sick nursery rhymes re. F&M

[SpeedRacer 1]

Someone emailed me this.
From George Reilly>
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Mary had a little lamb
She called it baby Abby
They burned it in a great big pit
Cos its mouth and feet were scabby
Mary had a little lamb,
she called him Little Ralph,
But now he's burning in a field
Because of foot and mouth.
Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where they're located
But Tony Blair
Has said "fair's fair
If they're burnt she'll be compensated"
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Watching her livestock burn
When along came a vet
Who confiscated her pet
Will fairytale folk ever learn?
Mary's pigs had foot and mouth 'This crisis', cried she, 'Needs tackling
'Now all I've got is one black field
'And fourteen tons of
crackling....
Speed Racer
"Blue Skies, Red eyes, Sore thighs!"

[BillyVance 34]

bump.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[DSE 5]

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick,
Jack jump over the candlestick.

Jack weren't nimble
and Jack weren't quick.
Now Jack has a french-fried di**

####
Old mother hubbard went to the cupboard to get dear Rover a bone.
When she bent over dear Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own...

George Carlin was a funny guy.

[Squeak 17]

Quote

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick,
Jack jump over the candlestick.

Jack weren't nimble
and Jack weren't quick.
Now Jack has a french-fried di**

####
Old mother hubbard went to the cupboard to get dear Rover a bone.
When she bent over dear Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own...

George Carlin was a funny guy.

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick,
Jack jumped over the candlestick.

Tha candle stick was made of glass
and Jack be nimble split his arse

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[wolfriverjoe 1,523]

Quote

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick,
Jack jump over the candlestick.

Jack weren't nimble
and Jack weren't quick.
Now Jack has a french-fried di**

####
Old mother hubbard went to the cupboard to get dear Rover a bone.
When she bent over dear Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own...

George Carlin was a funny guy.

Little Boy Blew....




He needed the money!!

Andrew "Dice" Clay

I don't know about the first one, but the "Old Mother Hubbard" was the "Diceman" too. (although he may have stolen it from Carlin)

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[Bolas 5]

The Dice man...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWzI_Wn0ZwM&feature=related

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[jumpoutnow 0]

Row, row, row your boat.
I licked my own ass.
The End.

People are crazy. Cuz there's more of 'em.

[metalslug 36]

Jack and Jill went up the hill
They each had a penny and a quarter
Jill came down with half a crown
Do you think they went for water ?


(Old english currency: 5 pennies = 1 crown)

[popsjumper 2]

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
and sat down beside her
She beat it to death with her spoon

Hickory Dickory Dock
Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
The rest escaped with minor injuries




Why am I having 4th-grade memories now?

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[futuredivot 0]

Quote

Why am I having 4th-grade memories now?

It's natural. We all hold a certain fondness for our senior year.

You are only as strong as the prey you devour

[Lastchance 0]

Jack and Jill went up the hill
With 50 cents apiece
Jill came down with a dollar
And Jack was glad he brought her.

I may be getting old but I got to see all the cool bands.

[millertime24 8]

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun
But the bitch forgot her pill
And now they have a son

Muff #5048

[turtlespeed 226]

Quote

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick,
Jack jump over the candlestick.

Jack weren't nimble
and Jack weren't quick.
Now Jack has a french-fried di**

####
Old mother hubbard went to the cupboard to get dear Rover a bone.
When she bent over dear Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own...

George Carlin was a funny guy.

Yes he was - But Andrew Dice Clay STILL IS.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[freefal 0]

I'm surprised no one has mentioned "The man from Nantucket..."

Here's another one instead...
There was a gay caveman named Roy,
Who befriended a guy named Leroy.
Leroy didn't care
'bout being dragged by his hair,
But the club up his a$$ was no joy.

And...
There was a man from the blue grass,
Who had two balls made of brass,
And in bad weather he'd rub them together,
'Til lighting shot out of his a$$.

"Ignorance is bliss" and "Patience is a virtue"... So if you're stupid and don't mind waiting around for a while, I guess you can have a pretty good life!

[stitch 0]

You might wanna read the forum rules. Just say'in.

"No cookies for you"- GFD
"I don't think I like the sound of that" ~ MB65
Don't be a "Racer Hater"

[freefal 0]

Jeese, really?
These are nursury ryhmes so they could all be considered bad according to how you read the rules.
I went ahead an edited it from "boy" to "Leroy" just to make everyone happy.

Here's two more:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall ,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
And his winter wasn't bad either.


Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
… Pies, you moron!

"Ignorance is bliss" and "Patience is a virtue"... So if you're stupid and don't mind waiting around for a while, I guess you can have a pretty good life!

[popsjumper 2]

Quote

Jeese, really?
These are nursury ryhmes so they could all be considered bad according to how you read the rules.
I went ahead an edited it from "boy" to "Leroy" just to make everyone happy.

Knowing Stitch, he was talking about the caveman reference.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[wishnstar611 0]

Here's another Jack and Jill one....

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana
Jack got high and unzipped his fly and asked Jill if she wanna
Jill said yes unzipped her dress
They did some hanky panky
Stupid Jill forgot her pill and out came little Franky

....oh the fun things you learn at summer camp as a kid

[Gene03 0]

Quote

bump.

Nice.

You bored tonight?

“The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec quotes (Polish writer, poet and satirist 1906-1966)