how to kill a gopher?

[rapter 0]

Ok, I have a gopher problem , this subterranean rat has no mounds anywhere or ever see him. but he dumps his dirt in my sprinkler valve box from some tunnel that I can't find. one day it's empty the next day it's packed with a 5 gallon bucket worth of dirt to the top. I'd love to trap, poison, or otherwise kill this vermin, I'm about to turn Carl Spackler from Caddy Shack on his rodent ass. what can I do? this has been going on all summer.

Only the good die young, so I have found immortality,

[jtval 0]

buy 10 boa's, dont feed them for a month and let them go in different holes

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[pullhigh 0]

Well, he's obviosly coming into the sprinkler box at some point. I'm thinking some C-4 and a motion sensor out to do the trick...

[Zep 0]

Mustard gas, The answer to all rodent problems

Gone fishing

[cocheese 0]

Play that Kenny Loggins song. They love that. Then when they're dancing, blast em.

[kbordson 8]

Golfers?! Why would you want to kill the golfers?

[skydiverbrian 0]

I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang.

In a world full of people, only some want to fly... isn't that crazy! --Seal

[rapter 0]

So far all great ideas, but the details won't work, First of all, if I could find it's hole I'd need only one boa, and then a mongoose to get rid of the snake, better yet, I'd camp out in front of it's hole with my Ithaca 10ga. road blocker and do the dirty work myself. Being in Calif. the environmental laws prevent me for buying Mustard gas, same for the C-4. I do have some old skydiving tapes with a Kenny Loggins song, "Highway to the danger zone", but I'd cap myself if I hear that again. How did you know I hated golfers? it's the stupid short pants and funny shoes they wear, (I have the same feeling about headdown flyer and there jumpsuits.) and they have all that grass with 18 little windsocks and I can't land or pack on.
But keep the ideas coming one's gotta work

Only the good die young, so I have found immortality,

[monkycndo 0]

I use to work at a hardware store that carried a whole bunch of gopher killing stuff. Traps, gopher gassers, poison, noice makers...etc. None of them worked as well as finding the hole and sticking a couple road flares down it. Then cover the hole back up. The flare burns the oxygen and fills the hole full of toxic gases. If there are any other locations where the hole comes to the surface, the smoke from the flare will come out there. You will be surprised how many places they can get into their tunnel.
Many happy customers and dead gophers.

50 donations so far. Give it a try.

You know you want to spank it
Jump an Infinity

[pirana 0]

Our cat is an excellent hunter-killer. That's her nickname. Any rodent of any type that makes the mistake of entering our yard is living on borrowed time.

Get a big cat.

" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

[crewkeith 0]

turn on a propane torch but dont light it. put it in the sprinkler box for ten minutes then throw a match in. no more gopher. but stand back a ways or no more eyebrows
bsbd
keith

The skies are no longer safe

I'm back

[riggerrob 643]

The other day - at work - one of guys complained about small birds flying into the warehouse and shifting on the shelves, so I suggested hiring a cat.
A lengthy debate about cats - as rodent hunters - ensued.
Apparently our problems pale in comparison with a warehouse worker in Surrey. He also requested a cat, but his rodent problem is so big that he requested a big cat .... he requested a cougar-sized cat to eradicate the beaver-sized rodents that have been stealing his wooden pallets!
Hah!
Hah!

[oldwomanc6 52]

Fun thread, would read again.

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[piisfish 140]

This is what you want http://m.rodentblaster.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.rodentblaster.com%2FRodent_Blaster.html&utm_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.ch%2F#2852

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[Phillbo 11]

none of this helps if he can't find the hole. get a game camera and leave the top off of the valve box.

[wolfriverjoe 1,523]

Phillbo

none of this helps if he can't find the hole. get a game camera and leave the top off of the valve box.

OP was over 9 years ago. That particular gopher is long dead.

I have to admit that the acetylene idea is pretty interesting.

Dangerous as all hell, but interesting.

I'd go for the road flare idea or, on a similar note, hook up a hose to the exhaust pipe of a lawn tractor or something similar and CO them (can't use a modern car because the exhaust has gotten too clean).

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[Amazon 7]

wolfriverjoe

***none of this helps if he can't find the hole. get a game camera and leave the top off of the valve box.

OP was over 9 years ago. That particular gopher is long dead.

I have to admit that the acetylene idea is pretty interesting.

Dangerous as all hell, but interesting.

I'd go for the road flare idea or, on a similar note, hook up a hose to the exhaust pipe of a lawn tractor or something similar and CO them (can't use a modern car because the exhaust has gotten too clean).

I would not suggest using the propane or any other flammable gas during the dry season.. but wet season... the amount of flying dirt out of the blocked tunnels is epic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V61ExUc9kYg

[ryoder 1,590]

There there are these guys who go hand-to-paw with prairie dogs;
One with only nitrile gloves, and the other bare-handed...to capture critters that sometimes carry plague.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbd-iH4aWxA

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Amazon 7]

ryoder

There there are these guys who go hand-to-paw with prairie dogs;
One with only nitrile gloves, and the other bare-handed...to capture critters that sometimes carry plague.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbd-iH4aWxA

OK they need to leave the little doggies alone..

Gophers are one thing... annoying little pests that do a hell of a lot of damage.. but prairie dogs are a whole nother story.... a friend had a couple of them as pets.. interesting critters.. and a hell of a lot more affectionate than most pets.

[theonlyski 8]

wolfriverjoe

I'd go for the road flare idea or, on a similar note, hook up a hose to the exhaust pipe of a lawn tractor or something similar and CO them (can't use a modern car because the exhaust has gotten too clean).

Not sure what you'd consider 'modern' but these guys would probably disagree that an 02 is too clean. http://www.baynews9.com/content/news/baynews9/news/article.html/content/news/articles/bn9/2015/12/21/police_teens_overcom.html

"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

[rocketscientist 0]

ok believe this or not... take a gallon milk jug, fill it up with water, dump water down gopher hole, stick mouth of jug into hole, wait a few minutes, gopher will climb up into jug. taught my son this trick when he was around 8/9yrs old..

My inner child is a mean little fucker

[BillyVance 34]

rocketscientist

ok believe this or not... take a gallon milk jug, fill it up with water, dump water down gopher hole, stick mouth of jug into hole, wait a few minutes, gopher will climb up into jug. taught my son this trick when he was around 8/9yrs old..

Are gophers actually small enough to squeeze through the mouth of a milk gallon container??? I'm sure rats can, but gophers???

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[rocketscientist 0]

yes gophers can squeeze thru the opening... it sounds crazy but it works.. the more water you pour down the hole, the faster they come out... but one gallon per hole works.

My inner child is a mean little fucker

[BillyVance 34]

rocketscientist

yes gophers can squeeze thru the opening... it sounds crazy but it works.. the more water you pour down the hole, the faster they come out... but one gallon per hole works.

I'm not discounting the process. I flushed out a chipmunk with water one time from under my sidewalk. I was just surprised gophers are small enough to fit through a hole not much bigger than an inch and a quarter or thereabouts.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[turtlespeed 220]

BillyVance

***yes gophers can squeeze thru the opening... it sounds crazy but it works.. the more water you pour down the hole, the faster they come out... but one gallon per hole works.

I'm not discounting the process. I flushed out a chipmunk with water one time from under my sidewalk. I was just surprised gophers are small enough to fit through a hole not much bigger than an inch and a quarter or thereabouts.

I don't think the Caddy Shack gopher would, but he dances, so . . ,

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun