BillyVance's "You Can't Make This Up" News Stories Thread

[BillyVance 34]

Death Wish Coffee recalled due to Botulism concerns

http://m.wbrc.com/myfoxal/db_330638/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=YNVos8zT

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[wolfriverjoe 1,523]

Iago

The 'Stranger Things' bar is a fantastic fan idea and Netflix couldn't buy that type of loyalty.

And from the letter, it's pretty apparent that Netflix is well aware of that.

They didn't say "shut it down, shut it down now!"

And they said "get in touch with us if you want to do it again."

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[BillyVance 34]

That's some shitty cash!

http://m.wbrc.com/myfoxal/db_383166/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=sJIzdA6S

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[wolfriverjoe 1,523]

Lots of interesting things wash up on a beach.

Some are More Interesting than others.

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[gowlerk 2,190]

Well.....maybe you could make this up. But only in a cartoon.

http://time.com/4969301/frying-pan-beating-death-murder/?xid=homepage

Always remember the brave children who died defending your right to bear arms. Freedom is not free.

[ryoder 1,590]

gowlerk

Well.....maybe you could make this up. But only in a cartoon.

http://time.com/4969301/frying-pan-beating-death-murder/?xid=homepage

In the old "Boston Legal" TV show, there were a couple murders-by-skillet.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,590]

When I said "No smoking", I meant "No smoking"!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDI-SSOAk68

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Malta_Dog 0]

Awesome!

All your dropzone are belong to us!!!!111!

[Rick 67]

You can't be drunk all day if you don't start early!

[mrubin 0]

http://www.voicenews.com/news/asteroid-to-come-within-feet-of-earth-s-surface-next/article_10e4f0ff-430a-5d24-a662-ad823ed53605.html

Just a reminder to always check your units.

"I fly because it releases my mind from the tyranny of petty things." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

[oldwomanc6 52]

mrubin

http://www.voicenews.com/news/asteroid-to-come-within-feet-of-earth-s-surface-next/article_10e4f0ff-430a-5d24-a662-ad823ed53605.html

Just a reminder to always check your units.

So, can we skydive from it or not? I'll bring the oxygen.

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[BillyVance 34]

oldwomanc6

***http://www.voicenews.com/news/asteroid-to-come-within-feet-of-earth-s-surface-next/article_10e4f0ff-430a-5d24-a662-ad823ed53605.html

Just a reminder to always check your units.

So, can we skydive from it or not? I'll bring the oxygen.




It would be kind of interesting trying to get on an asteroid going 50,000 miles an hour, flaming hot and fixing to explode in the atmosphere. And it's only slightly bigger than the one that hit Russia a few years ago.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[BillyVance 34]

"Tuna and cheese cracker vomits leads to man's arrest in botched home burglary"

That just might be the headline of the year.

http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2017/10/tuna_and_cheese_cracker_vomit.html#comments?li_source=base&li_medium=default-widget

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[akarunway 1]

Guy got busted same way awhile back. From the shot he took in the toilet

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[ryoder 1,590]

http://abcnews.go.com/Weird/wireStory/pumpkin-spice-air-freshener-prompts-evacuation-school-50329199

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[chuckakers 425]

gowlerk

******There. Keep all your submissions here.

Why here?

'Cuz Billy said so, that's why. Shut up and get in the van.

Never get in the van until you see the candy. That's what mama always said.

Chuck Akers
D-10855
Houston, TX

[gowlerk 2,190]

Don't mess with Newfie moose.

http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/moose-hunting-hunter-attacked-newfoundland-labrador-1.4346689

Always remember the brave children who died defending your right to bear arms. Freedom is not free.

[BillyVance 34]

gowlerk

Don't mess with Newfie moose.

http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/moose-hunting-hunter-attacked-newfoundland-labrador-1.4346689

His mistake was not shooting the moose again to make sure it was dead. He won't make that mistake again.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[DJL 235]

BillyVance

***Don't mess with Newfie moose.

http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/moose-hunting-hunter-attacked-newfoundland-labrador-1.4346689

His mistake was not shooting the moose again to make sure it was dead. He won't make that mistake again.

Check out the linked article on the bottom of the page. Canada as Fuck.

"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

[keithbar 1]

BillyVance

***Don't mess with Newfie moose.

http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/moose-hunting-hunter-attacked-newfoundland-labrador-1.4346689

His mistake was not shooting the moose again to make sure it was dead. He won't make that mistake again.. I always go with the " touch the eyeball test". You poke them in the eyeball with the gun barrel . If they don't blink or twitch they are down for good . If the blink time for a finishing shot

i have on occasion been accused of pulling low . My response. Naw I wasn't low I'm just such a big guy I look closer than I really am .

[ryoder 1,590]

The parents ventured into the Crazy Corn Maze in West Jordan, Utah with their child on Monday night and did not realized the kid was missing until the next morning, according to KUTV

http://nypost.com/2017/10/10/parents-forget-toddler-in-corn-maze/

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[riggerrob 643]

BillyVance

***Don't mess with Newfie moose.

http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/moose-hunting-hunter-attacked-newfoundland-labrador-1.4346689

His mistake was not shooting the moose again to make sure it was dead. He won't make that mistake again.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah Moose!
Get some revenge!

The hunter's girlfriend is a DNB.

Riddle: why do moose kill so many motorists in Atlantic Canada?

[swovelin 11]

RiggerRob asks "Riddle: why do moose kill so many motorists in Atlantic Canada?"

Answer is easy! In US, when motorist hits a deer, the deer dies and the car is damaged. But when US tourist in Newfie hits HUGE moose, the motorist dies and the moose is merely injured. The moral is: If driving, don't hit Moose. (And if shooting Moose, be damn sure Moose is dead!)

[BillyVance 34]

swovelin

RiggerRob asks "Riddle: why do moose kill so many motorists in Atlantic Canada?"

Answer is easy! In US, when motorist hits a deer, the deer dies and the car is damaged. But when US tourist in Newfie hits HUGE moose, the motorist dies and the moose is merely injured. The moral is: If driving, don't hit Moose. (And if shooting Moose, be damn sure Moose is dead!)

Moose are pretty damned big animals with a huge rack. You hit one hard enough, that rack is coming through the windshield.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ryoder 1,590]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4978398/FDA-make-smaller-condoms-men-s-smaller-penises.html

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.