rivetgeek 0 #26 July 31, 2009 My 100 pound black lab name Sammy is totally convinced she is a tiny lap dog and will try to jump into you lap/arms when she wants attention. My cat thinks Sammy is a giant walking scratching post.~Bones Knit, blood clots, glory is forever, and chicks dig scars.~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hungarianchick 0 #27 July 31, 2009 Quote Our older cat believes the new cat was brought in to make his life miserable. We have a similar situation. Our first cat thinks she owns us and nobody else supposed to set foot in our house. Her new brother is sweet and innocent and thinks that all cats are like him "I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guppie01 0 #28 July 31, 2009 My youngest cat believes that the louder he howls the quicker his food will come. He also believes that if he stands in the middle of the room and howls we will come running. My oldest believes that the bed belongs to him, and he is KING! g"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #29 July 31, 2009 QuoteMy dog is an atheist. The cat is inscrutable; he refuses to say.Are you sure your dog isn't a "dislexic agnostic insomiac" you know lying up at night wondering if he or she really does exist... honestly I'm not entirely sure what Karma believes... I know she hates thunderstorms... and believes she should be in the bed with us when they're passing through the area... she is also strange in that when only one of us is home she'd rather be downstairs (on the sofa) if we're upstairs... or vis-a-vis if I'm downstairs she'd rather be upstairs (on her bed which is beside our bed)... but if we're both home she wants to be in the same place as us...Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #30 July 31, 2009 QuoteOr the best is when he needs to go out in the middle of the night he will just stare at me, while i am asleep. It on occasion does work as I have woke up feeling like something is staring at me only to find his face in mine with that OHMIGOD I GOTTA PEE look.Karma has learned how to wake me up in the middle of the night without barking (because despite my efforts I could never teach her to do that...) she has learned that shaking her ears and running into/along side the bottom of the bed is effective at waking me up...Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
downwardspiral 0 #31 July 31, 2009 My brother's cat thinks I have magic handswww.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pokerstar 0 #32 July 31, 2009 Sammie believes she can monitor what I say on DZ.Com with just a look. Bugsy believes he is the star of all photos, and acts accordingly. He also believes it's ok to eat my fingertips.Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug, uh, regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber. --- The Dude --- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #33 July 31, 2009 The dog believes I am god and the benevolent provider of treats and dog food and am to be worshiped adoringly. The cat believes that I stand between him and the cat food and jealously ration the catnip, and he would murder all of us humans in our sleep if only he could figure out how to work a can opener. As he cannot work the can opener, he settles for biting my toes when I am sleeping as a subtle reminder of the havoc he could wreak if he really wanted to. And then he purrs and pretends to be a sweet kitty, hoping I will forget that he's up to something. He then attempts to remind me that cats are superior to dogs, and far more intelligent, because after all, you've never seen a team of cats get roped into pulling a sled, have you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fossg 0 #34 August 1, 2009 My dogs believe their human and my cats believe they own me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #35 August 1, 2009 My pets believe in nozzing; Zey are nihilists. "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lauraliscious 0 #36 August 1, 2009 My dog also believes she can talk (she is VERY vocal!), that our 8 year old nephew is another puppy for her to play with, and that EVERYONE (dog and human) is her friend. Enemiga Rodriguez, PMS #369, OrFun #25, Team Dirty Sanchez #116, Pelt Head #29, Muff #4091 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pokerstar 0 #37 August 1, 2009 Quote My pets believe in nozzing; Zey are nihilists. That must be exhausting! Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug, uh, regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber. --- The Dude --- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #38 January 3, 2011 My cats believe that all cans contain catfood. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Croc 0 #39 January 3, 2011 Our cat Bunny believes that anyone who comes to our house has come to see her. Our cat Danny believes that anyone who comes to our house has come to eat him. Our cockatiel Rosie believes that anyone who comes to our house should leave immediately."Here's a good specimen of my own wisdom. Something is so, except when it isn't so." Charles Fort, commenting on the many contradictions of astronomy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #40 January 3, 2011 My cat believes that laps are for cats, regardless of whether there is already a laptop occupying that space. My cat believes that all closed doors must be hiding the secrets of the universe behind them and must be explored if any chance is offered to get them open. My cat believes that my ass is small enough that both it and a 17-lb cat can simultaneously occupy the same office chair. While I am flattered, this is not strictly true, at least not with any level of comfort for me."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 3,006 #41 January 3, 2011 That there will always be four bones. (Bonus points if anyone gets that reference.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MikeJD 0 #42 January 4, 2011 Quote My cats believe that all cans contain catfood. Unless they're picky cats, they are right! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meso 38 #43 January 4, 2011 My one dog used to be convinced that things only exist in shadow form. If it wasn't a shadow it wasn't worth chasing. Other dog used to (both deceased) believe that it is madness to lay down without crossing his front paws. Currently both of our small dogs think they're a lot more intimidating than they are. And that it's not weird at all to chase a bird and then run away crying when it squawks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #44 January 4, 2011 James (cat) thinks all the girls who walk into the house are his girlfriends and will protect them as if he were a 200lb jungle cat. But is he is always worried about me so he believes he has to taste everything I make to make sure it's good for me. Vera (his sister) assoicates food with love and is a total slut. But she thinks I'm not a bad guy as long as I feed her whenever she screams and yells from the kitchen.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #45 January 4, 2011 QuoteJames (cat) thinks all the girls who walk into the house are his girlfriends and will protect them as if he were a 200lb jungle cat. But is he is always worried about me so he believes he has to taste everything I make to make sure it's good for me. Vera (his sister) assoicates food with love and is a total slut. But she thinks I'm not a bad guy as long as I feed when ever she screams and yells from the kitchen. Have you been banging the cat? I don't think that qualifies as pussy. This has been a Public Service Announcement. Now back to the normal bullshit. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nigel99 501 #46 January 4, 2011 The pet rabbit is buddhist, and the gerbils are catholic as they do midnight mass Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,456 #47 January 4, 2011 Felix and Bubba believe that there is something really interesting inside of nearly everything in the house; they've learned how to open cabinet doors (and eat the little rubber bumpers that keep them from banging), and how to get in the way of the refrigerator. All small objects are toys, and they all get lost. We haven't found the stash yet, but when we do, there'll be several toys and at least 3 vacuum-seal reusable wine corks Wendy P. There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #48 January 4, 2011 Two dogs~ Sassy believes the refrigerator is a magical hot dog dispenser that 'should' reward her with a chilly yummy treat for various tricks performed throughout the day...whether there is an actual human audience or not, and bangs on, then barks at the fridge door when nothing is forthcoming in my absence. Sometimes the security cam footage is hilarious! Sugar-Bear believes Sassy is a complete idiot, and looks upon her with the contempt only wisdom can create. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #49 January 4, 2011 Tyson (GSD) believes everything on this planet belongs to him. He thinks all other dogs are good playmates but subordinate to him (classic German Shepherd thinking) Beauty thinks she is cat-dog, able to do all that a cat can do. She also thinks that she must cuddle as close as physically possible to me when it is time for bed. She loves to snuggle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meux 0 #50 January 4, 2011 Bo believes that the stinkier the thing that he rolls in, the better I like it. He hasn't connected bath time with this yet. i.e. roll in stinky stuff, get an immediate bath. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
