Body image & low self-esteem.. why??

[airtwardo 7]

...a fire watcher.

Ya get dental with that?

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[warpedskydiver 0]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3omQikQYmgY&feature=related

[lawrocket 3]

This thread got me thinking about another thread from years ago.

Here it is: http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=1015525#1015525

There is reality and there is media. In fact, there was recently a magazine in Europe that had covers of famous women without makeup.

There is practically no such thing as a real person in photographic media anymore. I've seen plenty of celebs in person. Pamela Anderson looks like an attractive woman who has partied way too much. Cameron Diaz looks good and gives hope to those with acne problems - in fact it just made her more alluring to see her so real.

Of course, there are those who just look fantastic. I met Heather Locklear once and she had SOME makeup on and, my goodness, she looked as good as she was tiny.

For the guys, yeah, it'd be nice to look like Hugh Jackman from Wolverine. Then again, it would be nice to have the time to work out like that. Getting ripped like that was his job. I'd love to have that physique, but since I leave for work by 7:00 a.m. and get home from work (last night at 7:30 p.m.) it would be impossible to maintain some form of orderly family life.

Thus, I can only be happy with me. I get workouts playing with my kids and working in the yard. And somehow I'm okay with that.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[airtwardo 7]

Of course, there are those who just look fantastic. I met Heather Locklear once and she had SOME makeup on and, my goodness, she looked as good as she was tiny.

[shah269 0]

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Tell everyone you're Zohan. I hear that works.

So...ahh you like da bush?

The image we have of ourselves from the inside never really matches what we see in the mirror. Be it for the better or for the worse.

And the way others respond to you either helps or hurts that inner conflict.

It's complicated, there is no real reason. Some of the most insecure people I ever met were the most gorgeous girls. They were outright mean to everyone but once you got past that.....oh the damage that existed...wow!

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[Nataly 38]

Wow everyone!! Some really fantastic responses - thank you
It's really very interesting to hear so many different points of view.

Someone (who shall remain nameless!) sent me a PM talking about how many people in the UK are overweight and ergo a seemingly reasonable conclusion might be that being overweight has become socially acceptable.

I think this is an interesting theory.

I have another one to propose.. If you look at countries that have had a lot of success in the recent 10 years or so, I'm sure you will find that the scales would indicate increase in body weight is correlated with increase in wealth. OK.. There's no way it's the only explanation.. But if you think about it, the more money you have, the more you can afford things that make you comfortable..

First come the necessities, like shelter, clothing, food (enough to sustain yourself). Then come the "niceties", like car, furniture, etc. Finally the "luxuries", such as jimmy choos, eating at fancy restaurants that charge $100 for a couple of leaves and a twig... Funny to note that the more comfortable a society, the more it treats food as a comfort as well.

Perhaps our society has experienced a bit of excess both in relation to finances and with our relationship to food.. And perhaps as a natural reaction to this excess our society has come to be hyper-critical of physical appearance?? As in, it's a defense mechanism to counter the "unnatural" way we live in too much comfort??

What do people think?


Edit to say: This still wouldn't really explain why the target mainly seems to be women, though...

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[JohnMitchell 16]

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This still wouldn't really explain why the target mainly seems to be women, though...

Because men are judged by their ability to provide . . .

[happythoughts 0]

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This still wouldn't really explain why the target mainly seems to be women, though...

Because men are judged by their ability to provide . . .

...and hair.

"I'm not just the president of the Hair Club for Men, I'm a client."

[chiquita24 0]

I have another one to propose.. If you look at countries that have had a lot of success in the recent 10 years or so, I'm sure you will find that the scales would indicate increase in body weight is correlated with increase in wealth. OK.. There's no way it's the only explanation.. But if you think about it, the more money you have, the more you can afford things that make you comfortable..

[Nataly 38]

[hungarianchick 0]

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I have yet to meet a Persian guy who doesn't look in the mirror at least 5 times a day. Where it comes from?

Check out Xerxes in 300...

Seriously, I never cared what people thought of me, neither did I compare myself to some sort of 'idea' of a what a woman should look like. However I admit it has changed somewhat as I got older, but throwing myself into my work and keeping busy with things I care about kind of takes your mind of such superficial things as looks. I eat healthy, I exercise, I stay out of the sun and I dress well but I'm not obsessed with something I can't fundamentally change.

"I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food."

[kbordson 8]

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I'll likely post more later, once others have given other opinions and insights... but right now.....

no answers.

Still no "answers" but recent posts on bonfire made me think about this thread again.

What is "beauty" as it applies to "body image" and "self esteem"? "Self worth"? "Confidence"?

The ANSWER is different for each and every person - what criteria you chose to use; what parameters you see as marks; what is "good"

I found this book: Body Work: Beauty and Self-Image in American Culture.
I like how the author broke the topic into the chapters they chose:
Chapter 1 "The Hair Salon: Social Class, Power and Ideal Beauty";
Chapter 2 "Aerobics: Neutralizing the Body and Renegotiating the Self";
Chapter 3 "Cosmetic Surgery: Paying for your Beauty";
Chapter 4 "NAAFA: Reinterpreting the Fat Body"

When you try to value yourself using others opinions, then you become one of their "dolls." (Not that I don't like The Dollhouse, but a PERSON is much more than that two dimensional beautiful mask) When it comes to physical appearance, "we" really place way too much emphasis on others view of ourselves and it seems to be polarized. Are you a beautiful doll who tries to be her/his best or an ugly face that only deserves pity?
When you consider health and athleticism, "we" are competitive beasts. Skill levels are compared to others. Intelligence is graded on the IQ. Personality is judged by "normal" and DSM 5 diagnosis.

It's too easy to rank yourself next to others. To listen to their critiques and criticisms. To believe that you're NOT as worthy as you truly are.

It's REALLY REALLY hard to silence those voices.

Maybe "beauty" is simply ... being.

[Roxxx 0]

Men are visual and women respond to it... primal

WEll, some 'people' have a visual/shallow view; only see the top of the river...