BillyVance's "You Can't Make This Up" News Stories Thread

[BillyVance 34]

There. Keep all your submissions here.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ryoder 1,590]

Wildest one I've seen lately is this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3043933/Daughter-16-mother-threw-drunken-party-played-naked-Twister-jumps-defense-Twitter.html

Read the whole story.
If you haven't read "10-inch", you haven't read far enough.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[gowlerk 2,193]

ryoder

Wildest one I've seen lately is this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3043933/Daughter-16-mother-threw-drunken-party-played-naked-Twister-jumps-defense-Twitter.html

Read the whole story.
If you haven't read "10-inch", you haven't read far enough.

I'm not sure about "can't make this up" status. I think this is pretty much a standard porn plot come to real life. It's been made up many times!

Always remember the brave children who died defending your right to bear arms. Freedom is not free.

[gowlerk 2,193]

And then there is this. I don't know, someone thought it up.

http://money.cnn.com/2016/06/15/technology/pornhub-visually-impaired/index.html?iid=ob_article_footer

Apparently the purveyors of porn felt they were missing a small but vital market segment.

Always remember the brave children who died defending your right to bear arms. Freedom is not free.

[david3 0]

BillyVance

There. Keep all your submissions here.

Why here?

[gowlerk 2,193]

david3

***There. Keep all your submissions here.

Why here?

'Cuz Billy said so, that's why. Shut up and get in the van.

Always remember the brave children who died defending your right to bear arms. Freedom is not free.

[headoverheels 333]

gowlerk

Apparently the purveyors of porn felt they were missing a small but vital market segment.

Next comes smell-o-vision.

[oldwomanc6 52]

And the start of another epic thread.

Glad to be of service the muse.

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[normiss 801]

No guns allowed I bet.

[Amazon 7]

gowlerk

And then there is this. I don't know, someone thought it up.

http://money.cnn.com/2016/06/15/technology/pornhub-visually-impaired/index.html?iid=ob_article_footer

Apparently the purveyors of porn felt they were missing a small but vital market segment.

Well at least it is not a new version of BDSM little people porn... small blessings I guess

[ryoder 1,590]

How's this?
US Fish & Wildlife Service to use drones to distribute M&Ms to ferrets?


https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2016/jul/12/us-government-black-footed-ferret-mandm-vaccines

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[BillyVance 34]

Somehow, I had a feeling you would post the first submission.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Phil1111 1,149]

ryoder

Wildest one I've seen lately is this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3043933/Daughter-16-mother-threw-drunken-party-played-naked-Twister-jumps-defense-Twitter.html

Read the whole story.
If you haven't read "10-inch", you haven't read far enough.

Come on... Politicians want to license gun owners but not five time parents like her. Giver her credit she was prepared to go the whole 10 inches for the team, so to speak.

In Canada cops save lives:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RFZVgZAVLk

[turtlespeed 220]

Pray and Drive

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-praying-while-driving-crash-20160712-story.html

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[ryoder 1,590]

turtlespeed

Pray and Drive

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-praying-while-driving-crash-20160712-story.html

More proof that a certain portion of the population is just too fuggin' stupid to be allowed to operate any mechanical device that can harm others.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[normiss 801]

Unless it's mentioned in an amendment.

[ryoder 1,590]

Fark: "When fleeing from cops, the trick is usually to make it harder for them to catch you. Usually":
http://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/news/2016/jul/12/pursuit-suspect-climbs-vista-jail/

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,590]

normiss

Unless it's mentioned in an amendment.

Yes, I was thinking of that when I posted, but didn't want to put Billy's thread into SC.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[BillyVance 34]

ryoder

Fark: "When fleeing from cops, the trick is usually to make it harder for them to catch you. Usually":
http://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/news/2016/jul/12/pursuit-suspect-climbs-vista-jail/

As Arsenio Hall used to say in his original night show about dumb criminals... "YOOOOOOOOU IDIOT!!!"

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ryoder 1,590]

Don't you hate it when the homeless decide to live in your car and make a big mess of it? Oddest part of this story is that he apparently opened the door, and then closed the door on himself, and in the story there is a link to a similar instance several years ago!

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/07/13/colorado-deputies-free-bear-that-apparently-locked-itself-inside-car.html

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[headoverheels 333]

turtlespeed

Pray and Drive

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-praying-while-driving-crash-20160712-story.html

Not the only time that it has happened. At least in your post, nobody was injured.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3174813/Woman-says-injured-grandmother-crash-PRAYING.html

[akarunway 1]

ryoder

***Pray and Drive

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-praying-while-driving-crash-20160712-story.html

More proof that a certain portion of the population is just too fuggin' stupid to be allowed to operate any mechanical device that can harm others. http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/pokemon-go-car-crash-362895 And the dumbass admits it. Wonder if the ins. will pay.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[Chiquita 14]

Don't piss your wife off when she is within arms reach of certain delicate areas

Wife kills husband by crushing his testicles

"Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity"

[Chiquita 14]

And apparently refusing to help clean, especially on certain days, is not advisable either

Wife rips husband's testicles off for refusing to help clean on International Women's Day

"Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity"

[BillyVance 34]

akarunway

******Pray and Drive

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-praying-while-driving-crash-20160712-story.html

More proof that a certain portion of the population is just too fuggin' stupid to be allowed to operate any mechanical device that can harm others. http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/pokemon-go-car-crash-362895 And the dumbass admits it. Wonder if the ins. will pay.

Obviously, Darwin missed this one.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban