anthonyfellows 0 #51 January 13, 2011 QuoteOh wow... Uranus sounds great. Does it do fisting too? Can I buy one that has a jerkoff mode?Serious relationships turn into work after a few weeks and I already got a fucking job :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ H.A.F. = Hard As Fuck ... Goddamn Amateurs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #52 January 13, 2011 Just count the number of lotion bottles in the recycling can. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #53 January 13, 2011 Quote Pssshhh.... Don't you use a ProsexTrack? When does it beep at you? "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anthonyfellows 0 #54 January 13, 2011 Quote Quote Pssshhh.... Don't you use a ProsexTrack? When does it beep at you? When he's getting close to cumming, so his female friends can punch him in the face to stop the orgasm. That reminds me of "Fucking and Punching" by Hank Moody :)Serious relationships turn into work after a few weeks and I already got a fucking job :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ H.A.F. = Hard As Fuck ... Goddamn Amateurs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wolfriverjoe 1,523 #55 January 13, 2011 Quote Quote Pssshhh.... Don't you use a ProsexTrack? ProsexTracks don't have all of the features I need. My Uranus doesn't just log number of partners, it also records and graphs positions used, time spent in the act, different holes engaged in the process, thrusts per minute and penis length. Wow. It didn't take very long for this thread to get ridiculous (I'm saying that in a complimetary way, BTW). Thanks for moving it, Skymamma, even if it was the women who came up with the best silliness. I'm dealing with a fairly large pile of shit this week and I needed the laugh. Thanks."There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy "~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #56 January 13, 2011 Quote Quote I was trying to imagine over 250 sex partners... Wouldn't you lose count? Doesn't everyone keep a second log book? "if she had as many pricks stickin' out of her as she had stuck in she'd be a porcupine" ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #57 January 13, 2011 Quote Quote Pssshhh.... Don't you use a ProsexTrack? ProsexTracks don't have all of the features I need. My Uranus doesn't just log number of partners, it also records and graphs positions used, time spent in the act, different holes engaged in the process, thrusts per minute and penis length. Your forgot to mention the GPS feature with Google maps uplink so you can plot your location and path. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davjohns 1 #58 January 14, 2011 I think the audible would go off when the woman is about to, so the man knows it is time to 'pull' at the same time. Just my thought.I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
karenmeal 0 #59 January 14, 2011 Can I interest you in a balloon? "Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stitch 0 #60 January 14, 2011 If the partners include sheep, then Clay has us all beat. "No cookies for you"- GFD "I don't think I like the sound of that" ~ MB65 Don't be a "Racer Hater" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
david3 0 #61 January 14, 2011 Quote Quote Pssshhh.... Don't you use a ProsexTrack? ProsexTracks don't have all of the features I need. My Uranus doesn't just log number of partners, it also records and graphs positions used, time spent in the act, different holes engaged in the process, thrusts per minute and penis length. I just need something that records solo hop n pops. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
karenmeal 0 #62 January 14, 2011 Don't worry. Since you don't have anyone to impress there are some decent low-tech options for you. http://www.paragear.com/templates/parachutes.asp?group=22&level=2&parent=6 "Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #63 January 14, 2011 Quote Can I interest you in a balloon? (Rubs shoulder and head) Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hcsvader 1 #64 January 14, 2011 Quote Quote I was trying to imagine over 250 sex partners... Wouldn't you lose count? Doesn't everyone keep a second log book? Asking for signatures can be a bit awkward sometimes.Have you seen my pants? it"s a rough life, Livin' the dream >:) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
david3 0 #65 January 14, 2011 Quote Doesn't everyone keep a second log book? Asking for signatures can be a bit awkward sometimes. Yeah but how else are you gonna find out what their name is? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #66 January 14, 2011 Quote Quote Doesn't everyone keep a second log book? Asking for signatures can be a bit awkward sometimes. Yeah but how else are you gonna find out what their name is? Once you have all your licenses and ratings, signatures aren't really needed anymore. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #67 January 14, 2011 Quote Quote Doesn't everyone keep a second log book? Asking for signatures can be a bit awkward sometimes. Yeah but how else are you gonna find out what their name is? Sometimes it's not good to know names. You get them confused later on and, for some odd reason, that always leads to problems. Call 'em all darlin' or baby or honeypot but never use real names. My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #68 January 14, 2011 Quote Quote Quote Doesn't everyone keep a second log book? Asking for signatures can be a bit awkward sometimes. Yeah but how else are you gonna find out what their name is? Sometimes it's not good to know names. You get them confused later on and, for some odd reason, that always leads to problems. Call 'em all darlin' or baby or honeypot but never use real names. and you speak of this authoritavely with only 0.5 miles!? join the petejohnes-fanclub! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
david3 0 #69 January 14, 2011 Quote Quote Quote Doesn't everyone keep a second log book? Asking for signatures can be a bit awkward sometimes. Yeah but how else are you gonna find out what their name is? Sometimes it's not good to know names. You get them confused later on and, for some odd reason, that always leads to problems. Call 'em all darlin' or baby or honeypot but never use real names. Okay Sweet Cheeks. . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davjohns 1 #70 January 14, 2011 Quote Quote Quote Quote Doesn't everyone keep a second log book? Asking for signatures can be a bit awkward sometimes. Yeah but how else are you gonna find out what their name is? Sometimes it's not good to know names. You get them confused later on and, for some odd reason, that always leads to problems. Call 'em all darlin' or baby or honeypot but never use real names. Okay Sweet Cheeks. . OWNED!I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 2,027 #71 January 14, 2011 So it's a repost:... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hcsvader 1 #72 January 16, 2011 Quote So it's a repost: Hahaha YES!Have you seen my pants? it"s a rough life, Livin' the dream >:) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #73 January 16, 2011 Quote Asking for signatures can be a bit awkward sometimes. Tell 'em it's a request from the Free Clinic. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kbordson 8 #74 January 16, 2011 Quote Quote Asking for signatures can be a bit awkward sometimes. Tell 'em it's a request from the Free Clinic. Or... that your lawyer mentioned that it would be better for defending the paternity suits if you had a proper documentation of the events of the night. Picture this: On Judge Judy today: Plaintiff - Poor sweet looking girl in a school girl outfit holding a 3mos old lil ankle biter. Defense - Skydiver with a computerized log "Your Honor, I argue that I can NOT be her baby-daddy. I have proof here in My Uranus. 1 year ago today, I was with [redacted name of hottie #1], [redacted name of hottie #2], [redacted name of hottie #3] and [redacted of hottie #4] - it was a GREAT WEEKEND AT [redacted name of dropzone]. You can clearly see that I was with the plaintiff approx 18 months ago and the prop didn't turn back to her again until 6 months ago.... when she would have been 12 w along. So instead of accusing me, I believe you should check HER Uranus." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #75 January 16, 2011 If she had used her Uranus, she wouldn't be pregnant anyway. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
