Feeling discouraged

[BIGUN 1,297]

True. I remember when FF'ing first became the cool, new. People would get their A license and run over to the freeflyers. Freeflyers would kick them back to us and tell them to learn RW first before they'd teach them how FF.

Now, Crew dogs... so, you're gonna need two knives and...

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[skymama 37]

Quote

Lotsa people tried to help me and I could get a decent sit and some head down, but was not fluent enough at it to try to be around four others. Such a beautiful art form and I just sucked at it. Very discouraging. Wink I was a good base for the hybrids, but that was about it.Unsure

I love freeflying, and I actually have fun with 4 way RW when it's for shits and grins. I did a wingsuit jump, and just thought it was fine. Big ways? Way too scary! And, I'd have to quit if I had to do Crew. Just goes to show there is something for everyone. I hope the OP finds an Organizer at her dz who can help her find her niche.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[sammielu 3]

Crew is so inclusive though!!! No crew unless you have more than 1 person so they will bring up crew pups, give briefing and coaching and loan out equipment. Plus you have to have good landing skills to land a lightning ;)

[BIGUN 1,297]

Quote

>>>>I hope the OP finds an Organizer at her dz who can help her find her niche.

There's something for everyone. I hope so too.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[shorehambeach 9]

Bzyg7

I think there's been some great advice here.

Here's a little trick.

When your feeling discouraged about how some people treat you
remember that:

You jump out of planes. To your kids you are their hero. You were their hero anyway, but the fact that you skydive makes you AWESOME

[skymama 37]

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Crew is so inclusive though!!! No crew unless you have more than 1 person so they will bring up crew pups, give briefing and coaching and loan out equipment. Plus you have to have good landing skills to land a lightning ;)

I was in a canopy wrap once and that scared the shit out of me. I'm not enough of a badass to do Crew, I'm just a scardy cat. I know my limits!

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[ouch 0]

Maybe I'm reading too much between the lines, but is it possible that you have worn out your welcome with people who once tried to help?

There are many people in this sport who are willing to give their time, their advice, a ride to the DZ, a 'come and jump with us' invitation etc etc etc. They spend money and they expend energy. They do it because they want to see up and coming jumpers thrive. Most skydivers genuinely want to help the real go-getters who are loving every new adventure in the sky.

But there are also some people who are exhausting in how much of the above they take from the generous people, without showing serious commitment - or any progress at all - in return.

One skydiver has spent the last three years telling me what he is going to do, and asking for my advice/help. Yet he isn't really showing me that he really wants to do it. I am getting tired of the same conversation, with no real outcome. Especially when I am trapped in my own car giving him a ride - AGAIN - without him so much as buying me a drink or offering gas money. I now make excuses to avoid having him on jumps. He thinks he is entitled to the same quality skydives as other people with the same jump numbers, even if they are much more current and capable.

It's easier to just avoid him and leave him to his own devices. Mine are drained.

This might not be you. But, if it is, you'd be much better off just getting on with things rather than worrying about what other people are doing or saying. If you choose that path, you'll be a much easier person to hang out with, and the help will start coming again.

[shorehambeach 9]

ouch

Maybe I'm reading too much between the lines, but is it possible that you have worn out your welcome with people who once tried to help?



This might not be you.

Yes you are reading too much into it.

No it's not her.

[dthames 0]

When it comes to the way others treat me, I have noticed that it is easy for me to get my expectations a bit too high. If I lower my expectations a bit, others seem to do better.

Instructor quote, “What's weird is that you're older than my dad!”

[pchapman 279]

It can be tough to fit in if one isn't one of the regulars, and every DZ has different skill sets around.

In one place, most RW may be casual and it is easy to fit in. But at another place, everyone has a bunch of tunnel and are really serious about their RW.

One has to look for what kind of jumps at the DZ one is qualified for, and who is doing them. There's often a minimum level of competence needed for a certain type of jump with enough safety that others will consider inviting you along. One also wants to appear competent in general. If you know your gear, don't get confused over exit order, can fly the approved patterns, land without falling over, etc., that can all alleviate concerns about 'jumping with her!'.

The freefly may be out (at least beyond 2 way sitsflys, depending on your experience). The hard core RW may be out. Maybe you're at the stage where pickup 2 or 4 way belly jumps are what's mainly needed. So who at the DZ is doing them?

Adding to the difficulty is not being a regular. The regulars at your level will be regulars because they are jumping all the time, so by next season you might not be keeping up with what they want to do and you'll lose them as jump buddies. So it is almost like every year you'd have to keep an eye on who the new newbies are, especially the ones who aren't always out at the DZ.

Solo jumps can be used to play with some skills but lack of feedback is a problem in the long run.

Some reflection on why others aren't enthusiastic with jumping with you is on order.

Socializing isn't supposed to be such work but sometimes one just doesn't naturally fit in as well, so one has to pick and choose more carefully where to put one's effort.

I'm describing awkward reality more than offering solutions but it could still help.

[yvanpec 1]

how did those jumps span over the years ?

150 in 5 so lets say 30 a year ever year. did you do 10 in a week end for 3 random week ends ? did you do 1 jump a week every two week for a year ?

If you do 10 in a week end every now and then, there is a good chance that people wont even remember who you are.

maybe try to spread your jumps more regularly ? just trying to figure i out here.

Better be on the ground wishing you were up there than being up there wishing you were on the ground.

[wmw999 2,439]

Skymama, can you distill or edit this thread and make it a clicky?

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[skymama 37]

I edited it. What would you like to be clicky?

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[AirCharmer 0]

Hi bzyg7,
Sorry to hear.
I have a teeny tiny barely on the radar number of jumps, and my only goal right now is to drag my bruised body back onto the plane, hug and thank everyone profusely for saving my newbie ass, then drive home in one piece
So I'm not at the finding friends at the DZ stage, yet. That said, I thought this might help you: I've been to three DZ's. I didn't plan on that happening..one was a tandem only DZ, one turned out to be too far away..so on.
In hindsight I am so glad I spent time at 3 different places right off the bat. It really showed me how vastly different they all are! Different people, different vibe. Now I can't wait to visit other DZ's, just for fun.
Visit other DZ's if at all possible so you can get a fresh perspective and meet some new friendly faces. Best wishes

[GAjumper84 0]

I am in a similar situation with jump numbers. To give you a little background, I am the sole provider in a family of four, so my money and time are budgeted. I am a year and a half in, and 81 jumps. I go every other weekend ( or 3rd) on average and do two jumps. I did that so I could save up money to buy gear. I just got my rig put together two weeks ago (YAY!) and now I can jump twice as much. Now to my advice from what my experiences have been:

1) If you haven't already, try to get your own gear, even if it is mostly older stuff. Paying for rentals every jump costs a lot of money and limits your jumps. I have a 1997 Talon T6 container, Tempo 170 1998 reserve, 2006 Sabre2 190, and a brand new Vigil 2 (only because I couldn't find a used one). It is a one time investment to help bring the cost of jumps down.

2) As a person that doesn't jump much, the social aspect goes a long way towards making the jumping more fun. When I do go out, I stay for the beer afterwords, and have bought plenty. That is the time that things slow down and everyone just hangs out and gets to know each other. I went to a boogie last year at my DZ and spent three days there. I only jumped one day because of money, but got to hang out with everyone.

3) As people who have more money and time to devote to the sport have surpassed my jump numbers and skill, I have had to let them go jump with people with similar skill levels. One person that I started with has almost 500 jumps now. He mainly freeflys and wingsuits. I'm not going to be the guy begging him to go on a RW 3 way jump when that isn't even what he is interested in anymore. We hang out all the time on the ground, but very rarely get on a sunset tracking dive together. What I have done to keep people jumping with me is to jump with people that have similar jump numbers. They may be less current like myself, or be newer jumpers. But we are close in experience level and so it works out. Like others have said, if you get on jumps that are way above your skill level and at best mess up the dive, at worst become a safety risk, no one will want to jump with you.

4) Lastly, I would suggest you go to one of your original instructers if none of this helps and ask why no one wants to jump with you. Because if none of the other helps, I would have to lean towards people considering you a safety hazard for some reason. There is one guy at my DZ that no one wants to jump with for that reason. He is downright scary in the sky and has been grounded for stupid stuff he has done. I am not saying you are a safety risk, but if you can't work it out to where people will jump with you then asking directly may be the best way to find out what is going on.

Hopefully this helps you get the results that you want. If not there are hopefully other DZs around that you can switch to and hit the reset button on the social aspect of the sport. Good luck!

[kaiser 19]

Hello,bzyg7
"When once you have tasted flight,you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward,for there you have been,and there you will always long to...return...

ps; don't forget to pull the ripcord

blue skies

[gregpso 1]

sounds like the experience I had at Skydive Nagambie Australia.. ay Don

ieEach time I ask questions I kind of get the brush off and questions are left un-answered or I get treated like I'm stupid for asking certain questions. Yes people are nice and if engaged they are polite but that is about it. This has made it very difficult to get the training and support needed.

I tend to be a bit different. enjoyed my time in the sport or is it an industry these days ??

[Trafficdiver 8]

gregpso

sounds like the experience I had at Skydive Nagambie Australia.. ay Don

ieEach time I ask questions I kind of get the brush off and questions are left un-answered or I get treated like I'm stupid for asking certain questions. Yes people are nice and if engaged they are polite but that is about it. This has made it very difficult to get the training and support needed.

See Greg, when I asked her in an earlier post if she was a psycho hose beast, you were the person I had in mind.