Boogers 0 #1 April 1, 2014 Skydiving is just too darned difficult to master. Heck, you can only practice it a minute at a time, you can spend an entire year and only get two hours of practice - what kind of goofy sport is that? And before you've even begun to figure out how to be good flying on your belly, next thing you know people are asking you to fly head-down, feet-first, butt-fly, atop a board, in a squirrel suit - sheesh, make up your minds already! And who the heck can keep up with all the stupid acronyms: AFF, AAD, MLW, PC, FS, POBs, B12's... And there are names of things like bodkins and slinks and bights, oh my! For chris sake - who thinks up this stuff? A 3-ring is a good circus show, not a cut-away system - did that bearded ZZ Top guy get permission from P.T. Barnum to use that name? You've got maneuvers called things like horny gorilla, meeker, murphy flake, whacker, cataccord (what do cats have to do with accordians?), and dozens more - this is worse than memorizing grade school multiplication tables! You've got to have a college degree in calculus to understand spotting, with wind speeds at various altitudes, aircraft speed, forward throw, wind drift, freefall speed... Frick it. I quit! I'm going bowling: Drink beer, throw a ball. Easy! Heck you can bowl for two hours in one session, more time than that whole year of freefall. And you can get drunk and bowl at the same time - now you can't say that about skydiving! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GooniesKid 0 #2 April 1, 2014 you're doing it wrong bro. Continue jumping for the women! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boogers 0 #3 April 1, 2014 GooniesKidyou're doing it wrong bro. Continue jumping for the women! It's true that there are some really hot chicks at the DZ. How many jumps do you have to accumulate to get cool enough that they want to go to bed with you? Are Gold Wings a chick magnet? That might give me a goal to shoot for... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GooniesKid 0 #4 April 1, 2014 Bro...sure there are a ton of hot chicks at the DZ....but i'm referring to women whuffo outside the DZ community. It's not how many jumps, it's just a matter of having the license. Just tell a potential mate you have your license. Makes for an awesome ice breaker. you can even tell them you only have 25 jumps and they'll think it's a ton! show em your AFF cat 1 video and they'll still be wow'ed. The point is, and i'll say it again, being a skydiving is a great ice breaker for speed dating, dating, bar dating, eharmony.com, etc. Try it out Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #5 April 1, 2014 Geeze...THAT took long enough - thought you'd NEVER get the hint!! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hookitt 1 #6 April 1, 2014 Strange choice of words.... word. I've never read your posts so I don't have any advice except frick it is fucking weird. My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 2 #7 April 1, 2014 Boogers***you're doing it wrong bro. Continue jumping for the women! It's true that there are some really hot chicks at the DZ. How many jumps do you have to accumulate to get cool enough that they want to go to bed with you? Are Gold Wings a chick magnet? That might give me a goal to shoot for... You'll shoot for anything, won't you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
topdocker 0 #8 April 1, 2014 BoogersSkydiving is just too darned difficult to master. Heck, you can only practice it a minute at a time, you can spend an entire year and only get two hours of practice - what kind of goofy sport is that? And before you've even begun to figure out how to be good flying on your belly, next thing you know people are asking you to fly head-down, feet-first, butt-fly, atop a board, in a squirrel suit - sheesh, make up your minds already! And who the heck can keep up with all the stupid acronyms: AFF, AAD, MLW, PC, FS, POBs, B12's... And there are names of things like bodkins and slinks and bights, oh my! For chris sake - who thinks up this stuff? A 3-ring is a good circus show, not a cut-away system - did that bearded ZZ Top guy get permission from P.T. Barnum to use that name? You've got maneuvers called things like horny gorilla, meeker, murphy flake, whacker, cataccord (what do cats have to do with accordians?), and dozens more - this is worse than memorizing grade school multiplication tables! You've got to have a college degree in calculus to understand spotting, with wind speeds at various altitudes, aircraft speed, forward throw, wind drift, freefall speed... Frick it. I quit! I'm going bowling: Drink beer, throw a ball. Easy! Heck you can bowl for two hours in one session, more time than that whole year of freefall. And you can get drunk and bowl at the same time - now you can't say that about skydiving! Pffft! You left out CRW! You will learn a whole other set of things you don't know... like how to really fly a canopy, or how to sort out three tangled ones if you haven't figured out the first one. And a whole new awesome set of words and phrases... topJump more, post less! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IJskonijn 45 #9 April 2, 2014 Who the hell needs a hook knife anyway? Knives are supposed to be straight! Stupid discipline... ^_^ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kat4821 0 #10 April 2, 2014 GooniesKidyou're doing it wrong bro. Continue jumping for the women! So you're saying that if I jump, they will come? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boomerdog 0 #11 April 2, 2014 I note with interest the date you posted your message. Let's just say I think there's a bit of humorous insincerity in all of it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
