Best DZ.com post ever?

[decompresion 2]

I have a few favorites, but I am looking for the best post ever (not thread).

My favorite right now is the dude who slammed the Incidents forum moderator for posting incidents.

There are no dangerous dives
Only dangerous divers

[quade 4]

I can't even remember the name, but years ago some kid (14-16?) posted here asking about becoming a skydiver and then his mom followed up in outrage over the language and sexual innuendo being used on the site.

We got a pretty good chuckle out of that.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[DanG 1]

My favorite was the 50 jump wonder berating Kirk Verner for giving RW advice.

- Dan G

[Rick 67]

DanG

My favorite was the 50 jump wonder berating Kirk Verner for giving RW advice.

I agree that was awesome

You can't be drunk all day if you don't start early!

[pchapman 279]

My favourite post (well, 2 posts) was some years back when a fellow was describing doing RW and wrote about "reaching" for grips.

Some relative newbie trashed him for his stupidity, saying you are never, ever supposed to reach for grips, but to fly to them, duh.

The newbie was both unaware of the subtleties of RW, and of who who he was trying to correct: A former Arizona Airspeed member with 10,000+ 23,000+ jumps, Alan Metni Kirk Verner

Edit: Yes it was Verner as was just posted.

(Can't find the posts right now unfortunately.)
http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=3409993#3409993

The one about slamming the Incidents moderator was funny too. The guy was wondering why the heck this PhreeZone guy had this bizarre fascination with posting about death and accidents...

[kunosoura 0]

Any of the Twardo stories.... thinking about some of the Capt. K tales in particular.

[PhreeZone 20]

Clinton Radloff

Yesterday is history
And tomorrow is a mystery

Parachutemanuals.com

[quade 4]

PhreeZone

Clinton Radloff

There we go!

My god. Was it really that long ago?

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[zoobrothertom 5]

DanG

My favorite was the 50 jump wonder berating Kirk Verner for giving RW advice.

Dan, you gotta post a link to that one!

Never mind. Already there.

____________________________________
I'm back in the USA!!

[craddock 0]

zoobrothertom

***My favorite was the 50 jump wonder berating Kirk Verner for giving RW advice.

Dan, you gotta post a link to that one!

Never mind. Already there.

I could use the link. That is funny stuff there. It for some odd reason reminds me of one of the first times I was wrote in the DZ quote book(first of many) After doing chase plane on my first 8 way(182 DZ) at 70 jumps, I later declared I had "grips like butter". The jump was full of people with 1000 to 10000 jumps except me. 70 jump wonder

That spot isn't bad at all, the winds were strong and that was the issue! It was just on the downwind side.

[Remster 30]

This parody http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=29893#29893

(see original version for reference) http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=29822#29822

I'm going to start a change.org petition to bring AlienAngel back. That guy has some balls

Remster

[yoink 321]

DanG

My favorite was the 50 jump wonder berating Kirk Verner for giving RW advice.

Yup. That one.

I still go back and read it occasionally.

[virgin-burner 1]

everything from dorkzone-hero(?)!

it's been too long..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[lawrocket 3]

Sebastian's three hole punch.
I agree with Remi - squashing that budderfly
Airtwardo's college trip to Arizona
Twardo goes yard.
Skreamer's premature exit
And at the risk of being arrogant, this was an old favorite. http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=3562574#3562574

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[aphid 0]

lawrocket

And at the risk of being arrogant, this was an old favorite. http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=3562574#3562574

My sincere thanks.

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

My favorite was also the one where the newbie corrected Kirk Verner on his docking advice.

Newbie:
"This is Incorrect! You Never want to REACH while trying to dock you wil only find yourself everywhere else but docking when reaching.... "

What was more hysterical was the same Newbie's response when people were telling him that he should probably rethink correctly a multiple world champion.

