shah269 0 #151 March 2, 2011 QuoteI wonder how many times you have told us that you make 100k? Did everyone get that...he makes 100k. OMG!!! Just goes to show, money just makes you a bigger whatever you are. I think your not tracking what I'm saying. To PROVIDE for and have a comfortable life you really do need two incomes. Yes right now I make good money, but if there were two incomes we could put some away and have something nice to retire on. As such, a mail order wife....though a valid option is not one I'm comfortable with due to her possibly not having sufficient earnings to allow for a comfortable life which I wish to live. OK?Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #152 March 2, 2011 Quote You mean someone that cuts you off sexually and when you try to discuss it threatens to leave you then eventually does after you paid for her education? Rose colored glasses on your view of the past ya got there. We had 5 wonderful years together. The last two were not so good. 5/7 is not bad. She bought me my first bike ($1k). She was there for me when I had losses in my family and there for me when I broke my leg. All things aside, I'm very glad I had her in my life. I just wish it didn't end the way it did. But such is life right? Like the Johny Walker commercials say..."You have to keep walking."Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #153 March 2, 2011 QuoteQuoteI wonder how many times you have told us that you make 100k? Did everyone get that...he makes 100k. OMG!!! Just goes to show, money just makes you a bigger whatever you are. I think your not tracking what I'm saying. To PROVIDE for and have a comfortable life you really do need two incomes. Yes right now I make good money, but if there were two incomes we could put some away and have something nice to retire on. As such, a mail order wife....though a valid option is not one I'm comfortable with due to her possibly not having sufficient earnings to allow for a comfortable life which I wish to live. OK? I don't think you are tracking what I am saying. I'm saying you are making an ass out of yourself telling us over and over again how much money you make. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #154 March 2, 2011 Quote I'm saying you are making an ass out of yourself telling us over and over again how much money you make. And I'm saying though I do well it's not well enough to support another person so as to have sufficient funds left over for a saving or a retirement plan. As such the proposed option as noted regarding the procurement of a life mate who is not of the US is not a viable plan. Unless she has sufficient education or experience so as to obtain employment with sufficient compensation. Look I'll trade you! My condo eats $3k a month out of my wallet. And it's not that great a condo. It's just where I reside. It's nuts. But what can you do? You just keep waling right? You just keep moving and pushing and doing your best.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #155 March 2, 2011 I have to remove myself from this thread. I feel dumber having taken part in this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hfYJsQAhl0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #156 March 2, 2011 QuoteGod damn you are fucked up. For wanting to live a comfortable life? OK. I guess I am. I'll take it.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 800 #157 March 2, 2011 For being out of touch with the median American. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,991 #158 March 2, 2011 >And I'm saying though I do well it's not well enough to support another >person so as to have sufficient funds left over for a saving or a retirement >plan. I think one reason people are expressing exasperation is that you make, as a single guy, twice what the average US FAMILY makes and you're saying you have such serious money problems that you would need your girlfriend/wife to work. While it would surely be great to make more money, I would question whether you and your girlfriend really need to make three times the US average to have any chance at happiness. If you do - if you really do need to make a lot of money to be happy - then that's fine. But that's your choice; it's not some hardship that's been forced on you, and the alternating bragging/complaints get a little old. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #159 March 2, 2011 Quote For being out of touch with the median American. It's NJ man it's freaking nuts! A starter home here starts still to this day at $400k! I mean really! How sick is that! It's not right if you ask me but....that city that's only 40min drive from here is just a big money pump. My younger brother who lives 2 hours north of me in NY makes a bit less money and he was able to buy a new home for 75% of what I paid for my condo. And it's not a luxury condo. I guess the way I look at is this. Take the medium income of $45k, multiply it by two and that's what you need to live in NJ. It's wrong and puts a good deal of pressrure on good people. Makes decisions harder than they should be. But what can you do really? It's where the jobs are and I'm not about to drive an hour to an hour and a half to and from work every day. So.....So I wasn't trying to sound as if I have it figured out and am up to my tits in money. Take my income devided it in half, take away about $6k in taxes for the property and well..I'm no better off than most people. Buying my gear one piece at a time and saving up for jump tickets. But if you ever need a place to crash in NJ and are not allergic to cats....mi casa tu casa.