Deal Breaker???

[guppie01 0]

So, I have a co-worker of mine who recently got engaged. I asked him today if his lovely fiance is going to take his name.

His reply "ABSOLUTELY, and it would be a deal breaker if she wouldn't!" He was dead serious...

I find it sweet that he is traditional and all, but really... if you are in love with someone I find it hard to believe that not taking ones name would be a "deal breaker"

Thoughts...

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[NWFlyer 2]

If a guy said I didn't have a choice, that would be a deal-breaker for me. Buh-bye.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[pyrotech 0]

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So, I have a co-worker of mine who recently got engaged. I asked him today if his lovely fiance is going to take his name.

His reply "ABSOLUTELY, and it would be a deal breaker if she wouldn't!" He was dead serious...

I find it sweet that he is traditional and all, but really... if you are in love with someone I find it hard to believe that not taking ones name would be a "deal breaker"

Thoughts...

g

If a woman doesn't take the man's name...
it means SHE'S CHEATING ON HIM!

[kasch 0]

i used to think of it as a deal breaker. now i don't really give a shit anymore as long as she's good in bed and reasonably sane. so i vote boobies

Sex with sith is like sex with a stripper. A lot of flashing lights and waving of glowing sabers, but in the end you end up with something dark and wrinkely.

DPH# "-13"
TSK# "-13"

[SarahC07 0]

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If a guy said I didn't have a choice, that would be a deal-breaker for me. Buh-bye.

+1

Agreed.

[DrewEckhardt 0]

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So, I have a co-worker of mine who recently got engaged. I asked him today if his lovely fiance is going to take his name.

His reply "ABSOLUTELY, and it would be a deal breaker if she wouldn't!" He was dead serious...

I find it sweet that he is traditional and all, but really... if you are in love with someone I find it hard to believe that not taking ones name would be a "deal breaker"

Thoughts...

I figured a guy imposing his name on his wife was unfair so prior to getting married my wife and I considered a merged last name (none of which sounded good) and cross hyphenation (Mr Jones and Ms Smith would become Mr Jones-Smith and Mrs Smith-Jones). In the end we both agreed that keeping separate last names was simpler professionally and less hassle.

[JerseyShawn 0]

Sounds like the beginning of a controlling relationship if she's done with because she wont take on his last name.

Who wants to be forced to do something they don't want to.

Maybe they can find a last name they both agree on and get it legally changed.

[ridestrong 1]

NOT a deal breaker.... but I would hope she'd genuinely want to take my name. Besides, I don't have one of those wacky bad last names.

*I am not afraid of dying... I am afraid of missing life.*
----Disclaimer: I don't know shit about skydiving.----

[guppie01 0]

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If a guy said I didn't have a choice, that would be a deal-breaker for me. Buh-bye.

+1

Agreed.

+2

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[Shell666 0]

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If a guy said I didn't have a choice, that would be a deal-breaker for me. Buh-bye.

+1

Agreed.

+2

+3

I've had my last name WAY too long to change it (plus, I LIKE it!)! And at my age, if I had a new one, I'd probably forget what it was! Hell, I'm having enough trouble remembering what my new Jeep looks like in the parking lot!

'Shell

[shermanator 4]

Deal breaker, but she knew that early enough to run if she wanted. Not controlling, just traditional. How am I to take her under my robe of protection if she is not willing to let me. I think that not taking the last name is a strong statement by the woman "I don't take this seriously and it gives me an easy out if I decide I don't like him".

CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08
CSA #720

[NWFlyer 2]

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Deal breaker, but she knew that early enough to run if she wanted. Not controlling, just traditional. How am I to take her under my robe of protection if she is not willing to let me. I think that not taking the last name is a strong statement by the woman "I don't take this seriously and it gives me an easy out if I decide I don't like him".

Really? You think that the hassle factor of changing your name back is going to keep someone in a marriage?

I have no problem with women who choose to take their partner's name. I understand that there are many reasons why it's important to a couple, and don't judge anyone one way or the other for their choice. Taking it or not taking it isn't a massive deal to me - if I were getting married and my husband-to-be made a compelling case as to why it was important to him, then I might choose to change my name.

But the idea that I don't have a choice in the matter doesn't sit well with me. There are important reasons for me to want to keep my name, and those aren't trumped by a man's desire to "protect" me. Then again, I wouldn't be looking for protection in a marriage; I'd be looking for a partnership. I suppose in that sense maybe I'm not traditional at all.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[david3 0]

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Deal breaker, but she knew that early enough to run if she wanted. Not controlling, just traditional. How am I to take her under my robe of protection if she is not willing to let me. I think that not taking the last name is a strong statement by the woman "I don't take this seriously and it gives me an easy out if I decide I don't like him".

That seems a little insecure. How are you to take her under your robe of protection if you are that insecure?

[missbrz 0]

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Deal breaker, but she knew that early enough to run if she wanted. Not controlling, just traditional. How am I to take her under my robe of protection if she is not willing to let me. I think that not taking the last name is a strong statement by the woman "I don't take this seriously and it gives me an easy out if I decide I don't like him".

Robe of protection? Really? Seriously?????? I'm all for taking the guys name but if he thinks I need to be under his "robe of protection" THAT'S a deal breaker.