Newbie:
"BLAH...BLAH...BLAH...., all I hear, Funny everyone wants to chime in an put in there two cents, but I actually jump with the original poster and have been helping him along the way.....
For somebody so "Expert" as Kirk Who-ever.... he should know not to tell a STUDENT to reach while trying to dock, I can understand a jumper with some experience reaching and being okay but a jumper with 25 jumps needs to be taught to fly his body not reach"

I'm pretty sure people went from giggling and being slightly embarrassed for him to being somewhat shocked by his ridiculous reaction and comments. Too funny...

Remi, I wasn't around when this was initially posted, but I remember reading it a few years back. I just now reread it, and it was cry-laugh hysterical both times!

Remster

This parody http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=29893#29893

Quote

..That guy has some balls

Bwaahaaahaaa!!

[craddock 0]

I agree. I just now got home and found the thread. The first post was pretty funny but I would have cut him a little slack. But his skin was to thin to realize he should back off. Unbelievable what his subsequent responses were. It was a good read. Until I got to a couple posts toward the end from a good guy no longer around which gave me pause.

That spot isn't bad at all, the winds were strong and that was the issue! It was just on the downwind side.

[decompresion 2]

lawrocket

Sebastian's three hole punch.
Airtwardo's college trip to Arizona
Twardo goes yard.
Skreamer's premature exit

I must admit that I missed these 4 threads.
I will do some searching...how did I miss a twardo post?

There are no dangerous dives
Only dangerous divers

[BillyVance 34]

decompresion

I will do some searching...how did I miss a twardo post?

Maybe in the Scary Stories thread in the History forum? His best works are in there.

As for best post ever, I don't have just one. Impossible to pick one. I love many of WaltAppel's posts, and still remember his "Putting the fun back into suicide" post that earned him his perma-ban. And of course, there's nipple-boy's parodies, some of which are classics.

There's also Funks, who's a legend on here for continually coming back on here from time to time to troll the forums after his perma-banning, in spectacular fashion, especially the mishskygirl troll. OMFG that was hysterical!

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[jumpwally 0]

mishkygirl ? got a link, imust have missed that one,,,

smile, be nice, enjoy life
FB # - 1083

[BillyVance 34]

jumpwally

mishkygirl ? got a link, imust have missed that one,,,

Unless you have mod powers, you won't be able to see any of it.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[karlm 0]

Hands down has to be this thread from a few years back ....

Walkmonauti AKA Angled Walking

http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?do=post_view_flat;post=3149277;page=1;mh=-1;;sb=post_latest_reply;so=ASC

Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.

[Remster 30]

karlm

Hands down has to be this thread from a few years back ....

Walkmonauti AKA Angled Walking

http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?do=post_view_flat;post=3149277;page=1;mh=-1;;sb=post_latest_reply;so=ASC

https://i.imgflip.com/8do0u.jpg

Remster

[wolfriverjoe 1,523]

I would put some of 'Twardo's up there.

These come to mind first:

The Arizona trip (I don't know who he was, but he sure could spot).
The Gayle Sayers smoke grenade mount story (Here's your marker back)
The "Pyro that didn't ignite quite the way it was supposed to (I must have a malfunction... or something)
The "We had to dumb it down" post (Of all the things that changed over the years, it wasn't the gloves)
He also C&P'd a piece from one of the Wiki parodies about skydiving, the disciplines and the planes that was great (but it was a copy, not an original)

The new guy telling KV that he didn't know what he was talking about.

Some of Nipp1eBoy's trolls were ok.

For posts that were links to other places, the Gold Bond thread has to be an all time great. The "Lutz-a-like on a Bike', where the guy put NOS energy drink into his gas tank, thinking it was fuel additive was good. And of course, NARWALES!!!!

WaltAppel was perma-banned before my time, so I really haven't experienced him.

But I have to give the absolute, no question, most favorite, bestest of all time post to LawRocket's summation, with picture links and names, of the "Name That Rack" thread.

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[wmw999 2,460]

Nipplboy's best work was on rec.skydiving before dz.com days.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)