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,991 #160 March 2, 2011 >A starter home here starts still to this day at $400k! Same here. But you can get a 30 year fixed mortgage on such a house for $2300 a month. So for $3K a month you're talking a very nice condo (or you got a very, very bad deal.) If it's really that bad, sell the condo and buy the starter house; you'll save $700 a month. >But what can you do really? It's where the jobs are and I'm not about to drive >an hour to an hour and a half to and from work every day. So take the train. I did it for a year. Worked on Wall Street, commuted 90 minutes each way via train. Shared a house with a friend on Long Island. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #161 March 2, 2011 $3k is mortgage + taxes + maintenance It's an ok condo, I had to work hard to make it look modern and feel close to what I wanted. And I didn't buy it for me. It was a place my X liked and I being "slow" had this "dumb" idea that if she was happy I would be happy as well.....yeah right! Train? My job is in NJ and well can't take a train. So I live 20 miles from work. I guess what I loose in income I make up for in the ability to have a life after work. I have friends who moved to PA and are now driving an hour + to get to work and well they are all on Lipator. Not a good place to be in your early 30's. But I'm sure if I were driving or training that distance I would be even more nutty since that would mean less time to go out and meet new people and be on even less dates.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 800 #162 March 2, 2011 People in America really live within their means?? WHAT???? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #163 March 2, 2011 Quote People in America really live within their means?? WHAT???? I was You know that extra income from the x wife was very nice! We were doing very well. Enough for us to save and still have money to pay for her education. Life was good. And it will be good again Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,991 #164 March 2, 2011 >$3k is mortgage + taxes + maintenance The $2300 I quoted was mortgage + taxes + HOA fees for a $400K house. (I assume you can do things like change light bulbs on your own.) >Train? My job is in NJ and well can't take a train. New Jersey Transit has eight separate trains that cover most of the New Jersey metropolitan area. Are you really not close to any of them? >I guess what I loose in income I make up for in the ability to have a life after work. That's fine. That's your choice. But again, complaining about that choice and saying it would be hard for two people to live on $100K a year is a bit . . . much. If you don't like spending that much, change how much you spend. If not, then be happy you have so much to spend. Most people don't. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #165 March 2, 2011 Bill The argument was, "A mail order wife (as implied as a joke) was not a viable option for me." That is to say me and just me I'm OK. Me + girl who stays at home and looks good...not OK. (two cars, clothes, food, other) Me + girl who has an education and works then life is goood And that's all it's about in the end. A good life What ever that turns out to be for each of us. (someone will be offended by this I have no idea how or why but someone will.) Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muffie 0 #166 March 2, 2011 Shah, Maybe the mail order option would work for you. Take the cost of dating the four or five women you're currently seeing and add it up over a year. Let's say 4 dates a week at $75 a date (this is NJ so I'm going a little higher on the per dinner cost) - $300 a week *52 weeks = $15,600. Not to mention any gifts, dating site costs, drinks for women who blow you off, clothes for going out, etc. When you factor in taxes, commuting costs, clothing costs, etc. it probably isn't that far off what a wife making $35,000 a year would bring home. Of course, this assumes that if you had a wife you'd stay in and cook meals more instead of hitting the town all the time. Just a thought... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #167 March 2, 2011 You know if you put it that way....Nah dating isn't expensive. And it's fun. See new people, get new ideas, make new contacts. The issue from page #1 was and still is...how does one keep that drive going so as to see new people, get new ideas and make new contacts to one day maybe bump into that peson that makes you smile? Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrewEckhardt 0 #168 March 2, 2011 Quote Quote For being out of touch with the median American. It's NJ man it's freaking nuts! A starter home here starts still to this day at $400k! [/QUOTE] That's fairly cheap. Around here 2 bedroom shacks are $800K and $400K won't buy a condo (unless you move to the 'wrong side of town' which used to have the nation's highest per-capita murder rate and still has crime problems). So my wife and I rented a ground floor one-bedroom apartment for $1200 and spent a few thousand renovating to get new floors, window coverings, and light fixtures. She also planted flower gardens in our front yard and herbs + other edibles like tomatillos on the side. One visiting family member can stay on a sofa bed and we pay for a hotel room for the rare times that two show up at once. Two people and a cat don't need much space, and I can't say I enjoy living any less than when we owned three bedroom town-homes in less expensive places. [QUOTE] But what can you do really? [/QUOTE] Get over the delusion that you need to own a house and/or move someplace with a less ideal job situation but lower cost of living. