Dealing with heartbreak...how do you do it?

[Nataly 38]

I think whether you say something or not, the end result will most likely affect the way you feel and not the other way around. I say this because the fact that you've loved her for 3 or so years means that she probably knows how you feel by now. If she's a really good friend, telling her shouldn't really change anything. At the same time.. would it achieve anything??

Hard to tell.. Whatever you do, the pain will subside over time.. You just need to find a way to move on - that's the hardest part.

I think someone has already mentioned therapy.. Talking to someone can really help.

And wine.. Copious amounts of wine!!!

You'll be ok - hang in there.

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[shah269 0]

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Till then enjoy the video
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/helen_fisher_studies_the_brain_in_love.html

Watched it all the way through, good video. It's great when all the magical mysteries of the way we function are unraveled. Everything in this universe can be explained.

All I can say to the OP...people come...people go.

Sad isn't it. When we can define love as a chemical equation or a electrical impulse in our brains....what is there to live for? Not that love, lust and passion are any less desirable. But it would have been nice if there were a bit of mystery to it.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[Andy9o8 2]

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You said you didn't talk for three months. Go another three months. Then another.

I agree strongly. If you keep trying to keep her in your life - seeing her, talking to her, whatever - all you're going to do is torture yourself. And stagnate your emotions, as well as the progress of your life.

I've been where you are (before getting married). But know this: it really is possible to fall deeply, truly in love with more than one person in your lifetime. Sometimes the best tonic for being in love with someone who's slipped from your grasp is to let it happen again with someone else. Just don't let the next one slip from your grasp.

[Bolas 5]

Once again all life's answers can be found in The Onion...

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/but_if_we_started_dating_it

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[OlympiaStoica 0]

There is no easy way to get over heart break – if you’re looking for someone to prescribe a magic formula, you are going to be disappointed.

We all have our own different ways of dealing with heart ache. Personally, I tend to take a break from the world. I spend time alone and try to regain a sense of balance. The last time I had a major disappointment, I took up a new hobby – skydiving
O

[Zep 0]

I watched the video and found it interesting, but it leads to other questions.
How does the brain tell the diffence between love and infatuation, or is infatuation a form of love gone wrong.
Over the last few weeks I've been trying to answer this question and can't find a answer.

Gone fishing

[shah269 0]

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I watched the video and found it interesting, but it leads to other questions.
How does the brain tell the diffence between love and infatuation, or is infatuation a form of love gone wrong.
Over the last few weeks I've been trying to answer this question and can't find a answer.

I guess it's the difference between having a drink and being hooked on crack?
Just depends on how her chemicals get you going?

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[ntrprnr 0]

Swim/Bike/Run.

Runner's high cures a lot of heartache for me.

a LOT of heartache.

_______________
"Why'd you track away at 7,000 feet?"
"Even in freefall, I have commitment issues."

[SimpleJack 0]

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You screwed the pooch, brother. Live with it and move on. You deserve this pain. I don't wish this on you, but you deserve it. A lot of us guys have fucked up like this. You are not alone.

I wouldn’t say anyone deserves to feel pain, especially if they lacked the life experience to avoid such a dilemma.

Almost everybody has had to deal with the dreaded “one-sided” infatuation. It is the most painful thing anyone could go through but it’s not your fault unless you let it happen again.

You may not realize this but we have so much more control over our feelings & emotions than you realize. You are letting your infatuation control you. In this sense, it really is your fault that you can’t let go of this fantasy life you have built up in your mind. It isn’t real. It never was. You never had anything with this girl. Otherwise, she would have hooked up with you a long time ago.

There is an incredible sound bite from Tom Leykis on Youtube that I would really like you to listen to. It should be required listening material for all men.

This talk radio host is reading a letter sent to him from a guy named Larry who allowed a girl (whom he had a crush on) sleep at his house where she proceeded to break his heart by sleeping with his roommate! Listen to Tom Leykis’s response. It will blow you away.

Women aren’t stupid. If they like you, they will let you know. Trust me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzMrUc6e204&feature=related

[nanook 1]

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I wouldn’t say anyone deserves to feel pain, especially if they lacked the life experience to avoid such a dilemma.

Well, definitely not in a "ha ha, you screwed up" kind of way. But i'm pretty sure he doesn't lack the life experience anymore.

_____________________________

"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

[JohnMitchell 16]

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I found the best way to "get over" them was to "get under someone else".

Worked like a freakin' charm - the sexy times were great.

You Rock. Great advice.

To the OP: You snooze, you lose. You should've let her know how you felt a long time ago. Like Olympia said above, too, if women are into you, they'll let you know. If they are not, they love having you for a friend. It certainly sucks going through what you're going through. I've said it before, though, and I'll say it again. A big fat "thanks" to every woman that ever dumped me. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have met Vskydiver.

