Walk of Shame - Hall of fame

[banesanura 1]

ooh. lets hear the stories of the day after.

I've got a good one...

Went to a few clubs in Chicago to celebrate a friends birthday. Went to an after hours place, got so shit faced as I was dancing on those cube things I blacked out and fell right off of it. Ripping my pencil skirt in two. Midst falling off the dancing cube I broke my phone, lost my debit card, and spent all my cash. The club closed at 5am and I only had a few buck stashed away for a cab.

With no phone, 5am, no cash and no where to sleep I decided the best place was to crash at the train station revolving door.

There were other homeless people sleeping. I was awaken at 7 am by train security and had walked to my train home, holding my skirt together, as it ripped down the seam.

It was the longest train ride of my life, but I made it home okay.

Best Girl Scout Ever.

[virgin-burner 1]

did u distribute free blowjobs to the homeless guys!?

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[BillyVance 34]

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did u distribute free blowjobs to the homeless guys!?

She was passed out. No telling what may have happened.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Cheach 0]

Awesome story. Loved that you admitted it. The worst I think for me was getting alcohol poisoning and blacking out...apparently throwing up in my car. My "date" cleaned it out right then and there. Drove my car home. He said I tried to sleep in the yard...I guess we made it in and I set the alarm behind me. He had to go wake up my mom to have her unset the alarm so he could get out. I would feel bad...but he turned out to be ca-razy.

I woke up next to a blowup doll Ash....so what do you think?

[Baksteen 84]

When I was young.. er, younger and was enjoying the student's night life in Belfast, this girl walks up to me and asks whether I 'wanna have a good time'.

Well, either she has been under the OP's tutelage (or vice-versa), or our opinions of a 'Good Time' simply differ naturally - because before I could even move a muscle or (thankfully) open my mouth to reply, she hurled up a good stomachfull of who knows what kind of lady-drink was fashionable at the time all over me.

It was a mere two km walk home, the route never quite seemed so long, what with all the contemptuous stares I was getting along the way...and I hadn't even finished my first beer yet
Needless to say I made a beeline for the shower and didn't even stop to take off my shoes...

Another disgusting story was in the same year when *I* was the one who was hammered. Since I was despite everything the most articulate person left in our group at that moment, it fell to me to hail a cab as what would have been a ten minute walk in normal condition would given the circumstances be very hard to accomplish indeed.

Soon, one of those cheapo cabs that run in Belfast pulled up and I stuck my head into the window to discuss the fare. In doing so, my nostrils found themselves assailed by the cabby's cheap air freshener (or something) and before I knew it I was hurling up a large Zinger Tower Burger menu all over the passenger seat.
Cursing, the cabby made to exit his vehicle, but somehow we all managed to make ourselves scarce, even the most inebriated people in the group.
I got separated from the rest, more or less walked home and was fast asleep before the others came staggering up the stairs of our studen't residence.

"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

[madhatter 0]

Drunken party and I hit it off with a girl. Ended up having sex in what I learnt was her cousin's room - when she walked in on us ] She screamed & ran out, after which I remember one more guy coming in to check out her story.

Apparently I missed out on the other 20 folks who opened the door to have a peek...

Rejoining the party afterwards was awkward, to say the least

A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!
D.S # 125

[BillyVance 34]

I have two Walk of Shame stories.

First one, I was in college and sharing an apt with a roommate. We got a big bottle of Peach Schnapps. Poured round after round of that stuff until the bottle was empty, and we were wanting more, but the only stuff we had left was a bottle of cheap crap rum. So, poured shot after shot of that shit and slammed them all down. All told, we consumed probably 20 shots each. My roommate, being bigger than I am, wasn't as drunk as I was, so I had to rely on his memory on what unfolded next. I had to go pee bad, and stumbled into the bathroom to the toilet, and grabbed the towel rack on the wall to steady myself, and promptly ripped it off the wall when I collapsed on the floor! I was able to get back up and pee, though the next day there was piss all over the toilet and floor around it.

Anyway, I made it back to the living room but by that point I could barely stand and was crawling around on the floor. My roommate thought it would be hilarious to whack me with a couch pillow repeatedly. That asshole...

Well, all the booze was gone, and I was about ready to go to bed, and somehow my roommate and I raced each other up the stairs, and let me tell you, that was worse than the roller derby! We knocked the stair railing off its mount in the process. I don't know how we managed not to fall back down the stairs.

Anyway, I can remember diving into my waterbed and being out like a light. The next morning I felt myself being shaken and I tried to fight off whatever it was because I wanted to stay asleep, but my roommate would not give up. Finally I sat up in bed and he's yelling at me to go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. So I get up and stagger there. Peering into the mirror, a look of horror and fascination dawned on my face. My face and hair was caked with the previous day's meals in an upward pattern. Apparently I puked in bed face-up while passed out. Stunk up the entire bedroom. Had to open the windows, strip the sheets off the bed, drain the water mattress and clean out the puke that dribbled down between the mattress and the wooden frame.

To this day, more than 20 years later, I have not touched a drop of either liquor. I tried a couple of times to smell the aroma of Peach Schnapps from the bottle and it almost made me gag.

The other incident, which I've chronicled on here before, was for a celebration of a friend who was killed on a skydive after a canopy collision with me. I was messed up in the head over that but all his friends still welcomed me and we all went out to a restaurant for dinner after the memorial jump was done. I had 4 beers with dinner, and then someone started ordering round after round of tequila, the Cuervo brand for the whole party, some 20 of us. I had I think 3 or 4 shots, maybe 5.

