Nataly 38 #1 January 8, 2013 A highly scientific poll to resolve this issue once-and-for-all!!! Your partner cheats on you. Are you more upset by the physical act they committed with another person (ie: the sex itself), or the emotional connection they formed with another person (ie: emotional betrayal)? Feel free to elaborate/explain..."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #2 January 8, 2013 The physical act. It isn’t even close. Emotional attachment to another person is understandable but those are issues that can be worked around. Physical acts are a whole extra step. Whether she made passionate love or just had a one-time shag doesn’t matter. It’s an act of betrayal that cannot be undone. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airdvr 210 #3 January 8, 2013 As a victim of spousal cheating I can say the emotional betrayal hurt a hell of alot more than the physical act.Please don't dent the planet. Destinations by Roxanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheCaptain 2 #4 January 8, 2013 Trust, IMHO is the most important thing in a relationship. Lose that and then it is time to lose the relationship all together.Kirk He's dead Jim Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigMikeH77 0 #5 January 8, 2013 Been on both sides (more times than I care to remember), and the emotional transgression is by and far the most destructive. The trust becomes permanently and irreparably broken. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #6 January 8, 2013 Quote Trust, IMHO is the most important thing in a relationship. Lose that and then it is time to lose the relationship all together. Yup! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
promise5 17 #7 January 8, 2013 I'm not going to be helpful at all. But, both to me it goes hand in had. Cheating hurts like hell,I've been cheated on and yeah.No matter how slowly you say oranges it never sounds like gullible. Believe me I tried. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 3,070 #8 January 8, 2013 Neither one. It's the lying that bothers me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oldwomanc6 60 #9 January 8, 2013 So you'd be OK with infidelity as long as your SO came and immediately confessed? eta: No right or wrong answer here, just curious.lisa WSCR 594 FB 1023 CBDB 9 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bignugget 0 #10 January 8, 2013 How does paying for sex work? You certainly (I hope) aren't forming emotional bonds with your hookers, so is it just the physical act to worry about? Maybe you like big girls and your wife went on the damn atkins diet and weighs 80lbs now, and you just want some mo' lovin'. Is that considered cheating? Always wondered about that one. ETA: "You" etc certainly not directed at anyone individual, I forgot this thing responds to the last poster. I meant it as a generality. You as in those who use hookers. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
adamUK 3 #11 January 8, 2013 Quote How does paying for sex work? Depends if the other half gets an STI or not. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pacific 0 #12 January 8, 2013 Nothing on your poll mentions the feeling of betrayal. That hurt the most. Bill Von was close. You don't even have to be in a coupled relationship for it to be a traumatic experience. Perhaps the worst part is how cheaters try to justify their infidelity. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #13 January 9, 2013 Quote I've been cheated on and yeah. Sorry to laugh, but that's a pretty stupid guy.I've been married so long I don't remember anything about dating, cheating, etc. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #15 January 9, 2013 Quote Neither one. It's the lying that bothers me. Yeah, me too but I am forcing people to choose between the above two options because that's what I was curious about. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MikeJD 0 #16 January 9, 2013 I'm a pretty old-fashioned guy when it comes to relationships, and every aspect of infedility hits very hard. But I voted for the physical act, because to some extent you can't help forming emotional connections with people. You can stop yourself jumping into bed with them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ianmdrennan 2 #17 January 10, 2013 Quote Neither one. It's the lying that bothers me. Winner! I'm with Bill.Performance Designs Factory Team Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 3,070 #18 January 10, 2013 >So you'd be OK with infidelity as long as your SO came and immediately confessed? I don't know; it would depend on the situation. Someone who has sex with the person that rescued them/helped them after a close call, when emotions are running high? That, to me, is more understandable than someone who goes on a website, makes plans and then hooks up without telling the partner. Much better to talk about it _beforehand_ in any case. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 3,070 #19 January 10, 2013 > You certainly (I hope) aren't forming emotional bonds with your hookers, so is it > just the physical act to worry about? . . .Is that considered cheating? Again, for me, if you lie about it - it's cheating. If you want to have sex with hookers, and you talk about it with your partner beforehand, at least you can both make an informed decision about it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davjohns 1 #20 January 10, 2013 I can't differentiate. The phyiscal act is the consumation of the betrayal in the mind / heart. It started in the mind and was allowed to grow into a physical act. They are one and the same in my mind; or at least on the same evolutionary line. The cheater failed to be faithful in a small way and never turned away.I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #21 January 10, 2013 Lying is the gateway to a whole bunch of bad behavior."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Coreece 190 #22 January 10, 2013 Quote Quote >So you'd be OK with infidelity as long as your SO came and immediately confessed? I don't know; it would depend on the situation. Right, there are just too many variables....my heads spinning - I need a drink!Your secrets are the true reflection of who you really are... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #23 January 10, 2013 Quote > You certainly (I hope) aren't forming emotional bonds with your hookers, so is it > just the physical act to worry about? . . .Is that considered cheating? Again, for me, if you lie about it - it's cheating. If you want to have sex with hookers, and you talk about it with your partner beforehand, at least you can both make an informed decision about it. That's pretty much my opinion too. IF you're gonna do it at least be honest & respectful enough to let your 'partner' know that's the way the relationship is framed in 'your' mind. I've never cheated in my life...since I started dating @ about 16. Many times I had been 'dating' more than one woman and always made it clear that it was not an exclusive relationship. It's only fair to let the person(s) your are 'involved' with know what's going on...without full disclosure THEY can't make an informed decision regarding the true status of the relationship. If you don't have the honesty thing going you are just wasting your time. Back when I was dating & things would start moving forward with someone, I would ALWAYS tell them that I would never lie about seeing other people and would always answer any question asked ~ just make sure you really WANT to hear the answer. And I expected the same in return. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Coreece 190 #24 January 11, 2013 Quote The trust becomes permanently and irreparably broken. I dunno...I just never understood how we can trust people. Trust has to be earned...and even then after years we all still have our weaknesses. I don't know how I could trust anyone, but then again I've always been attracted to evil women so it's never really been an issue/surprise. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFwYJYl5GUQ I guess I just have a thing for taming femme fatale: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhQXE09Y-HgYour secrets are the true reflection of who you really are... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
promise5 17 #25 January 11, 2013 Quote I can't differentiate. The phyiscal act is the consumation of the betrayal in the mind / heart. It started in the mind and was allowed to grow into a physical act. They are one and the same in my mind; or at least on the same evolutionary line. The cheater failed to be faithful in a small way and never turned away.great post!! Think I'll send this on to someone.No matter how slowly you say oranges it never sounds like gullible. Believe me I tried. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