So look on the bright side. You're a free agent again. I'm sure there are hundreds of women out there that could captivate you. If you feel like they wouldn't like you or want to be with you, maybe examine your own life, and see what you need to improve. Good luck.

[Cheach 0]

Live and learn...then screw someone else.

In reality there are plenty of people out there....get to sampling.

I woke up next to a blowup doll Ash....so what do you think?

[LuckyMcSwervy 0]

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I found the best way to "get over" them was to "get under someone else".

Worked like a freakin' charm - the sexy times were great.

You Rock. Great advice.


Thanks. I figured I was going to get flamed for that.

Always be kinder than you feel.

[fantomas08 0]

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I found the best way to "get over" them was to "get under someone else".

Worked like a freakin' charm - the sexy times were great.

You Rock. Great advice.


Thanks. I figured I was going to get flamed for that.

Definitely not flamed...just thinking there should be more girls like you.

Simplejack, interesting youtube link.

[Bolas 5]

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I found the best way to "get over" them was to "get under someone else".

Worked like a freakin' charm - the sexy times were great.

You Rock. Great advice.


Thanks. I figured I was going to get flamed for that.

Flamed for encouraging promiscuity?

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[LuckyMcSwervy 0]

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I found the best way to "get over" them was to "get under someone else".

Worked like a freakin' charm - the sexy times were great.

You Rock. Great advice.

Thanks. I figured I was going to get flamed for that.

Flamed for encouraging promiscuity?

It's not promiscuous if it's just one person.

Always be kinder than you feel.

[fantomas08 0]

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I found the best way to "get over" them was to "get under someone else".

Worked like a freakin' charm - the sexy times were great.

You Rock. Great advice.

Thanks. I figured I was going to get flamed for that.

Flamed for encouraging promiscuity?

It's not promiscuous if it's just one person.
Single as in monogamous...or single as in ..ahem..self gratification?

[LuckyMcSwervy 0]

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I found the best way to "get over" them was to "get under someone else".

Worked like a freakin' charm - the sexy times were great.

You Rock. Great advice.

Thanks. I figured I was going to get flamed for that.

Flamed for encouraging promiscuity?

It's not promiscuous if it's just one person.
Single as in monogamous...or single as in ..ahem..self gratification?

Single as in just getting under one person. Don't read into it. It is what it is.

Always be kinder than you feel.

[fantomas08 0]

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I found the best way to "get over" them was to "get under someone else".

Worked like a freakin' charm - the sexy times were great.

You Rock. Great advice.

Thanks. I figured I was going to get flamed for that.

Flamed for encouraging promiscuity?

It's not promiscuous if it's just one person.

Single as in monogamous...or single as in ..ahem..self gratification?

Single as in just getting under one person. Don't read into it. It is what it is.

Oh i got it...but it's easier said then done, once again.

[LuckyMcSwervy 0]

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Single as in just getting under one person. Don't read into it. It is what it is.

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Oh i got it...but it's easier said then done, once again.

There isn't anyone you think is hot that you always said you'd "do" if the time/circumstances were different? Well, now's the time!! Go for it. The worst that can happen is she'd say no, right?

Always be kinder than you feel.

[fantomas08 0]

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Single as in just getting under one person. Don't read into it. It is what it is.

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Oh i got it...but it's easier said then done, once again.

There isn't anyone you think is hot that you always said you'd "do" if the time/circumstances were different? Well, now's the time!! Go for it. The worst that can happen is she'd say no, right?

So what do you say Lucky?

[LuckyMcSwervy 0]

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Single as in just getting under one person. Don't read into it. It is what it is.

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Oh i got it...but it's easier said then done, once again.

There isn't anyone you think is hot that you always said you'd "do" if the time/circumstances were different? Well, now's the time!! Go for it. The worst that can happen is she'd say no, right?

So what do you say Lucky?

I say go for it and have some fun. It'll take the edge off of the hurt you're feeling now.

Always be kinder than you feel.

[FlyingJ 0]

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There isn't anyone you think is hot that you always said you'd "do" if the time/circumstances were different? Well, now's the time!! Go for it. The worst that can happen is she'd say no, right?

Sounds like good timing for a "when you gonna let me tap that" text!

Killing threads since 2004.

[JohnMitchell 16]

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Once again all life's answers can be found in The Onion...

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/but_if_we_started_dating_it

That is freakin' funny . . . and so freakin' true.

Thanks, Bolas.

[LuckyMcSwervy 0]

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There isn't anyone you think is hot that you always said you'd "do" if the time/circumstances were different? Well, now's the time!! Go for it. The worst that can happen is she'd say no, right?

Sounds like good timing for a "when you gonna let me tap that" text!

+ 1

Always be kinder than you feel.