[jgoose71 0]

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Deal breaker, but she knew that early enough to run if she wanted. Not controlling, just traditional. How am I to take her under my robe of protection if she is not willing to let me. I think that not taking the last name is a strong statement by the woman "I don't take this seriously and it gives me an easy out if I decide I don't like him".

Robe of protection? Really? Seriously?????? I'm all for taking the guys name but if he thinks I need to be under his "robe of protection" THAT'S a deal breaker.

I know a guy that took his wife's last name. If your man was that, well, easily manipulated to someone else's will, would that be a deal breaker?

"There is an art, it says, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
Life, the Universe, and Everything

[missbrz 0]

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Deal breaker, but she knew that early enough to run if she wanted. Not controlling, just traditional. How am I to take her under my robe of protection if she is not willing to let me. I think that not taking the last name is a strong statement by the woman "I don't take this seriously and it gives me an easy out if I decide I don't like him".

Robe of protection? Really? Seriously?????? I'm all for taking the guys name but if he thinks I need to be under his "robe of protection" THAT'S a deal breaker.

I know a guy that took his wife's last name. If your man was that, well, easily manipulated to someone else's will, would that be a deal breaker?

How is taking someone else's name being manipulated? So every woman who has ever done it was manipulated?

Although I disagree with that part, yes being easily manipulated would be a deal breaker. I expect my man to be able to handle himself in the world. He shouldn't need my protection any more than I should need his. Love, support, encouragement yes; protection, hell no. I'm not some dainty little flower that needs coddling or protection from the big bad world, and most of the women I know don't need it either.

[skydiver30960 0]

Guppie: how does this guy play it at the office in other regards? Is he just puffing up his chest a little bit to keep up an air, or is he really a chauvinist in all regards?

Hard to judge I guy I don't know based on one spur of the moment comment.

Elvisio "but my watches suck, and don't even get me started about how I make cheese" Rodriguez

[NWFlyer 2]

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I know a guy that took his wife's last name. If your man was that, well, easily manipulated to someone else's will, would that be a deal breaker?

I know couples where each has kept their name.

I know couples who have both hyphenated both names.

I know couples where the wife has hyphenated her name and his name.

I know couples where the wife has taken the husband's name.

I know couples who have made up an entirely new name and both changed their name to that.

I don't actually know any men who have taken their wife's name (at least not that I know of, but there are people who I've met well after the marriage and I may not know their name story).

Whatever they choose ... is between the two of them, and none of those choices make me think more or less of either member of the couple. Period.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[Squeak 17]

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Deal breaker, but she knew that early enough to run if she wanted. Not controlling, just traditional. How am I to take her under my robe of protection if she is not willing to let me. I think that not taking the last name is a strong statement by the woman "I don't take this seriously and it gives me an easy out if I decide I don't like him".

Robe of protection? Really? Seriously?????? I'm all for taking the guys name but if he thinks I need to be under his "robe of protection" THAT'S a deal breaker.

Some people work under their religious protocols, their beliefs subscribe to particular ways of doing thing and stating them.
I have no issue either way. My wife carries both names, professionally she carries her maiden name, on her passport and DL my name. The name change was more for our traveling to regions where solo women travelers are frowned upon and married women are treat differently.

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[Arvoitus 1]

IMO it would be a deal breaker if she wanted one of those retarded hyphenated look-at-me-and-how-fucking-special-I-am names.

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Deal breaker, but she knew that early enough to run if she wanted. Not controlling, just traditional. How am I to take her under my robe of protection if she is not willing to let me. I think that not taking the last name is a strong statement by the woman "I don't take this seriously and it gives me an easy out if I decide I don't like him".

Considering how much of a raw deal marriage nowadays is for a man, the only way it might work is if you find a woman with conservative mind set to marry. And taking the mans last name is fairly good indicator of that, or refusing to take it is good indicator that you're gonna end up divorced.

I find it fairly ironic that, as an atheist, I find myself agreeing more and more with conservative Christians about marriage then with secular liberals.

Your rights end where my feelings begin.

[Snowwhite 0]

I figured a guy imposing his name on his wife was unfair so prior to getting married my wife and I considered a merged last name (none of which sounded good) and cross hyphenation (Mr Jones and Ms Smith would become Mr Jones-Smith and Mrs Smith-Jones). In the end we both agreed that keeping separate last names was simpler professionally and less hassle.

[skymama 37]

Based on how the sentence was phrased, I think he's going to control her in the marriage.

As for name changes, it is a PITA to change it! I had a maiden name, then married name one and married name two. Now, I'm going back to married name one. I think the solution is to just not get married anymore.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[shropshire 0]

I do hope that Mr & Mrs Ivor Smalldick have a wonderful life together

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[skybytch 273]

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I don't actually know any men who have taken their wife's name

I do know of a man who took his wife's last name - the son of a good friend of mine.

I intend to change my name if/when I get married - probably make my current last name the middle name (never did like my middle name anyway). But if my man told me that the wedding was off if I don't change my last name to his... well, I guess the wedding would be off, and damn, would I be thankful to have found out just how controlling he is prior to being legally attached to him.

It's my name. The only people who had a right to tell me what my name is are my parents, and that right expired when I turned 18.

[Butters 0]

I'm recently engaged. All I wanted was to have the same last name (not necessarily mine).

PS: I brought up changing our last names to something like Exciting so we could be Mr. and Mrs. Exciting ... she just rolled her eyes.

"That looks dangerous." Leopold Stotch