Douchy dilemma...

[Nataly 38]

Last night I saw a profile on Tinder that I had seen before... I swiped right ("like") out of curiosity. To my amazement, woke up this morning to a "match" and a message from this guy and thought HOLY FUCKBALLS - HE DOESN'T REMEMBER!!!

To explain... A little over a year ago, I matched up with a cute guy on a dating site. I may even have mentioned it on here... After a few words exchanged online, he *insisted* we meet up for a coffee - he seemed very keen, and I agreed.

He arrived just before me, and as I was walking up to him I could already tell from the look of utter DISGUST on his face that he was *not* a happy camper. He had a huge slice of cake in front of him and a ginormous coffee. We did the customary two kisses on the cheek and I asked "should I order a coffee?" He said "fine" in the least enthusiastic manner imaginable. By the time I had my coffee in hand, he had already vacuumed up his cake and finished his super-sized coffee as well. After all of 2 words he cut me off, got up and said "listen... I'm going to go now, because this is NOT going to work." Emphasis on the "NOT"... And just like that he got up and left. But I thought - whatever... At least I know the guy is a douche from the word go.

AAAAAANYWAY... Fast forward to today... He wants to meet up for drinks. I just... Can't... Even... There are no words... Part of me thinks I should meet up with him... Most of me thinks even in the best-case scenario it would accomplish nothing at all and/or never be as satisfying as I imagine in my head... Because he is unlikely to give a shit.




And just for the record... I make a point of putting some seriously unflattering pics on my Tinder profile - it *usually* weeds out guys like this... But sometimes, apparently, they can't be arsed to look at all 6 pictures... Hmmmm...

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[wolfriverjoe 1,523]

I wouldn't go.

Option one: Arrange a date, don't show up. If he asks where you were, tell him that you saw him sitting there, recognized him and realized that "this is NOT going to work" and left.

Option two: Message him and ask if he remembers you. Because you certainly remember him (say that and nothing more).

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[Remster 30]

The internets DEMANDS we see said tinder profile pics... :p

Remster

[ryoder 1,590]

Remster

The internets DEMANDS we see said tinder profile pics... :p

+1!!!

I'm thinking the guy is probably excited that Nat is giving him a second chance.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[BillyVance 34]

wolfriverjoe

I wouldn't go.

Option one: Arrange a date, don't show up. If he asks where you were, tell him that you saw him sitting there, recognized him and realized that "this is NOT going to work" and left.

Option two: Message him and ask if he remembers you. Because you certainly remember him (say that and nothing more).

Hell, just walk right up to him and tell him straight to his face "this is NOT going to work!" and walk away.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ryoder 1,590]

BillyVance

Hell, just walk right up to him and tell him straight to his face "this is NOT going to work!" and walk away.

And since the "boobies" option is leading, I think she should flash him before she walks away.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[muff528 3]

Ignore completely. Give it no further thought.

[wmw999 2,447]

You have nothing to gain by going. You might find out why a rude jerk was able to "reject" you without even talking to you (what gain is that?), or you might get the "self-satisfaction" of giving him some of his own back (it'll end up making you feel kind of dirty, because you don't raise yourself by lowering others).

The most I'd do would be to reply that you've met before and it wasn't a match. Leave HIM wondering, and get on with your own life.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[RiggerLee 61]

What I don't understand is why you would start this all over again. What did you have to gain? Other then just starting shit which is likely to create a problem, get beat up, car keyed, tires slashed, raped, murdered. Lot's of options of how this confrontation cold end and a good percentage of them are bad.

I don't know what was up before. Maybe there was a legitement hard no issue for him. Example: maybe he did not realize that you are, for instance, a filthy disgusting sub human smoker. Yes, I'm allergic. That would be an example of valid deal killer and at least he was straight up about it. Second option is that he's a predator. It was a test to see if you would get up and chase after him and beg him to reconsider. This would mark you as week and vulnerable and easily controlled. A perfect victim that he could abuse.

Ether way, Why go there? Steer clear and count your self lucky.

Lee

Lee
lee@velocitysportswear.com
www.velocitysportswear.com

[CSpenceFLY 1]

ryoder

***

Hell, just walk right up to him and tell him straight to his face "this is NOT going to work!" and walk away.

And since the "boobies" option is leading, I think she should flash
US.

Fixed that for you.

[Nataly 38]

wmw999

You have nothing to gain by going. You might find out why a rude jerk was able to "reject" you without even talking to you (what gain is that?), or you might get the "self-satisfaction" of giving him some of his own back (it'll end up making you feel kind of dirty, because you don't raise yourself by lowering others).

The most I'd do would be to reply that you've met before and it wasn't a match. Leave HIM wondering, and get on with your own life.

Wendy P.

Pretty much my thoughts exactly.