Luckily I got a ride to the restaurant instead of taking my car. I remember having a really good buzz at the time we all left the restaurant to go back to the DZ. I get in the back seat passenger side of a friend's car, and a few minutes into the ride, I blacked out. I woke up when we got to the DZ.

I learned later that, I let loose a good solid stream of puke into the floor of the car behind the passenger front seat, just barely missing the head of the girl who was passed out in the front seat in a reclining position. The driver, Carla, asked Matt, who was sitting behind her "what's Billy doing back there?" Matt replied "you don't wanna know, and can you please roll down all the windows?"

Carla told me years later that she never got rid of the stench in her car and ended up having to sell it a few months later. Lucky for me she was a good sport about it. But god man, that was embarrassing for me.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Baksteen 84]

Ah.. tequila.

That brings back memories

"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

[BillyVance 34]

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Ah.. tequila.

That brings back memories

Yeah, I have not drank Tequila straight like that since. Only in mixed drinks.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[LisaH 0]

I've never blacked out or puked. Wet my pants a few times though, trying to get to the bathroom.

Be yourself!
MooOOooOoo

[warpedskydiver 0]

I was really drunk and ready to leave a singles bar near my home.

Before I could get outside and start up my bike, I was approached by the official bar hag (not bad looking my unclean as the week is long) everyone including the scum nailed her nightly.

I looked at her and because I had just chugged the rest of the pitcher of Little Kings Cream Ale I suddenly hurled the entire contents of my stomach in her face.

To my surprise she said are you sure you don't want to go home with me?

[Baksteen 84]

Disclaimer:that story has got nothing to do with me... I wasn't a bar hag and don't know Warped...furthermore I'm a guy.

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Yeah, I have not drank Tequila straight like that since. Only in mixed drinks.

Well.. my friends have kept even mixed drinks away from me until after we all graduated...

"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

[d_squared431 0]

I was 17 at my then boyfriends house drinking te-killa with his roommate. His friend and I finished the bottle that night along with a few beers and pickle juice. I wont share the whole story but it involved ta-killa. Lets just say I have never ever been so embarrassed than I was that next morning. Still to this day I have not lived that night down.

TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1
I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH
You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly

[guppie01 0]

my first wedding
family feud
too much to drink
veil entangled in a tampon machine
passed out

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[Brains 2]

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my first wedding
family fued
too much to drink
veil entangled in a tampon machine
passed out

g

I think you win!

Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you.

[Andy9o8 2]

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my first wedding
family feud
too much to drink
veil entangled in a tampon machine
passed out

I Googled "veil entangled in a tampon machine" to see if it was plagiarized from a haiku book. It wasn't. My compliments.

Gia's haiku

[Cheach 0]

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Ah.. tequila.

That brings back memories

Yes. This was the culprit in the aforementioned alcohol poisoning.

I woke up next to a blowup doll Ash....so what do you think?

[jumpwally 0]

Aww c'mon tell us more, you don't have to feel embarrassed ! You'll never meet 99%of us....

smile, be nice, enjoy life
FB # - 1083

[futuredivot 0]

My last night out ended up as a sig line

You are only as strong as the prey you devour

[fossg 0]

Wow That sounds like a winner to me..

[npgraphicdesign 3]

Best buddy's wedding last August...we've known each other for 25 years now, and go all the way back to Russia when we were 5. He got married last August, and it was a small wedding at a Russian restaurant, 45 people at most. His family have known me for 25 years, and they said they've never seen him or myself more drunk.

1. At one point, I went outside to lay on the stone banister surrounding the restaurant deck. I fell asleep, and woke up to find my arms crossed and a bouquet of white lillies on my chest. Still don't know who did that, and noone had a camera handy to get proof!!!
2. I ...um..regurgitated quite a bit of liquor afterwards...right in the flowerbed of my friend's condominium. Next morning, he gets home with his wife and, as soon as he walks in the front door, says 'hey we saw your signature downstairs'. That focker!

BUT!!!...He threw up in the limo on the way to their hotel suite...into the box that had all the gifts. Luckily, his wife had the semi-presence of mind to dump all the gifts out on the floor of the limo just as he was letting go.

PS. I guarantee that you will NEVER see this amount of liquor served at ANY 'traditional' wedding. Russian people know how to throw wedding, parties, and supplement ANY occasion with plenty of alcohol.

PPS. Luckily, I did my best man speech before I was drunk as a skunk.

[lippy 918]

We were bored as shit and had 2 bottles of whiskey and a couple of Lady Bic's.

The 3 whitest guys in Ojeda, Venezuela walking around bald as cue-balls. The next morning when we came downstairs in the staff house the cleaning lady, who was like our Venezuelan mother, almost started crying.

This photo was taken right after the deed was done, before we sobered up enough to realize it was a bad idea

I got nuthin

[freefal 0]

There were a few drunken tales I won't soon forget from my college days, but the best "walk of shame" story involved one of my friends who always seemed to end up with a different woman in his bed. Sometimes the bottle got the best of him (or perhaps he just didn’t care) and his "conquests" were not necessarily the cream of the crop so to speak. One morning while several of us were sitting around the front room piecing together parts of the night before, our Don Juan buddy comes strolling through the room with a particularly un-attractive lady. (I’m not typically one to judge, but this poor girl had been whooped with the ugly stick a few extra times. She had braces, thick glasses, crazy bed head and just an all around “whoa!” kind of look.) As they briskly walked through the room and out the front door a hush fell over our group and by the time the door finally shut behind them the room was silent.

Then Don Juan’s roommate spoke up and said… “Wow, he usually takes the those out the back door.”

"Ignorance is bliss" and "Patience is a virtue"... So if you're stupid and don't mind waiting around for a while, I guess you can have a pretty good life!