Creepy or not?

[skymama 37]

I've been going to a new pain management doctor for a couple months, a total of about 4 visits so far. At the end of every appointment, even after the first one, he puts his arms out to give me a big ol' hug. Now, I'm as huggy as the next person with my friends and family, but my doctor doing this creeps me out a little! What do you think? Would you be ok with your doctor doing that?

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[BillyVance 34]

He's crossing the line. Not very professional, so yeah, it looks creepy.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[blacklabjumper 0]

No I would not be OK with that even if it was a female Dr. thats is way creepy to me. Matbe Brandon (aka wildcard) can give us his professional opinion. But definitely creepy. My .02

Rodriguez Brother #1626
Dudiest Skydiver #1962
DPH #-2

[kasch 0]

Yea I agree, that's not professional. Now I mean if he was your doctor for 30 years and you were moving to another coast I could see a goodbye hug. But thats just weird.

Sex with sith is like sex with a stripper. A lot of flashing lights and waving of glowing sabers, but in the end you end up with something dark and wrinkely.

DPH# "-13"
TSK# "-13"

[Jewels 0]

Yeah, that's a little too personal for a real sense of professionalism. Being friendly is nice enough, but without some sort of personal relationship to back it up, it just seems like the good doctor is a little too zealous in his bedside manner. It could be completely innocent, but . . . yeah. A handshake would work.

TPM Sister #102

[Thanatos340 1]

Depends, A Chick Doctor with a nice rack?? Hell Yea. Bring it.

An Ugly Bald Fat Proctologist (Or pretty much any male doctor)?? Not so much.

Maybe he thinks it is part of the therapy. Sometimes a Hug can help with Pain Management.

[ryoder 1,590]

Quote

I've been going to a new pain management doctor for a couple months, a total of about 4 visits so far. At the end of every appointment, even after the first one, he puts his arms out to give me a big ol' hug. Now, I'm as huggy as the next person with my friends and family, but my doctor doing this creeps me out a little! What do you think? Would you be ok with your doctor doing that?

Well, my doctor is a 6' slender 30-something female...so sure...I'll give it a shot.(Hope her husband doesn't mind.)

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[normiss 798]

Can I punch him for you?

Not cool, unprofessional and crosses the line.

[kasch 0]

wtf i haven't had a female doctor since i was 11. i'm sick of dudes fondling my sack once a year.

Sex with sith is like sex with a stripper. A lot of flashing lights and waving of glowing sabers, but in the end you end up with something dark and wrinkely.

DPH# "-13"
TSK# "-13"

[shropshire 0]

Quote

wtf i haven't had a female doctor since i was 11. i'm sick of dudes fondling my sack once a year.

Keep going back tho, hey?

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[wildcard451 0]

Quote

No I would not be OK with that even if it was a female Dr. thats is way creepy to me. Matbe Brandon (aka wildcard) can give us his professional opinion. But definitely creepy. My .02

Well - it depends. If it making you uncomfortable, then it falls into the creepy realm. We spend our days dealing with a vast range of people and personality types. We have to tailor our words and actions to each patient. I don't talk to a 45 year old banker the same way I talk to a 17 year old for a sports physical.
I have had patients that I took over at my residency practice that expected me to pray with them at the end of the visit, because that is what the attending I was taking over for would do with them.
Bottom line is this -- he honestly may not feel that he is doing anything wrong, based on his view of the world. From a professional standpoint, if it makes the patient uncomfortable then it is crossing the border into being unprofessional.

I would speak to the physician at your next visit and let him know that the hugging does not make you comfortable. That should be the end of it. If he still tries to hug you, then that is creepy and should actually be considered reportable to the state medical board. Unwanted touching, especially when verbalized by a patient, if definitely crossing the line.

[kasch 0]

Quote

Keep going back tho, hey?

hmph. touche'

Sex with sith is like sex with a stripper. A lot of flashing lights and waving of glowing sabers, but in the end you end up with something dark and wrinkely.

DPH# "-13"
TSK# "-13"

[BillyVance 34]

Quote

Quote

wtf i haven't had a female doctor since i was 11. i'm sick of dudes fondling my sack once a year.

Keep going back tho, hey?

BAM!

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Andy9o8 2]

He was just checking your thoracic spine for subluxations. God, people are so suspicious these days.

[wildcard451 0]

Quote

Quote

Keep going back tho, hey?

hmph. touche'

I cannot tell you how many of my friends that are not in medicine love to give me shit over the fact that I have to do genital and rectal exams.

Although, my gf and I have it backwards - I've grabbed more junk than she ever will. She's had her hands in more hoo-hah than I ever will.....but she's a Labor and Delivery nurse.

[kasch 0]

Quote

I cannot tell you how many of my friends that are not in medicine love to give me shit over the fact that I have to do genital and rectal exams.

