BillyVance's "You Can't Make This Up" News Stories Thread

[Chiquita 14]

Not sure why that link didn't work, but here's a new one

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3484447/Romanian-wife-rips-husband-s-testicles-International-Women-s-Day-refused-housework.html

"Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity"

[BillyVance 34]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/07/14/connecticut-teen-strippers-arson-charge-hinged-on-potato-as-evidence-police-say/

Busted by a potato in the tailpipe.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[jono 0]

Chiquita

Not sure why that link didn't work, but here's a new one

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3484447/Romanian-wife-rips-husband-s-testicles-International-Women-s-Day-refused-housework.html

"I thought maybe that some ice would solve the problem, but he insisted on calling an ambulance. He was pretty annoyed."


^^That right there has to be the understatement of the year!!

Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.

[BillyVance 34]

More stupid fucking idiots playing that Pokemon Go crap...

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/two-fall-from-cliff-reportedly-playing-pokemon-go/ar-BBuluWz?li=BBnbfcL

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ryoder 1,590]

BillyVance

More stupid fucking idiots playing that Pokemon Go crap...

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/two-fall-from-cliff-reportedly-playing-pokemon-go/ar-BBuluWz?li=BBnbfcL

Maybe Pokemon Go will help Darwin remove some idiots from the gene pool.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[BillyVance 34]

ryoder

***More stupid fucking idiots playing that Pokemon Go crap...

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/two-fall-from-cliff-reportedly-playing-pokemon-go/ar-BBuluWz?li=BBnbfcL

Maybe Pokemon Go will help Darwin remove some idiots from the gene pool.

I like the way you think.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[akarunway 1]

ryoder

***More stupid fucking idiots playing that Pokemon Go crap...

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/two-fall-from-cliff-reportedly-playing-pokemon-go/ar-BBuluWz?li=BBnbfcL

Maybe Pokemon Go will help Darwin remove some idiots from the gene pool. +1 The pic says it all.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[ryoder 1,590]

This certainly qualifies: http://www.stltoday.com/news/national/deputy-fires-in-a-billion-shot-into-suspect-s-gun/article_1667ad9d-1e67-559d-a21d-681ca1df6763.html

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Niki1 1]

turtlespeed

Pray and Drive

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-praying-while-driving-crash-20160712-story.html

The paramedics tried the laying on of hands and asking god to drive out the bad driving demon but I don't think it worked.

Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done.
Louis D Brandeis

Where are we going and why are we in this basket?

[ryoder 1,590]

Posted by Riddler on FB: https://denver.craigslist.org/pet/5686285823.html

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[BillyVance 34]

What. The. Fuck.

http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2016/07/man_used_stolen_human_brain_to.html#incart_river_home

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ryoder 1,590]

If at first you don't succeed...

http://billingsgazette.com/news/state-and-regional/wyoming/treasure-hunter-prompts-third-wyoming-search-and-rescue-operation-in/article_a0c3d866-cb69-5b1b-98cb-a58e02976fe2.html

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,590]

Fark: "WWJD? Probably not this"

http://www.pjstar.com/news/20160719/canton-minister-charged-with-burglary-of-another-church

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[theonlyski 8]

Colorado town warns of THC in water supply

http://www.fox13news.com/news/178306059-story


Maybe someone should make Kim some tea from the water.

"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

[ryoder 1,590]

theonlyski

Colorado town warns of THC in water supply

http://www.fox13news.com/news/178306059-story

Maybe someone should make Kim some tea from the water.

I saw that last night.
It baffles me why someone would put something that costs a lot of money into a public water system. It also makes me wonder what prompted them to test the water for THC. How many water systems are tested for that???

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[theonlyski 8]

ryoder

I saw that last night.
It baffles me why someone would put something that costs a lot of money into a public water system. It also makes me wonder what prompted them to test the water for THC. How many water systems are tested for that???

Well, I'd imagine that the water system testing requires them to test for all kinds of drugs (legal and illegal) in the public water supply. It's gotta be a LOT of THC to get to the point that they're worried about the entire system. Someones grow is having a bad time.

"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

[ryoder 1,590]

Here is the list of contaminants that are tested: https://www.epa.gov/ground-water-and-drinking-water/table-regulated-drinking-water-contaminants

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[theonlyski 8]

Do you know if they're using wastewater to create drinking water? If so, then I would imagine it's possible for the THC to be found in the urine of people who smoke it, then pass thru the treatment facility and back into the potable water supply.

I dunno. I try to keep my distance from our waste water sites, but I do know that at least in our area, we're not allowed to use the treated waste water for anything but lawn irrigation and the rest runs back into the bay.

"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

[ryoder 1,590]

"Graywater" can be used for certain purposes in CO.
This bill passed several years ago: http://collegian.com/2013/05/gov-hickenlooper-signs-graywater-bill-into-colorado-law/33306/

But it does not include used toilet water.

My city uses graywater for irrigating grass, (no not that kind).

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[BillyVance 34]

theonlyski

Do you know if they're using wastewater to create drinking water? If so, then I would imagine it's possible for the THC to be found in the urine of people who smoke it, then pass thru the treatment facility and back into the potable water supply.

I dunno. I try to keep my distance from our waste water sites, but I do know that at least in our area, we're not allowed to use the treated waste water for anything but lawn irrigation and the rest runs back into the bay.

I do know Florida has two distinct water systems. Like you said, treated waste water can only be used for lawn care and such, and not for drinking or bath use.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[wolfriverjoe 1,523]

theonlyski

...If so, then I would imagine it's possible for the THC to be found in the urine of people who smoke it, then pass thru the treatment facility and back into the potable water supply...

No. The amount in someone's urine is very small. Detectable, but that's about it.

I'm going to guess that "waste products" (water leaves and stalks/stems) were disposed of somewhere, and they ended up contaminating the water supply.

And, kinda like the urine, the amount that is detectable vs the amount that will get you high is vastly different.

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[ryoder 1,590]

theonlyski

Colorado town warns of THC in water supply

http://www.fox13news.com/news/178306059-story


Maybe someone should make Kim some tea from the water.

Disproven.
As I suspected: They used one of those "roadside drug tests".
They may as well have used a divining rod.

http://www.timescall.com/top-stories/ci_30161155/hugo-water-safe-drink-after-conclusive-tests-show

Recent article about the inaccuracy of those tests: https://www.propublica.org/article/common-roadside-drug-test-routinely-produces-false-positives

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,590]

Weekend at Bernies...but on the road: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/jul/24/widow-takes-dead-husband-on-road-trip-in-alaska

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,590]

A suspect who allegedly used a loudspeaker to advertise drugs for sale was just one of the arrests to come out of the multiday Gathering of the Juggalos music event.

Four people were charged Monday with offenses, including Malik H. Ahmad, 38, and his girlfriend, Jessica Reyes, 20, both of Wisconsin. Both were arrested Friday after an undercover Licking County Sheriff's Office deputy observed Ahmad "speaking on a loud speaker advertising cocaine for sale," according to court records.

Source: http://www.newarkadvocate.com/story/news/crime/2016/07/25/4-face-charges-after-juggalo-concert/87526114/

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[BillyVance 34]

Good god... you have to be goat fuck stupid to do that... LMFAO

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban