How do you poop when you're outside? (also, website about poop)

[SpeedRacer 1]

what position do you use?

I'm planning on doing some long distance hiking & find squatting in the woods to poop kind of awkward.

I found this website entirely devoted to pooping:
http://www.poopreport.com/ what will they think of next.

link to positions:
http://www.chopstork.com/blog/2006/08/27/my-first-backpacking-trip/

Speed Racer
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[Andy0689 0]

I've done my share of pooping in the woods and find that the squat, although awkward, is the best position for a good dump. When you can, crap in your buddy's coffee mug or cooking pot. Either that or dig deep.

Andy
I'll believe it when I see it on YouTube!

[Lokhmaty 0]

http://www.amazon.com/How-Shit-Woods-Environmentally-Approach/dp/0898156270

[skybytch 273]

Speaking as one who must squat every time nature calls - logs and rocks make handy backrests. Squat low. Think of it as a yoga pose

Speaking as a gram weenie backpacker - you don't need a poop shovel. Sticks work just fine. Use the weight you save for Wet Ones. Seriously. Clean butt and pits = happy backpacker.

[SpeedRacer 1]

here's a post about pooping in the winter time from whiteblaze.net (a website for appalachian trail hikers)

  Quote

WINTER ALERT!
This important information came out of my last backpacking trip report and concerns the not-so-elusive turtlehead:

THE VIOLENT TURTLEHEAD
So wouldn't you know it but the first order of business after setting up the tent was to go off the ridge a bit and scrape out a hole to homebirth an angry and violent turtlehead. The newborn came in at 6.8 pounds, fiesty with a fully functioning arm and hand as it reached out and tripped me up as I was walking away. And I heard a muffled chortle right before I fell.

The normal non-Inuit turtlehead hates winter backpacking and the backpackers who do it, because said turds regularly go from 100 degrees to zero(atop snow no less), in about one nano(nanal?)second--they hardly have time to survey their new kingdom before they are frozen solid. A completely frozen turtlehead though still lives and woe be the idiot who picks up what seems to be a hard, solid woodlike object only later to find it to be, when thawed, a steaming, angry and pissed off human turd.

It's not a reptile, a frisbee or a polished chunk of knotwood, it's a now breathing, pulsating, unburied turtlehead, the worst kind. If discovered, drop immeditately and call no one. Never shove soiled hands down into pants as the smell of a foreign turtlehead will elicit your own contained turtlehead to emerge from hiding to investigae in fighting form and possibly wanting intimate congress or abrutly posturing itself in a fight or flight response. If you have an alpha turtlehead buried in your shorts, be prepared for an all-out fight to the death.

On the other hand, the flight reponse will drive your own turtlehead deeper and higher into your body, possibly up into your chest cavity or throat. Good luck. All this can be avoided by not backpacking in the winter, and if you do pick up a frozen turtlehead by mistake, don't be around when it thaws.

Speed Racer
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[pincheck 0]

  Quote

Speaking as one who must squat every time nature calls - logs and rocks make handy backrests. Squat low. Think of it as a yoga pose

Speaking as a gram weenie backpacker - you don't need a poop shovel. Sticks work just fine. Use the weight you save for Wet Ones. Seriously. Clean butt and pits = happy backpacker.

isn't that the truth

Billy-Sonic Haggis Flickr-Fun

[FlyingJ 0]

My knees don't take too well to the typical squat, so I try to find something to rest a cheek on. Makes for a MUCH more comfortable experience, plus you can get your legs out in front of you to make sure you don't drop one of the kids down the leg of your pants bunched up beneath you.

If you are on a hill, I HIGHLY suggest making sure you have something substantial to hold on to. Last time I tried we were cutting firelines on the side of a hill that fire had gone through the summer before. I searched for as long as I could for a substantial handhold to support my weight while I squatted and eventually had to settle for a less than perfect little tree. It held pretty well for a minute or two, but then right in the middle of gettin' it done it snapped. I had just enough time to think "jump!" before launching myself backwards so I didn't land in it and proceeded to tumble 15 feet down the hill with my pants around my ankles. A couple other guys on the crew witnessed it and are probably still laughing. I will say though, my quick thinking allowed me to launch myself over the mess. Boy that would have been a shitty day!

Killing threads since 2004.

[Bolas 5]

Had to less than a month ago as the water busted at the cabin I was staying at after we had eaten barbacue and beans while drinking heavily.

Scouted an area away from the house
Away from the neighbors too
Off a trail
On a hill
Sit fly position
Left my contribution exposed
Used a stick to cover the TP
Nearly puked from the smell

As a kid used to camp alot over weekends. Generally used to just hold it if no facilities around.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[jonstark 8]

Not sure I can adequately describe the machinations required to poop while climbing a big wall like El Cap in Yosemite but imagine... Take a chaise lounge like you might sunbathe in next to a pool. Attach it to the side of a cliff so that one long side is against the wall and it is level to lay down on for rest at night. This is the size of a "Porta-ledge" typically used in a multi-day ascent where natural ledges are not available. You gotta carry out your waste rather than leave it behind or letting it fly to splatter on climbers or the wall below. Squatting is nearly impossible so kneeling is the ticket. Problem is you gotta catch your poop in a suitable container. Try a medium lunch bag, the brown paper kind. Some go directly into the bag while others opt to lay it on a piece of paper than transfer that into the bag. Whatever, it needs to go into the "poop tube". This is either a kayaker's dry bag or a PVC contraption of tubing with screw on caps and suitable tether for hauling up with you. The dry bag is thrown away while the tube is dumped and taken to the car wash for re-use. Anyways... ever try to poop while kneeling and catching it in a paper bag? You gotta pee first. For safety sake you better catch what is left when you try to poop in that Chef Boy-Ar-Dee can in your trash or you might end up sleeping on a pee soaked ledge.

Hiking and pooping is a breeze. Please consider hauling out your waste though.

jon

[grimmie 186]

Make sure you know poison ivy and oak before you tree lean for support.

[skybytch 273]

  Quote

Left my contribution exposed
Used a stick to cover the TP

Poor form. Dig a small cathole - 6-8 inches deep, deposit poo, cover hole. Take TP to a trash can - leaving it out there, covered or not, is just icky.

[fossg 0]

Make sure you know poison ivy and oak before you tree lean for support - I learned this the hard way at a lovely piece of real estate called Ft. Polk.

[Misternatural 0]

Well
I spend lots of time in the woods away from plumbing and toilet paper SO
Here is the procedure.... search for good wiping material like ferns, leaves (non poisonous), or moss - but not sphagnum moss, it harbors nasty organisms which can give you an ass rash,in the winter use a snow ball. Scope out a good spot, pull down the skivvies and grab onto a sturdy sapling and assume the sit fly position. make your contribution and wipe with said wiping material.
DONT slip off of the tree or forget where you went cuz then you'll be wearing it.

Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires.
D S #3.1415

[SpeedRacer 1]

I'm going to try the standard "asian squat" method, since it seems to work for like half the world. You push your pants down just past your knees so that all material is on your lower legs, then do a full squat (hamstrings against calves) & poop. supposedly it is actually better for your colon than sitting, & voids more completely so there's less wiping. and if it's been working for half the world, there must be somthing to it.

Speed Racer
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[1888 0]

This book has been removed from the Book Club shelf

Close How to Shit in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art
Kathleen Meyer
(17 reviews )
Find in a library near you

[lauraliscious 0]

  Quote

Had to less than a month ago as the water busted at the cabin I was staying at after we had eaten barbacue and beans while drinking heavily.

Scouted an area away from the house
Away from the neighbors too
Off a trail
On a hill
Sit fly position
Left my contribution exposed
Used a stick to cover the TP
Nearly puked from the smell

As a kid used to camp alot over weekends. Generally used to just hold it if no facilities around.

EWWWWWWWWWW, I did NOT need to know that!!!!

Enemiga Rodriguez, PMS #369, OrFun #25, Team Dirty Sanchez #116, Pelt Head #29, Muff #4091

[lauraliscious 0]

  Quote

I'm going to try the standard "asian squat" method, since it seems to work for like half the world. You push your pants down just past your knees so that all material is on your lower legs, then do a full squat (hamstrings against calves) & poop. supposedly it is actually better for your colon than sitting, & voids more completely so there's less wiping. and if it's been working for half the world, there must be somthing to it.

I spent a month in Tanzania and most of the toilets were holes in the ground. I used this method you describe and it works great. Just make sure the hole is deep enough.

Enemiga Rodriguez, PMS #369, OrFun #25, Team Dirty Sanchez #116, Pelt Head #29, Muff #4091

[jumpingjunkie09 0]

I've never had occasion to poop in the great outdoors, and I plan on keeping it that way!!!


.....also, I'm pretty sure I would be able to hold it!

I am "ROGUE" (III Degree Smutsketeer)
Official "poster above you" thread starter

"And don't forget we like men with balls and no needle dicks. So, basically, you're out." ~LuckyMcSwervy

[DJL 235]

Find a tree that fell down and has some big splitting branches coming off of it to make a good toilet seat.

"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

[FlyingJ 0]

This whole topic reminded me of last summer. I was detailed to some fires in west Texas and had gotten a hold of some bad food. Needless to say, I spent more than my fair share of time finding a place to go squat. During our debrief that evening someone commented that "Jason spent so much time with his pants around his ankles he's got sunburn on his knees!". It took us about 20 minutes to recover.

Everyone should give it a try at least once. There is no feeling like dropping a big one with a slight breeze across the backside.

Killing threads since 2004.

[JohnRich 4]

Here's my procedure. I'm a veteran of hundreds of outdoor poops.

- Dig hole.
- Squat. If you can find something to hold onto for support, all the better.
- Drop your business.
- Wipe and throw paper in hole.
- Use cigarette lighter to burn paper in hole.
- Cover poop and ashes with dirt.
- If available, put a large rock over the spot, to prevent animal digging, and other hikers from discovering your business.

No one else here has mentioned burning their paper. It keeps it from being dug up by animals and spread all over the countryside, spoiling the environment. I keep the lighter in a plastic zip-lock bag along with my roll of paper. Don't burn down the woods.

I've got to make a poop tube for some upcoming trips, where park rules no longer allow crapping along the river. I'm a virgin on poop tubes. I'm thinking of a 4" diameter section of PVC pipe with a cap on each end, about two feet long. Should be good for week-long canoe trips. I'm hearing the trick is to poop onto a large coffee filter, then pick that up and drop it into the tube. Anyone with poop tube advice?

[skyrider 0]

I never thought about burning the paper, Great idea, Even better than knowing it is Bio degradable, takes months)

But generally speaking, when I gotta Go....there aint time for no Hole digging, fuck, I am lucky to get my pants off some times!

[d_squared431 0]

I have done a lot of day hikes and a few over nighters. I prefer the rock and or tree method to lean against. I am not a fan of the squat unless that is a last result.

Everyone should poop in the woods at least once in their life. Get out there and poop people...

TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1
I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH
You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly

[hungarianchick 0]

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.....also, I'm pretty sure I would be able to hold it!

Hello constipation, hello diverticulosis! Seriously, pooping outside once in a while won't kill you

"I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food."

[JohnRich 4]

  Quote

But generally speaking, when I gotta Go....there aint time for no Hole digging, fuck, I am lucky to get my pants off some times!

Yes, sometimes it's like that. But you can always dig a hole afterwards, and then push the poop into the hole with a stick to complete the clean-up job properly.