the group of ladies I jumped with last season stared making plans again for this season and I was left out. I asked direct questions to them and no one again answered. Feeling discouraged and looking for advice.
Thanks for reading all my complaining and if anything opening people to the notion to be more supportive and take notice of those that love the sport and just want to get better at it.

[Trafficdiver 8]

Have your tried another DZ? Is there more to the story (did you fuck one of those girls husbands? Do you have really bad BO? Has anyone ever called you a psycho hose beast? )

I only ask the second part because 5 years is a somewhat long time to be in the sport and DZ's breed drama sometimes. Also at 5 years and 150 jumps you should know most of the basics, so if you are asking questions like "Hey what's that called (and point to the RSL)" then you might need to reconsider....but I don't know what questions you're asking cause you being very vague.

[skymama 37]

Welcome to the forums!

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[bzyg7 0]

I barley have time to sleep with my own husband let alone there husband, so to answer that, is HELL NO lol! Dont we all have bad BO after a long day of jumping lol! Lastly we are skydivers right? I think there is a little psycho in all of us;)
But in complete seriousness the basics is not a problem. When the questions come up they usually are around rigging questions, conversations about specifics regarding freestyle or FF moves.
In all honestly I just get so frustrated of not knowing how to approach these people. I have thrown my self in every possible way of helping events ect.. to get more involved and find a way to connect.
Don't get me wrong there are a few people that are engaging and we seem to enjoy each others company (mostly newer jumpers).
I guess I don't even know the right questions to ask, more frustration than anything. Is this just a right of passage until I get more jumps and I am worthy of there time?

[megamalfunction 1]

You'll find people that you like to jump with.

[Trafficdiver 8]

Honestly FF is super difficult and dangerous if you cork out. I have some people on my dropzone that I'm not comfortable freeflying with because they won't put enough time or effort into becoming safe.

If it's a FF heavy DZ you may want to invest some time it the tunnel to work on the basics. If you don't, because of finances or lack of time, you need to respect the fact that some people will not want to Freefly with you.

Honestly at your numbers you dont seem like you could be a current, safe freeflyer.

As for rigging I have no idea and I hate packing so there.

[sammielu 3]

30ish jumps (that's 30 minutes free fall max) a year doesn't make for fast progression at anything. I see a possibility for people who have been jumping for the same amount of years to have much more time in the air.

Solution: jump with coaches and get feedback. And jump with the newbies, the super happy enthusiastic jumpers who will appreciate you putting together a dive, having it be successful, and each person coming away with s smile and skills to improve on. If you don't have the right group of people for you, make your own out of the newer jumpers.

[bzyg7 0]

I couldn't agree with you more about many of your points You are also correct in saying my numbers basically suck. I had not put a lot into the sport in the beginning until the last couple of years. Even still I have a long way to go.

The issue I am finding is there are some who have heart felt conversations and build me up only to shoot me down in the end. These are the people that have "claimed" to be there for me from the beginning. It just amazes me how there are so many cliques at the drop zone.

I guess the bottom line is that there is really nothing people can do for me, its what I need to do for myself before things start to change. I just hope that people understand we are not kids anymore and we can handle the truth vs sugar coating it. Don't make a promise you don't intend following through with.

For now I will continue to improve my numbers each year, get more tunnel in, jump with a new circle and do a lot of reading or research to get the answers needed.

I just needed to vent and hope maybe people would grow up and remember the only dumb question is the one that was never asked;)

[sammielu 3]

Well your message is coming through clearly on here... :)

PS. I'll jump with you. I'm all about making (and keeping) more skydivers. Cliques don't help anyone, but there is immaturity everywhere. Hit me up if you come to Snohomish (I'm there every day) or the Eloy Holiday Boogie.

[BIGUN 1,307]

I'll be more blunt. It's nothing more than your annual 30 jump "commitment" to the sport. You're the one that shows up on occasion, jumps infrequently, much less regularly. If you're not going to commit to 100 jumps per annum and spend as much additional time at the DZ; you'll always be that occasional "Recreational jumper" and not a committed "skydiver."

Quite frankly, if you're not willing to commit the time and jumps necessary to improve; don't expect them to do a happy dance cause you showed up.

Having said that, it's OK to be that person and enjoy yourself and the feeling that jumping gives you. But, to expect more than that is unrealistic.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[bzyg7 0]

I appreciate you being straight forward. I agree with you I shouldn't expect more. I just expect honestly. Here's to a new year with at least 100+ jumps;)

[tred 0]

do you jump at a big dz or small? what state or dz?

[bzyg7 0]

I really don't think it would benefit anyone to name names or places. There will always be that person or clique and I just need to get over it;)

[tred 0]

I agree, not necessarily names but a small dz and large dz can have very different vibes and different types of advice may be given for each. I have jumped at large and small and find it a bit easier to "break through" at the smaller one

ETA: and I clearly have to real skills to offer yet

[skymama 37]

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If you're not going to commit to 100 jumps per annum and spend as much additional time at the DZ; you'll always be that occasional "Recreational jumper" and not a committed "skydiver."

