david3 0 #26 June 9, 2011 Quote Also had an Aunt tell me I had mental problems because I like to jump and speedfly. I hope you explained to her that your mental problems had nothing to do with skydiving and speedflying. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dzjunky77 0 #27 June 9, 2011 It was because I love both sports and she thought there was no reason to jump from a perfectly good plane. Get tired explaining myself to the family and why I love both sports! Just cutt ties with them! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hcsvader 1 #28 June 9, 2011 it is really sad to see how many of you say yes to this. While my family is not perfect they are still the best thing in my life. We may not be close emotionally, financially or physically. I know they are always there, even if it's only to offer kind words of support. You get to chose you own level of involvement. You cant financialy support the family member with a criminal drug habbit, however you should be there to give them a hug when they come out of rehab.Have you seen my pants? it"s a rough life, Livin' the dream >:) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NovaTTT 2 #29 June 9, 2011 Quote Also had an Aunt tell me I had mental problems because I like to jump and speedfly. Right . . . and your point is??? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yB7J7DYi6M "Even in a world where perfection is unattainable, there's still a difference between excellence and mediocrity." Gary73 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,444 #30 June 9, 2011 Quoteit is really sad to see how many of you say yes to this.What he said; this thread has made me feel very fortunate in just how nice the vast majority of my family is. I not only still talk to them, I like them. We get together -- and I'm including my in-laws and cousins in there, too, not just the siblings. Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Niki1 1 #31 June 9, 2011 Quote It's funny about those guilt trips. Often the most toxic member of a family is the most defended. "Oh, but he's such a nice guy." etc. I think that kind of treatment is a big part of why toxic people turn out that way. I've heard, "Oh, that's just the way he/she is." Well, that may be but I don't have to put up with it if I so choose. That's just the way I am. Take it or leave it. The other people defending the bad behavior is the enableing factor that has long since embedded tha bad behavior in them.Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done. Louis D Brandeis Where are we going and why are we in this basket? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 8 #32 June 9, 2011 QuoteYou get to chose you own level of involvement. You cant financialy support the family member with a criminal drug habbit, however you should be there to give them a hug when they come out of rehab. How about when they abandon you to live the life of booze and drugs, and haven't talked to you in the past 20 years except to ask for money every few years?"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zep 0 #33 June 9, 2011 Yes, after my parents passed away I cut all ties with my sisters , step sisters and all family members except chilren from previous marriges, I even went as far as to move to a different country to get away from them. That was twenty years ago and have never looked back. Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dzjunky77 0 #34 June 9, 2011 Basically what it is! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mccurley 1 #35 June 10, 2011 Yes and don't regret it one little bit.Watch my video Fat Women http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRWkEky8GoI Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #36 June 10, 2011 Do ex-wives count?My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 2 #37 June 10, 2011 Quote Do ex-wives count? They certainly do: your money. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #38 June 10, 2011 Yep. And having children made sticking with it much easier. No way I was letting this person cause havoc in my kids' life. It was easy to miss who he was. But I'd been missing that person for a decade when ties were cut, anyway. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JerryBaumchen 1,362 #39 June 10, 2011 Hi Andy, Quote They certainly do: your money. Last week I was over at my daughter's for dinner and the conversation turned to be about her mother ( my ex ) who just turned 65 that week and my daughter said that her mother would like to retire. So my daughter took her to the financial advisor that my daughter & her husband use. As my ex was discussing her financial situation it came up that she gets ~$1100 per month from me until one of us dies. Upon which, the advisor looked my ex right in the eye & said: "You do not want him to die." Guess I'm still worth something in her eyes; oh, make that her pocketbook. JerryBaumchen PS) It's rough typing with one finger in a splint. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Snowwhite 0 #40 June 11, 2011 Yes I have. And usually, I love EVERYBODY. It wasn't fun, it wasn't easy, and I never regretted it.skydiveTaylorville.org freefallbeth@yahoo.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #41 June 11, 2011 Yep, my step-sister. It was 14 years ago and my dad and his wife have tried many times to 'fix' it. No can do. Ran into her at a family wedding years ago, and I wanted to smash her head in like it was a watermelon. I don't like the word 'hate', so I will say I despise her with a passion. She over-stepped her boundaries after my brother died, and I will NEVER forgive her. No regrets. Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterblaster72 0 #42 June 11, 2011 QuoteQuoteit is really sad to see how many of you say yes to this.What he said; this thread has made me feel very fortunate in just how nice the vast majority of my family is. I not only still talk to them, I like them. We get together -- and I'm including my in-laws and cousins in there, too, not just the siblings. Wendy P. Consider yourself fortunate then -- most people in this thread don't have that kind of luck. I've completely cut off some cousins and it's certainly for the better, and I keep my pops and sister at a distance and see them when I need to. My mother, on the other hand, is a tremendous person and we talk at least a couple times a week. Be humble, ask questions, listen, learn, follow the golden rule, talk when necessary, and know when to shut the fuck up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #43 June 13, 2011 Quote Yep, my step-sister. It was 14 years ago and my dad and his wife have tried many times to 'fix' it. No can do. Ran into her at a family wedding years ago, and I wanted to smash her head in like it was a watermelon. I don't like the word 'hate', so I will say I despise her with a passion. She over-stepped her boundaries after my brother died, and I will NEVER forgive her. No regrets. I think despise means worse than hate. To me if you hate, despise, dislike someone, that means that you still think about them/care which means they still have the power over you. When cutting ties, cut the anger/thoughts of them too. If done properly, you care no more about what they say or do than one would a total stranger from that point forward.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #44 June 13, 2011 QuoteQuoteit is really sad to see how many of you say yes to this.What he said; this thread has made me feel very fortunate in just how nice the vast majority of my family is. I not only still talk to them, I like them. We get together -- and I'm including my in-laws and cousins in there, too, not just the siblings. Ditto. My mom drives me nutty sometimes, but I still very much enjoy (and value) the time I get to spend with her and my dad. My bro and I are very different people (and instead of squabbling constantly like we did as kids, we've accepted that as adults and - mostly - appreciate our differences). I didn't grow up near most of my cousins, but I have several of them as Facebook friends and got together with a bunch last time I was in the area where a lot of them live. Despite the fact that we differ on a number of key things (not least of which is religion), we keep the topics of conversation away from the stuff we disagree on and catch up on the stuff we do have in common and enjoy the family ties for what they are - a shared history. Come to think I've never really "cut anyone out of my life." I've taken a break from friendships that were approaching a level of toxicity that was uncomfortable (but that's only been a couple of them). Either the break has been a positive thing and I've been able to reenter the friendship and renew it (sometimes on different terms) or the break has made me (or them) realize that our lives are better lived apart from each other, and that's okay, too. I really can't think of anyone for whom I feel hatred, and I think to a large degree that's a personal decision to let the person and the ill will go away rather than keeping the anger inside so that it damages me more than it does them."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mjosparky 4 #46 June 14, 2011 QuoteDo ex-wives count? Hell I get along better with my ex wife than anyone in my family. Someday I just might post who my ex is, think it would surprise some. SparkyMy idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #47 June 14, 2011 Quote Someday I just might post who my ex is, think it would surprise some. Oooh, oooh, pick me, I know, I know. "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SarahC07 0 #48 June 14, 2011 I'm a little surprised at all of the YES responses. I'm also very grateful that my family (extended and immediate) members are generally pleasant people. Crazy perhaps but still, pleasant. It can not think of a single family member that I would consider cutting off ties with and there are a handful of them that just drive me absolutely crazy or frustrate me to no end. If your family isn't there to help you in a time of desperate need, who will be? And if the negativity associated with this particular family member is destroying you, maybe it would be beneficial to learn how to stay in control of how you feel about the situation / relationship. This thread reminds me of a quote: "Be kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #49 June 14, 2011 All the YES responses can be understood because only people who have cut someone off would bother to respond to this thread. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #50 June 14, 2011 Both birth parents. Father not by choice, but I only saw him once between my 6th birthday and his 30 years later. My mother was my choice, and I've seen her maybe half a dozen times since I was 13 years old, at family funerals, weddings, whatever. On the other hand I have a wonderful loving relationship with my "mom" and "dad" (technically my aunt and uncle). Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
