JohnMitchell 16 #26 October 31, 2012 Quote I hope you enjoy your trip and to tell you the truth, I don't like traveling with my mother either. She drives me crazy! We told our kids, as they moved into the teenage years, that we would all of a sudden be stupid and drive them crazy. We told them that was normal, that it was nature's way of making them want to leave the nest. We're down to one teenager at home and we enjoy her company very much. I really would like her to stay around a while longer. I think people were happier when several generations lived within walking distance of each other. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guineapiggie101 0 #27 November 1, 2012 I think I am going to HK. I already found a ticket that is priced not too badly. Planning to go the 1/24 - 1/31. I am gonna email my uncle and ask him are those days good. I will be there for a week. Gonna stay in a hotel and ask to hang out for a day or so. Also will ask him NOT to tell my mom until my plans are finalized. What do you think of my email: I am thinking of taking a week off aand flying onto Hong Kong and paying you guys a visit. It would be the perfect opportunity. I plan on staying in HK for one week (1/24 - 1/31) and will be staying in a hotel. If you are available one or two of those days to show the sights to me, that would be great. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wolfriverjoe 1,523 #28 November 1, 2012 That is so cool that you decided to go. Not that you are defying your mom, but that you aren'tl letting her stop you from doing something that you really want to do. Just my $0.02 on the e-mail - Since it was his invitation in the first place, start off with something like: "I've decided to follow through on your suggestion to visit Hong Kong" so that he knows it was his idea that started the whole thing. For the hotel thing, something like: "Can you recommend a good hotel, close to you and close to the things I'd like to see?" That makes it clear that you aren't intending to mooch lodgings from him and his family, but leaves it open to him to offer if he wants to. Same with the time you plan on spending with them. Leave it vague, so that they can suggest how much. Maybe they only want to spend a day or two, but if it's your favorite uncle, he may want to spend the entire time with you."There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy "~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guineapiggie101 0 #29 November 1, 2012 I ended up emailing them my original email. I decided beforehand that I would stay in a hotel (so I wouldn't inconvenience people). Also, I like time to myself instead of being in people's faces all day. It's a stress reliever thing for me. My uncle wrote back that he would be happy to show me around and to let him know my itinerary once it is finalized. He did agree not to tell my mom. I do plan on telling my mom before I go, but not before plans are finalized. I don't need the headache. I plan on buying the air ticket today or tomorrow. I am both excited and SCARED about doing this. I get to see my uncle, but I am going against my mom in order to do so (which I highly dislike doing). Can't wait till end of Jan comes. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingRhenquest 1 #30 November 1, 2012 OK dude, seriously, interacting with your family shouldn't be as frightening as jumping out of an airplane! The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem!I'm trying to teach myself how to set things on fire with my mind. Hey... is it hot in here? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airdvr 210 #31 November 1, 2012 Am I the only one amazed that you've made 26 jumps?Please don't dent the planet. Destinations by Roxanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guineapiggie101 0 #32 November 1, 2012 Quote Am I the only one amazed that you've made 26 jumps? Did you think I would have more jumps???? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alexafox 0 #33 November 2, 2012 QuoteQuoteQuoteIf I were you I'd tell your mom to fuck off. Pretty much the only advice needed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9euSKXOe7c How fucking good is Metalocalypse!!!I refuse to accept a mediocre life... facebook.com/chutefirst chutefirstapparel.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oldwomanc6 52 #34 November 2, 2012 Quote Quote Am I the only one amazed that you've made 26 jumps? Did you think I would have more jumps???? You will! lisa WSCR 594 FB 1023 CBDB 9 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #35 November 2, 2012 When you gonna come up to Seattle and make a tandem with me? I'll let you steer the chute and stuff. . . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guineapiggie101 0 #36 November 2, 2012 Quote When you gonna come up to Seattle and make a tandem with me? I'll let you steer the chute and stuff. . . That'd be cool. Maybe next year. I haven't been to Seattle since I was a kid. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #37 November 2, 2012 I haven't been to Seattle since I was a kid. Quote I was there for the world's fair in '62...place hasn't changed a bit ~ Still have that space needle thingie! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krip 2 #38 November 2, 2012 Quote I haven't been to Seattle since I was a kid. Quote I was there for the world's fair in '62...place hasn't changed a bit ~ Still have that space needle thingie! Your both still KidsIn a few yr's the viaduct along the waterfront will be gone and replaced by a tunnel for a nice unobstructed of elliot bay .OTOH after the last earthquake the viaduct can fall down before the tunnel is completed.R. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #39 November 2, 2012 Quote I was there for the world's fair in '62...place hasn't changed a bit ~ Still have that space needle thingie! Back when that was the tallest thing in town.I like Seattle. Like Portland, it has a nice mix of mellow and weird. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
emmiwy 0 #40 November 2, 2012 *High five* Betty, you're awesome. I'm really glad that you shared your experience because while I've had and continue to have similar challenges, it never gets easier learning how to balance our own needs vs. the need to please people, especially our parents. I can get stuck extremely deep into a psycho-social role reversal to reconcile and cope with how my parents think the way they do. It can drive me a little crazy sometimes. I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself: if you don't, your mom will continue to treat you the way she has. To be treated like an adult (unfortunately for me being a passive wallflower around my parents) asserting ourselves is necessary to develop confidence in communicating our needs, and to generally mature our own sense of identity. In many years of deliberating this, I've found that not speaking out equals obedience to them and breeds dependence on this parent-child relationship. It is deceptively comfortable having someone make decisions for you, to be corralled down a specific path. Until you realize you deserve more than that and have confidence in living life in your own way. Listen to yourself and give yourself the opportunity to trust that doing what YOU want is completely ok. What you want is more important than what your mom wants in the grand scheme of what we call "Your Life". Its not anyone's responsibility but our own to pursue our happiness. I know you have the self-respect and self-worth needed to take the step to do what's right for you, which is why you choosing to go to HK is not a surprising outcome to me. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guineapiggie101 0 #41 November 2, 2012 Emmy, thanks for your vote of confidence. It wasn't easy and I was in tears after I stood up to my mom about hanging out with my uncle. I purchased my air ticket today. I will be in HK from 1/24 - 1/31/13 . Flying non-stop from LAX. Tix was $1238. Not too bad. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guineapiggie101 0 #42 November 10, 2012 Do you think it is a bad idea that I emailed my uncle for hotel/area suggestions to stay in, so it is easier for us to meet up. My uncle doesn't have a car (it's really NOT feasible to have a car in HK), so he will have to meet up with me on the days we hang out. I still haven't decided on the hotel yet, since I am not sure what area to stay in. BTW, I dropped a hint to my mom about me traveling to HK. She didn't take it that well. Ooops! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,439 #43 November 10, 2012 if you have his address, you can google map it to see what hotels are close (Tripadvisor can map them). Then email him with a couple of suggestions from that list that look ok to you, and ask his opinion. That will make it clear that you're really not angling for a place to stay, and that you're resourceful enough to find a hotel, just wanting his input. Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 2 #44 November 10, 2012 It seems the best way to deal with your mom now might be to use a tactical diversion. Get her pissed about something else to distract her. Do you speak any Japanese? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