How did you even come up with that number? It seems pretty random to me. A person who "only" did 80 jumps last year isn't committed to the sport?

It's not just time that stops people from jumping a lot. A hundred jumps a year is a huge financial commitment that not everyone can make. Just because someone is not as rich as others or willing to go into debt just to be able to skydive, it doesn't mean they are less committed to the sport.

Can't we all just jump and have fun without judging each other this way?

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[normiss 798]

That was my thinking as well!

I know PLENTY of jumpers that have been in the sport twice as long as I have (12 years for me) that have say 1200-1500 jumps, yet I see them on BIG ways all the time.
They seem to very competent jumpers to me!

Don't get discouraged!
Plenty of the cool kids will jump with you!

[wmw999 2,444]

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It just amazes me how there are so many cliques at the drop zone.

OMG Cliques at the DZ??? Who'd'a thunk it? DZs can be as bad as high schools.

If people look at you and don't really recognize you (because you're not at the DZ that much), then you might be in that area where they know you well enough to know you've been there awhile, but they don't see anyone jumping with you -- that can be a huge warning to people who aren't that invested in helping newbies out. And if you're only there a few times a year, then that's not going to change all that much.

If there's a formal organizer at your DZ, approach them at the beginning of the day when you're there (and show up early). If there isn't, still show up early, and ask at manifest who's there who will jump with someone at your level.

Sometimes when you get there later (what with house, family, etc, it's the natural thing), people are already set into their little groups, and having someone else show up can make it harder to work in.

Either way, seeing if you can get a SIS person, and getting her home number so that you can sometimes make sure you're at the DZ on the same day, can really help; then you'll be a more known quantity.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[megamalfunction 1]

Don't listen to the skygods on here that talk shit about jump numbers. There are a lot of jumpers with narcissistic personality disorder that love to talk down to people. The United States Parachute Association says that you need to make a jump every 90 days to be current. So you can tell anyone that tells you otherwise to go suck a @#$%.

[megamalfunction 1]

And one more thing about jump numbers: The USPA thinks you have enough experience to become a skydiving coach. So maybe that's something you might want to consider pursuing.

[sammielu 3]

IMO currency is more important than numbers. Your body has to learn, and remember, how to fly and how to fly with other people.

My comment about the 30 jumps/30 minutes of freefal was meant as an analogy. If you only drove a car 30 minutes a year, how comfortable would you be? How comfortable would others be around you? That's all I'm saying.

[BIGUN 1,307]

First, I'll apologize about the word "Commitment" and change it to "Consistency." You know that I have a rep and passion for the students and low-timers. SCR/S L/O for I don't know how many Skyfests and at WFFC - mostly out of my own pocket.

I'll ask that you re-read what she wrote and what I wrote. If someone can't afford to make a jump. Come out to the DZ and do creeper drills. Build that muscle memory for a specific dive. You know the group she's talking about and we know it exists at each DZ. Become part of that culture looking for success. "If" she wants to be a part of that group; then it's going to require more jump frequency and consistency (or tunnel time) to be part of that group.

We all know that you cannot approach those that have the 100+ jump consistency and funnel a dedicated dive and not make everyone cranky for spending their dollars on the expected outcome of that dive for it not to happen. Do that on a consistent basis and one will slowly be moved to the side. You've heard of someone getting "sat out" for having a bad day or even "cut" completely from a bigway.

Realistically, if she's at a ten month a year operation; she "could" be making 3 jumps on a Saturday - not come out for another month and to what progress for that group? She needs consistency and they're looking for consistency.

There is NOTHING wrong nor did I imply there's anything wrong with being a fun jumper and having fun jumping. But, that's not the group she's talking about. One's expectations must be realistic... not only in this sport, but any sport.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[BIGUN 1,307]

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The United States Parachute Association says that you need to make a jump every 90 days to be current. So you can tell anyone that tells you otherwise to go suck a @#$%.

That is the MINIMUM standard to jump self-supervised. It does not mean that you can go out every 90 days, be on an 8 way and fluently turn ten points. (You may be able to - but the group is going to decide if you can).

Let's leave the PA's out of this. Feel free to disagree, but constructively.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[skymama 37]

Your post reminds me why I started freeflying, there's so much less stress!

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[BIGUN 1,307]

skymama

Your post reminds me why I started freeflying, there's so much less stress!

Lotsa people tried to help me and I could get a decent sit and some head down, but was not fluent enough at it to try to be around four others. Such a beautiful art form and I just sucked at it. Very discouraging. I was a good base for the hybrids, but that was about it.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[faulknerwn 38]

I think doing more RW and less freefly would help too. Freefly is harder and more dangerous when you are inexperienced, especially if you are uncurrent. It would be easier to find people with low jump numbers to jump with on your belly as well.