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #169 March 2, 2011 Well...there is that thing about being under water and not being able to "sell"....yet. So for now I'm stuck. And yeah it's too much for me but.....such is life. Things will get better life will get better Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #170 March 2, 2011 Quote So my wife and I rented a ground floor one-bedroom apartment for $1200 and spent a few thousand renovating to get new floors, window coverings, and light fixtures. You did all this to a rental? With your own money? I've fixed up rentals/made them livable before but always had a deal where I deducted anything I bought from my rent owed. Hope you have a long term lease or some sort of contract where they won't jack your rates/try and get you out so they can charge the next people more because you improved the place. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrewEckhardt 0 #171 March 3, 2011 Quote Quote So my wife and I rented a ground floor one-bedroom apartment for $1200 and spent a few thousand renovating to get new floors, window coverings, and light fixtures. You did all this to a rental? With your own money? Yes. Apartments which started out as nice as we ended up with were renting for $1500+ a month. The renovations paid for themselves before the end of our first year's lease. It also meant we were able to find an apartment in - most of the nice ones had no pets clauses. Quote Hope you have a long term lease or some sort of contract where they won't jack your rates/try and get you out so they can charge the next people more because you improved the place. We should have. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #172 March 15, 2011 eeeeehhhh....god don't you hate it when depression just reaches up out of the ground and grabs you by the spine...it sucks! Dating is just one bad job interview after another. All the BS games we all play...eeeeehhh. No wonder my friend just gave up one day and married the first girl who hit on him. Sure now he's thinking of offing himself NOW but I'm sure at the time it sounded like a splendid idea. "OH look here is a girl who is hitting on me and for once I don't have to do all the work. How bad can this turn out......?" Hell, at the moment I'm even starting to think "You know my x wife wasn't all bad...wasn't as if she used me and abused me toooo badly...." And I consider myself to be a rational human being. I guess in the end, some of us just loose our drive. We are climbing Everest, we lose "it", sit down and become a permanent feature on the mountain. A monument to all those that walk by. I need some air under my feet. My bones feel too heavy. Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
david3 0 #173 March 15, 2011 Quote eeeeehhhh....god don't you hate it when depression just reaches up out of the ground and grabs you by the spine...it sucks! Dating is just one bad job interview after another. All the BS games we all play...eeeeehhh. No wonder my friend just gave up one day and married the first girl who hit on him. Sure now he's thinking of offing himself NOW but I'm sure at the time it sounded like a splendid idea. "OH look here is a girl who is hitting on me and for once I don't have to do all the work. How bad can this turn out......?" Hell, at the moment I'm even starting to think "You know my x wife wasn't all bad...wasn't as if she used me and abused me toooo badly...." And I consider myself to be a rational human being. I guess in the end, some of us just loose our drive. We are climbing Everest, we lose "it", sit down and become a permanent feature on the mountain. A monument to all those that walk by. I need some air under my feet. My bones feel too heavy. If dating sucks, stop dating. You act like your only choice is, “dating sucks so I’m just going to settle for the first person that comes along”. How about you just stop dating, learn to enjoy being by yourself, stop being so desperate. All this has been said to you before and you will ignore it this time as well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 800 #174 March 15, 2011 Wait. Isn't this the guy living large and dating four women at the same time? WTF is there to be depressed about? Hell at this rate, you'll end up settling for a size 10 woman soon. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #175 March 15, 2011 Quote Hell at this rate, you'll end up settling for a size 10 woman soon. Yeah at any given time....4. I do my best to never have a quiet night...nothing worse than "quiet". But yeah, you are 100% right. I may just "give up" and sit. Better men then I have. And this is just year one of dating after 8 years off. I can only guess how bad years two or three or even 4 will be. Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
