BillyVance's "You Can't Make This Up" News Stories Thread

[ryoder 1,590]

So you got your hands on some fake movie money;
Now where do you try to spend it?

http://www.themorningsun.com/general-news/20180216/caught-man-pays-isabella-court-bill-with-fake-cash

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Bob_Church 7]

ryoder

So you got your hands on some fake movie money;
Now where do you try to spend it?

http://www.themorningsun.com/general-news/20180216/caught-man-pays-isabella-court-bill-with-fake-cash

But was he dumb enough to think he could get away with it, or dumb enough to accept it as real from someone?

[Bob_Church 7]

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/comedy-sketch-china-variety-show-features-woman-blackface-article-1.3824737

Has to be seen to be believed. And be sure to read the last few lines of the article.

[Bob_Church 7]

It would take a stun gun and a roll of duct tape to get me on a cruise ship.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/carnival-legend-cruise-liner-brawl-australia/

[BigMark 1]

That can be arranged Bob.

[ryoder 1,590]

Bob_Church

It would take a stun gun and a roll of duct tape to get me on a cruise ship.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/carnival-legend-cruise-liner-brawl-australia/

The first rule of Carnival Fight Club is: You don't talk about Carnival Fight Club.
The behaviour of the Carnival staff is mind-boggling.
If I ever considered taking a cruise with them, the thought is long gone now.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Bob_Church 7]

ryoder

***It would take a stun gun and a roll of duct tape to get me on a cruise ship.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/carnival-legend-cruise-liner-brawl-australia/

The first rule of Carnival Fight Club is: You don't talk about Carnival Fight Club.
The behaviour of the Carnival staff is mind-boggling.
If I ever considered taking a cruise with them, the thought is long gone now.

If they'd spent half as much time doing something about the problem instead of trying to keep anyone from videoing it....
From the things we keep seeing in the news over the last few years I suspect they've dropped the prices to the point that pretty much anyone can go on one, like the way the airline passengers are bus riders in the sky. Only now you're not stuck with them for a couple of hours flight, it's ten days and nights. Cut rate nightmares.

[BillyVance 34]

All right, which one of you was it???

http://www.foxnews.com/travel/2018/02/18/fight-over-mans-flatulence-forces-flight-to-make-emergency-landing.amp.html?__twitter_impression=true

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ryoder 1,590]

Russian Olympic athlete busted for doping.
Guess which sport.
Go ahead, guess.

https://www.vox.com/2018/2/19/17027858/russia-olympics-doping-curling

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[BillyVance 34]

ryoder

Russian Olympic athlete busted for doping.
Guess which sport.
Go ahead, guess.

https://www.vox.com/2018/2/19/17027858/russia-olympics-doping-curling

Should have never let the athletes get around the IOC ban to begin with. But that's a topic for SC.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[BillyVance 34]

Well... apparently funeral stripping is a thing in China...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/02/20/china-wages-war-funeral-strippers/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

Final lap dance for the honoree? He's already hard.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[BillyVance 34]

https://deadseriousness.com/guy-arrested-for-having-sex-with-picnic-table-art-price/

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[GogglesnTeeth 6]

BillyVance

Well... apparently funeral stripping is a thing in China...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/02/20/china-wages-war-funeral-strippers/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

Final lap dance for the honoree? He's already hard.

Or bored Stiff!!!!

Goggles and Teeth

"You fall like a greased safe!!!"

[ryoder 1,590]

Russian bobsled pilot who wore ‘I don’t do doping’ shirt fails doping test

Take the link at the top to evade the paywall: https://www.google.com/search?q=site%3Awashingtonpost.com+Russian+bobsled+pilot+who+wore+%E2%80%98I+don%E2%80%99t+do+doping%E2%80%99+shirt+fails+doping+test&oq=site%3Awashingtonpost.com+Russian+bobsled+pilot+who+wore+%E2%80%98I+don%E2%80%99t+do+doping%E2%80%99+shirt+fails+doping+test&aqs=chrome..69i57j69i58.10516j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,590]

https://boingboing.net/2018/02/26/boy-gets-trapped-in-elevator-a.html

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Bob_Church 7]

Catch that bus

http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2018/02/federal_court_security_cameras_1.html#incart_2box

[BillyVance 34]

Bob_Church

Catch that bus

http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2018/02/federal_court_security_cameras_1.html#incart_2box

Clicky

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[mrubin 0]

http://www.foxnews.com/travel/2018/03/05/passenger-stripped-naked-watched-porn-and-attacked-airline-crew-during-flight.html

Which one of you was it?

"I fly because it releases my mind from the tyranny of petty things." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

[BillyVance 34]

https://www.indystar.com/story/news/crime/2018/02/16/impd-menards-shoplifter-escapes-feces-attack/344426002/

Strangely, not in Florida.

Credit to our esteemed colleague WaltAppel (who else?) for finding this.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Bob_Church 7]

"Hundreds of doctors have walked off the job in Kenya, demanding systemic changes at a hospital where the wrong patient was recently subjected to brain surgery. It has been more than a week since a registrar -- a specialist doctor in training -- cut open the skull of the patient, who was only meant to have a non-invasive procedure, but the outrage over the mistake is still mounting."

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/kenya-kenyatta-national-hospital-wrong-patient-brain-surgery-doctors-on-strike/

(which format/program do you use for shortened URLs here?)

[ryoder 1,590]

Bob_Church

"Hundreds of doctors have walked off the job in Kenya, demanding systemic changes at a hospital where the wrong patient was recently subjected to brain surgery. It has been more than a week since a registrar -- a specialist doctor in training -- cut open the skull of the patient, who was only meant to have a non-invasive procedure, but the outrage over the mistake is still mounting."

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/kenya-kenyatta-national-hospital-wrong-patient-brain-surgery-doctors-on-strike/

(which format/program do you use for shortened URLs here?)

Rather than worry about shortening them, just make them active:
1. Highlight the entire URL
2. Click on the "url" button below the text box.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Bob_Church 7]

ryoder

***"Hundreds of doctors have walked off the job in Kenya, demanding systemic changes at a hospital where the wrong patient was recently subjected to brain surgery. It has been more than a week since a registrar -- a specialist doctor in training -- cut open the skull of the patient, who was only meant to have a non-invasive procedure, but the outrage over the mistake is still mounting."

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/kenya-kenyatta-national-hospital-wrong-patient-brain-surgery-doctors-on-strike/

(which format/program do you use for shortened URLs here?)

Rather than worry about shortening them, just make them active:
1. Highlight the entire URL
2. Click on the "url" button below the text box.

Thanks, will do.

[BillyVance 34]

"I fought the law, and the law won"

Jesus, look at the dude with the bandaged forehead. Looks like the cops turned his nose like it was a stove dial!

https://www.wcbi.com/meth-bust-nets-four-arrests/

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ryoder 1,590]

OK, you Canadians are taking this "being nice" thing just too far;
You'd never see this in the US: https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/careersandeducation/over-500-canadian-doctors-protest-raises-say-theyre-being-paid-too-much-yes-too-much/ar-BBJXyGf

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Bob_Church 7]

BillyVance

"I fought the law, and the law won"

Jesus, look at the dude with the bandaged forehead. Looks like the cops turned his nose like it was a stove dial!

https://www.wcbi.com/meth-bust-nets-four-arrests/

What is that? I mean, how can it still be attached at that angle?