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[Nataly 38]

RiggerLee

What I don't understand is why you would start this all over again. What did you have to gain? Other then just starting shit which is likely to create a problem, get beat up, car keyed, tires slashed, raped, murdered. Lot's of options of how this confrontation cold end and a good percentage of them are bad.

I don't know what was up before. Maybe there was a legitement hard no issue for him. Example: maybe he did not realize that you are, for instance, a filthy disgusting sub human smoker. Yes, I'm allergic. That would be an example of valid deal killer and at least he was straight up about it. Second option is that he's a predator. It was a test to see if you would get up and chase after him and beg him to reconsider. This would mark you as week and vulnerable and easily controlled. A perfect victim that he could abuse.

Ether way, Why go there? Steer clear and count your self lucky.

Lee

Nope. I just think he actually does not remember rejecting me the first time. Kinda tempting to do the same thing back to him, but he is unlikely to give a shit. So it wouldn't feel satisfying. And even if it were mildly satisfying, the most likely outcome is that *I* would feel like a douche.

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[ryoder 1,590]

Nataly

Nope. I just think he actually does not remember rejecting me the first time. Kinda tempting to do the same thing back to him, but he is unlikely to give a shit. So it wouldn't feel satisfying. And even if it were mildly satisfying, the most likely outcome is that *I* would feel like a douche.

So here is a plan: Arrange to meet him at a coffee shop;
Then, call a meeting of your chicks-in-white club, (seen on your FB page).
The whole group walks in, goes up to his table, looks at him, then says:
"Sorry, it's not a match."
Then you all march out together.

Being rejected by that entire group would be a real ego blow.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Nataly 38]

ryoder

***

Nope. I just think he actually does not remember rejecting me the first time. Kinda tempting to do the same thing back to him, but he is unlikely to give a shit. So it wouldn't feel satisfying. And even if it were mildly satisfying, the most likely outcome is that *I* would feel like a douche.

So here is a plan: Arrange to meet him at a coffee shop;
Then, call a meeting of your chicks-in-white club, (seen on your FB page).
The whole group walks in, goes up to his table, looks at him, then says:
"Sorry, it's not a match."
Then you all march out together.

Being rejected by that entire group would be a real ego blow.





Yeah. Sounds funny on paper but even if it worked out perfectly like that the best case scenario is that *I* would end up feeling like a douche.

I just messaged him that I wouldn't be meeting up with him - not feeling it. Could have had him guessing and said I wasn't going to meet up with him *again* but I really get the feeling he would not put two and tow together and even if he did, he would not give a shit.

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[Phillbo 11]

Smart move.

[riggerrob 643]

You took the high road Nataly.
Stooping to their level rarely does any good.
Sometimes silence is your most powerful weapon.

[wolfriverjoe 1,523]

Oh sure. Do the "smart" and "mature" thing.

If you were planning on doing that, why did you ask here?

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[Elisha 1]

ryoder

***The internets DEMANDS we see said tinder profile pics... :p

+1!!!

I'm thinking the guy is probably excited that Nat is giving him a second chance.

+1

[ryoder 1,590]

riggerrob

You took the high road Nataly.
Stooping to their level rarely does any good.
Sometimes silence is your most powerful weapon.

How can we expect to read entertaining followup posts from Nat if she takes the high road?

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Nataly 38]

wolfriverjoe

Oh sure. Do the "smart" and "mature" thing.

If you were planning on doing that, why did you ask here?

Meh - just interesting to hear different points of view. Sometimes imagining a scenario is more fun than actually going ahead with it. Things rarely happen like you think they will anyway.

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[JohnMitchell 16]

Nataly

***Oh sure. Do the "smart" and "mature" thing.

If you were planning on doing that, why did you ask here?

Meh - just interesting to hear different points of view. Sometimes imagining a scenario is more fun than actually going ahead with it. Things rarely happen like you think they will anyway.

We're still waiting for your tinder pics. . .

[Nataly 38]

JohnMitchell

******Oh sure. Do the "smart" and "mature" thing.

If you were planning on doing that, why did you ask here?

Meh - just interesting to hear different points of view. Sometimes imagining a scenario is more fun than actually going ahead with it. Things rarely happen like you think they will anyway.

We're still waiting for your tinder pics. . .

I change them up a bit once in a while but these are the current ones. They are all recent except the helicopter pic which was from 2012 (?). Anyhoo - I try to show a range and like to make sure they are representative.

There is one last picture of my bike but seems to have exceeded attachment size...

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[Nataly 38]

Last profile pic...

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[Malta_Dog 0]

I'd like a date with your bike...

All your dropzone are belong to us!!!!111!

[JohnMitchell 16]

Acro yoga, sport bike, skydiving . . . you're my (our) kind of girl. I esp. like the yoga pose on the bridge.

Maybe you're intimidating too many guys. Add a picture of you in the kitchen taking fresh cookies out of the oven.

I liked the bit of advice someone said for this guy "Nope, I don't think it will work this time either." If he can't realize how cool you are, he's not worth it.