potatoman 0 #12 April 2, 2014 Kat4821 ***you're doing it wrong bro. Continue jumping for the women! So you're saying that if I jump, they will come? Nope, that is a different kinda jumpin. Boogers, probably took you longer to write this post than the amount of airtime for the last year. You have the right to your opinion, and I have the right to tell you how Fu***** stupid it is. Davelepka - "This isn't an x-box, or a Chevy truck forum" Whatever you do, don't listen to ChrisD. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chuckakers 425 #13 April 2, 2014 BoogersFrick it. I quit! See ya.Chuck Akers D-10855 Houston, TX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 803 #14 April 2, 2014 Well, he is a skydiving! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GooniesKid 0 #15 April 2, 2014 Kat4821***you're doing it wrong bro. Continue jumping for the women! So you're saying that if I jump, they will come? Maybe... But what i'm trying to get peeps to understand is that being a skydiver is a great icebreaker for dates (outside the DZ community). Why? Because, from my experience, chicks get all "wow'ed" and really interested when you tell them you're a skydiver. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dzswoop717 5 #16 April 2, 2014 Back in the seventies there was this guy who would carry his log book with him where ever he went. He would ACCIDENTLY drop it in front of a pretty girl and at the same time say, "whoops I dropped my skydivers log book". HE NEVER GOT LAID using this trick. Chicks aren't impressed if you skydive. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GooniesKid 0 #17 April 2, 2014 dzswoop717 Back in the seventies there was this guy who would carry his log book with him where ever he went. He would ACCIDENTLY drop it in front of a pretty girl and at the same time say, "whoops I dropped my skydivers log book". HE NEVER GOT LAID using this trick. Chicks aren't impressed if you skydive. Hmmmmm, that trick my need to be rebooted for the 21st century! I might actually try that with a variation I sometimes approach the ladies with the polar bear line. Me : "Excuse me, how much does a polar bear weigh" Chick : "Don't know, why?" Me : "Enough to break the ice,,,hi my name is ..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #18 April 2, 2014 airtwardo Geeze...THAT took long enough - thought you'd NEVER get the hint!! I have trouble with those super pro 4 way jumpers that don't say the names of the formations anymore, just say "D-J-H-G". Gimme a hint. Do I grab an arm or a leg?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #19 April 2, 2014 dzswoop717 HE NEVER GOT LAID using this trick. Chicks aren't impressed if you skydive. If that's all the game he had, I'm not surprised.Women like men with a sense of humor. . .. And are tall and good looking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 803 #20 April 2, 2014 Being a tad bit more mentally mature than a 13 year old helps too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #21 April 2, 2014 Quote Women like men with a sense of humor. . .. And are tall and good looking. THANK GOD! If I had to go it with MY charm & personality alone ~ ~ That's exactly what I'd be ~ ~ ~ ALONE! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grue 1 #22 April 2, 2014 GooniesKid I sometimes approach the ladies with the polar bear line. Me : "Excuse me, how much does a polar bear weigh" Chick : "Don't know, why?" Me : "Enough to break the ice,,,hi my name is ..." "Hey does this handkerchief smell like chloroform to you?"cavete terrae. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grue 1 #23 April 2, 2014 JohnMitchell *** HE NEVER GOT LAID using this trick. Chicks aren't impressed if you skydive. If that's all the game he had, I'm not surprised.Women like men with a sense of humor. . .. And are tall and good looking.I'm not carrying much ammo in that last department, but my girlfriend admits she was initially interested in me because I was a skydiver …of course she also admits because it was also a way to get into the sport, and then BASE…cavete terrae. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GooniesKid 0 #24 April 2, 2014 grue *** I sometimes approach the ladies with the polar bear line. Me : "Excuse me, how much does a polar bear weigh" Chick : "Don't know, why?" Me : "Enough to break the ice,,,hi my name is ..." "Hey does this handkerchief smell like chloroform to you?" LOL! I like that! I once used "Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material" and got a resounding "no". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diablopilot 2 #25 April 2, 2014 QuoteWomen like men with a sense of humor. . .. And are tall and good looking QuoteBeing a tad bit more mentally mature than a 13 year old helps too. QuoteIf I had to go it with MY charm & personality alone ~ ~ That's exactly what I'd be ~ ~ ~ ALONE! I'm fucked.---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
