skyrider 0 #1 January 4, 2010 BY: Fuzzy Duffy Source: thespoof.com Pennsylvania - ~Three Reported Missing After Animal Rights Activists Take "War on Leather" to Motorcycle Gang Rally.~ Johnstown, PA: Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials. "Something just went wrong," said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. "Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong." The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, "growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats," decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event "in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats." "In fact," said the organizer. "Motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it... Ergo, they should stop." According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960's era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting "you're murderers" to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began. "They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!" "I... I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket. And, he... he didn't even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, 'You can't prove that.' Next thing I know is he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and not left me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman." Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers "farted on their heads." Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed "surprise" at the allegations. "That's preposterous," said on high ranking member of the biker organizing committee. "We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome." When confronted with the allegations of force feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the organizer declined to comment in detail. "That's just our secret handshake," assured the organizer. http://bn.obworld.com/linkouts/linkout.cfm?lurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Ethespoof%2Ecom%2Fnews%2Fspoof%2Ecfm%3Fheadline%3Ds2i66233 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skycop 0 #2 January 4, 2010 The horror..................the horror......... "Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andrewwhyte 1 #3 January 4, 2010 Quote I called him a murderer, and all he said was, 'You can't prove that.' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gonzalesna 0 #4 January 4, 2010 Quote Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials. how are 2 people duct taped inside SEVERAL fast food restaurant dumpsters? Did the bikers separate them into more managable pieces or something? Don't they understand how warm leather is on cold days? (Especially when you hand cut it off the animal's freshly dead body.) They only do it to help stay warm.Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pontiacgtp00 0 #5 January 4, 2010 QuoteBY: Fuzzy Duffy Source: thespoof.com Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers "farted on their heads." LOL!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
captain1976 0 #6 January 4, 2010 Quote Quote Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials. how are 2 people duct taped inside SEVERAL fast food restaurant dumpsters? Did the bikers separate them into more managable pieces or something? Don't they understand how warm leather is on cold days? (Especially when you hand cut it off the animal's freshly dead body.) They only do it to help stay warm. Actually throwing the bodies in a freezer is much easier and not as messy. You simply cut up the pieces once frozen and then put them into the dumpster.You live more in the few minutes of skydiving than many people live in their lifetime Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xbasejumperz 0 #7 January 4, 2010 Quote Quote Quote Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials. how are 2 people duct taped inside SEVERAL fast food restaurant dumpsters? Did the bikers separate them into more managable pieces or something? Don't they understand how warm leather is on cold days? (Especially when you hand cut it off the animal's freshly dead body.) They only do it to help stay warm. Actually throwing the bodies in a freezer is much easier and not as messy. You simply cut up the pieces once frozen and then put them into the dumpster. You ever try to cut up a frozen body? It aint as easy as you think! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #8 January 4, 2010 You obviously have never tried or you would not be saying this. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkeenan 14 #9 January 4, 2010 QuoteYou ever try to cut up a frozen body? It aint as easy as you think! Chainsaw._____________________________________ Dude, you are so awesome... Can I be on your ash jump ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhys 0 #10 January 4, 2010 QuoteChainsaw. Uh uh, bansaw!"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will see peace." - 'Jimi' Hendrix Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xbasejumperz 0 #11 January 4, 2010 Quote You obviously have never tried or you would not be saying this. One word for you Randall - Statute of Limitations. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Glitch 0 #12 January 4, 2010 Quote One word for you Randall - Statute of Limitations. umm.... even I can count to three. Randomly f'n thingies up since before I was born... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #13 January 4, 2010 Cordless Sawzall Because you are not always near an electrical outlet Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airdvr 210 #14 January 4, 2010 Quote Quote You obviously have never tried or you would not be saying this. One word for you Randall - Statute of Limitations. What does a french gift in New York harbor have to do with this? Please don't dent the planet. Destinations by Roxanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,990 #15 January 4, 2010 >bansaw! Is that a saw used by Banesura on unruly bottoms or something? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,439 #16 January 4, 2010 QuotebansawI thought it's what the greenies use to remove offensive posts before banning the poster Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #17 January 4, 2010 "They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!" At lotta DZ's I know of...THAT costs extra! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
captain1976 0 #18 January 5, 2010 QuoteCordless Sawzall Because you are not always near an electrical outlet Its always good to plan ahead for such events. Just like in the movie Casino, its best to have a hole pre-dug just in case. You never know when an emergency will arise and a nice secluded place with power and plenty of privacy is a wise idea. Of course you will want to keep it to yourself forever.You live more in the few minutes of skydiving than many people live in their lifetime Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ridestrong 1 #19 January 5, 2010 Quote>bansaw! Is that a saw used by Banesura on unruly bottoms or something? Where has she been lately???*I am not afraid of dying... I am afraid of missing life.* ----Disclaimer: I don't know shit about skydiving.---- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #20 January 5, 2010 A pre-dug hole? That takes all the fun out of it. Keep a full scale mold of Michaelangelo's David and a supply of Plaster of Paris. You start by cutting the hippie's hair and hosing him down. Place body in mold and pour in plaster. Allow to cure. Take a boat out and drop it in the ocean/lake. If found, news of a major archaeological find will alert you of need for countermeasures. Disposing of bodies is an art. Make it really artful!!! My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ridestrong 1 #21 January 5, 2010 slit the stomach so the body won't float...*I am not afraid of dying... I am afraid of missing life.* ----Disclaimer: I don't know shit about skydiving.---- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #22 January 5, 2010 Plastic matress covers from Wal-Mart are a clean car's best friend! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