Although, my gf and I have it backwards - I've grabbed more junk than she ever will. She's had her hands in more hoo-hah than I ever will.....but she's a Labor and Delivery nurse.

LOL before you said she was a nurse I was shaking my head thinking "crazy f-ing skydivers"

Sex with sith is like sex with a stripper. A lot of flashing lights and waving of glowing sabers, but in the end you end up with something dark and wrinkely.

DPH# "-13"
TSK# "-13"

[d_squared431 0]

Skymama,

I would tell him if I were you, you will kick is stethoscope in if he continues to make inappropriate advances towards you.

TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1
I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH
You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly

[TriGirl 318]

I had a female doctor for my last surgery. She looked at me like I was an abused stray puppy; always showing WAY too much sympathy for stress/anxiety that I didn't have; and yeah, hugged me every time. I think that was her way of showing support. There's a reason I forbade my mother from coming down to "help" after the surgery -- I don't being smothered by anyone, even my mom! You can bet I was uncomfortable with the doctor doing it.

See the upside, and always wear your parachute! -- Christopher Titus

Shut Up & Jump!

[airdvr 210]

Quote

I've been going to a new pain management doctor for a couple months, a total of about 4 visits so far. At the end of every appointment, even after the first one, he puts his arms out to give me a big ol' hug. Now, I'm as huggy as the next person with my friends and family, but my doctor doing this creeps me out a little! What do you think? Would you be ok with your doctor doing that?

Let's see...I remember your submission to the Name That Rack thread so...yes...I would try to hug you too.

Seriously...if you're not comfortable with it then it's not cool.

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[happythoughts 0]

Based on my semi-pro status in the medical field, I'd say it's ok.
This has never been a problem when playing a doctor in bars.

[skyflower_bloom 0]

sorry 1 hand typing..

if you are not cool w it, its inappropriate. period. tell him politely/assertively (or sneak away at the end passive aggressively, teehee)

it's tougher w/ male docs.. has he made you uncomfortable in other ways or made comments? is he single/married?

i always hug/ged my midwife (female obv.) and my current male pain mgmt and various other GP stuff-doc who has really gone out of his way for me (i drive3+ hours to see him, if that says anything, he's worth it and one of my favorite people in the world) and during an appt we'll often talk for up to an hour.. he is married and i've never gotten inappropriate vibes from him.
neither of these situations feels odd to me.

that said, dep. on the gender, nature and length of the visits, rapport between you, and reciprocity and how you feel about it-- it could definitely be creepy too. you have to figure out how you feel.

one thing- is he older? some older men (not to generalize)- doctors to skydiving instructors and all in between lol, just that generation maybe, or some men in it? would treat man with professionalism but women (in same context) with a more condescending attitude- i.e. calling "hunny" "sweetie" when barely know you or it is clearly unprofessional, unwanted physical touch (hugs etc.) so could this be it?? harmless intent-- but still BS to be called out!

i can see a dr. hugging a pt. for many non-creepy reasons, provide comfort, rapport, support, etc. especially if you feel you have a friendship above the doc-patient relationship or going thru rough times.

that said in a normal context- i.e. occasional visit, med check, whatever.. if no special bond or connection btwn you, and if nothing too traumatic is being discussed- possibly a creepiness factor there.

i didn't officially vote cause i think it varies, don't know the circumstances, but i sure don't think this should be/is standard practice for all docs!

bottom line you pay for his services, and if you are uncomfortable i think it may be worth bringing up calmly/assertively.. good luck!

blues,
robyn

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

[normiss 798]

Good Lord woman, all that with ONE hand?

[d_squared431 0]

Quote

Good Lord woman, all that with ONE hand?

I was thinking the same thing..


i have a hard enough time typing with two hands, just ask anyone.

TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1
I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH
You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

Good Lord woman, all that with ONE hand?

I've never made it more than 6 lines when typing with
one hand...

[LadyDoc 0]

I don't hug my patients. I may put my hand on their forearm or shoulder... I spend a good length of time with my patients too, 20-30 minutes or so on average. If a patient approaches me for a hug, I do the whole one-armed, mostly side-of-my-body approach, as to not let them think anything different than I'm just happy they are feeling better. Granted, most of my patients are female patients who are much older, mean age 85 or so? So, they are all like my grandma, and they are some of the sweetest little ladies. but still, there are so many out there who are a little too happy about trying to sue, it's just best to keep a little distance.
Just approach him and just tell him you are uncomfortable. in ANY relationship, whether it is doctor-patient, siblings, significant others, the key is communication.

If you disbelieve everything because we cannot certainly know all things, we shall do much-what as wisely as he would not use his legs, but sit still and perish because he had no wings to fly.-JL