metalslug 36 #26 December 15, 2006 Everyone farts, admit it or not. Kings fart, Queens fart. Edward Lear, the 19th century English landscape painter, wrote affectionately of a favorite Duchess who gave enormous dinner parties attended by the cream of society. One night she let out a ripper and quick as a flash she turned her gaze to her stoic butler, standing, as always, behind her. "Hawkins!" she cried, "Stop that!" "Certainly, your Grace," he replied with unhurried dignity, "Which way did it go?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #27 December 15, 2006 When i was in HS - a couple of friends and I were milling around next to the convienience store - we decided to start playing around and tickeling the girls . . . well that led to picking them up spinning them around and then switching partners - like dancing I guess, sort of - well, evidently I had a bit of pressure built up from the chili we ate . . . Brrrrrrrapapapaapap just as I sterted spinning around . . . she started laughing and I got embarrassed, so I did the only thing that was logical . . . I dropped her on her ass. Then they all laughed and pointed - now I am scarred for life.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #28 December 15, 2006 Farting in church is an art. Never just let one rip...always use the "Churchhouse Creeper" techniqueMy reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kenz 0 #29 December 15, 2006 dare i even ask what the "churchhouse creeper" is"life does throw curveballs sometimes but it doesn't mean we shouldn't still swing for the homerun" ~ me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #30 December 15, 2006 Quotedare i even ask what the "churchhouse creeper" is It's an immitation of how women fart.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ImGunnaJump 0 #31 December 15, 2006 When people start talking farty stuff, I always think of high school, 9th grade. I was in german class, and across the hall was the spanish class. All of a sudden we heard this loud, hysterical laughing that just went on and on. It went on so long and so loud that my german teacher felt she needed to go across the hall and say "What's goin' on...you all are disturbing us???!!". The flustered spanish teacher said "Sorry, we'll be quiet now". But for the rest of the hour we would hear these outbursts of hysterical laughter that would quickly die down - we couldn't figure out what could possibly be so funny, especially in spanish! Turns out the spanish teacher was at the board conjugating verbs when "ssssssppppfffftttt!" - she let out a long squealy one! The class fell to pieces. She was embarrased, as you can imagine, so when the laughter kept going on and on she thought, incorrectly, that it would help the situation to try to explain in away..."It's a biological function", "It happens to everyone", "Haven't you all ever broken wind, of course you have...Bob you do it all the time!". She didn't know how to leave well enough alone apparently. When the bell rang, everyone came falling out of that classroom laughing - my friends could hardly tell me what happened through the tears running down their faces. *If you're a teacher, DON'T fart in front of the class...squeeze those cheeks together, excuse yourself and run into the hall... whatever you have to do. And if you do, don't try to "explain" it to 9th graders!. At our ten year class reunion, my friends were still laughing. "...I've learned that while the "needs" in life are important (food, water, shelter), it's the "wants" in life (ice cream, chocolate, sex) that make it worth the effort." Kbordson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingJ 0 #32 December 15, 2006 5th grade. I let a silent one go just outside the classroom door and then proceeded to walk around the perimeter of the room to get to my desk. I never smelled a thing as I was walking away from it, but all of a sudden other students started freaking out. The teacher started getting a little mad at them, until she caught a whiff. She opened the window to start, but the decided it was time for an impromptu recess. It caught up to me after I got to my desk. That was a once in a lifetime smell. I don't know what they were feeding us in the lunchroom that day, but I often wish I knew so I could eat some before heading out to the dropzone so I can get some retribution on the plane!Killing threads since 2004. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrmedic 0 #33 December 17, 2006 Lordy, you people are KILLIN" me!!CYA!....up there Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gonzalesna 0 #34 December 8, 2011 Quote Ever notice how it's actually pleasant to smell your own farts? If I'm in the middle of my afternoon commute, and I rip one of those big, damn-near toxic farts that smells like rotten eggs mixed with dried-up citrus fruit, then I'll think to myself, "Cool!" and enjoy it. However, if somebody else were to do the same thing, I'd cringe. Is there an explanation for this phenomenon? Everyone likes their own brand!Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
