warpedskydiver 0 #51 August 7, 2009 Not funny at all. Good thing the meat heals in a few days. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #52 August 7, 2009 Heard it heals faster if you soak it in cider. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #53 August 7, 2009 Quote Heard it heals faster if you soak it in cider. hmmm I will remember that, get a woman with a mouthful of cider. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #54 August 7, 2009 Quote Quote Heard it heals faster if you soak it in cider. hmmm I will remember that, get a woman with a mouthful of cider. Have to be a vampire if you are still bleeding . . .I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krip 2 #55 August 7, 2009 Quote Quote yet another amazing use for duct tape...... good to know That is TWO uses - Restraint AND torture There are at least four uses of duct tape during sexMaybe a subject for anotherr threadOne Jump Wonder Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #56 August 7, 2009 Duct Tape, good for bikini waxing and getting the mustache off the chick you picked up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #57 August 7, 2009 Quote Duct Tape, good for bikini waxing and getting the mustache off the chick you picked up. It works on extraneous nipple hars on them too.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dks13827 3 #58 August 7, 2009 just leg cramps if I have been running or playing tennis....... oh, one time I caught the - - - - ........ ( just kidding,, knock on wood ). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 801 #59 August 7, 2009 Destroyed a dining room table once. Stoopid cheap furniture. The best part was after repairing it - always had a bit of a wobble...always made us giggle when it wobbled. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #60 August 7, 2009 Quote Twice had a woman(two different ones) pierce a vein in my cock when she was trying to stop me from cumming until she could drink it. Ummm.... you drink from a glass and swallow from a penis. That's all I'm saying... Quote Ladies be careful with those talons Why do you have to drag my rig into this filth, huh?? Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Misternatural 0 #61 August 7, 2009 >Not funny at all. My condolences- dayam that is a horrific injurynote to self; *never date women with "Kung fu grip" Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires. D S #3.1415 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rivetgeek 0 #62 August 7, 2009 Didnt happen to me but directly first hand from a friend of mine. He was having sex with this crazy chick and out of nowhere she pull s a knife and stabs him in the side! He actually lost a fucking kidney due to an ill advised romp with this black widow. As for me, second degree burns from candle wax Giant splinter from a chair that broke while we fucked on it wrist abrasions from handcuffs dislocated knee accidental cigarette burn on my arm (we knocked the ashtray over in a tent) hardwood floor burn (way worse than rug burn)~Bones Knit, blood clots, glory is forever, and chicks dig scars.~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lippy 918 #63 August 7, 2009 Quote Quote Quote I once got attacked by a ferret...She chomped down on my sac mid-stroke. I have difficulty visualising the exact scenario here... Maybe the gerbil wasn't quite big enough. We were messing around on the sofa and I didn't think to lock up my ferrets before I took out my weasel.I got nuthin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #64 August 7, 2009 Quote Quote Quote Quote I once got attacked by a ferret...She chomped down on my sac mid-stroke. I have difficulty visualising the exact scenario here... Maybe the gerbil wasn't quite big enough. We were messing around on the sofa and I didn't think to lock up my ferrets before I took out my weasel. “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #65 August 7, 2009 Quote Quote Twice had a woman(two different ones) pierce a vein in my cock when she was trying to stop me from cumming until she could drink it. Ummm.... you drink from a glass and swallow from a penis. That's all I'm saying... Quote Ladies be careful with those talons Those are not water stains on itWhy do you have to drag my rig into this filth, huh?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #66 August 7, 2009 Quote Ladies be careful with those talons Those are not water stains on itWhy do you have to drag my rig into this filth, huh?? I think the soybean skid marks from my off landing have removed any other "stains".Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #67 August 7, 2009 Sure those are soybeans.... doing again in the expert area again huh? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caress 0 #68 August 7, 2009 Broke a glass coffee table, laughed while bleeding Fell outta bed with him ontop and he kept going while I was trying to catch my breath- still came so it was all good- Of course the usual raw spots when you go and go until it drys up- blue balls to, but those were the old days. I have gotten man cum in my eye ( oh the hazards of upsidedown sex), I have had a night watchman interupt my sex in the jaccuzzi, and wanted to shove his night stick up his ass(does that count?) and of course I have gotten the elbow in the eye a couple times. -Caress I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krip 2 #69 August 7, 2009 Quote Quote Duct Tape, good for bikini waxing and getting the mustache off the chick you picked up. It works on extraneous nipple hars on them too. Now I know that there are at least six uses for duct tape during sex.Maybe we should save the subject of duct tape and sex for another threadOne Jump Wonder Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #70 August 7, 2009 Quote Quote Quote Duct Tape, good for bikini waxing and getting the mustache off the chick you picked up. It works on extraneous nipple hars on them too. Now I know that there are at least six uses for duct tape during sex.Maybe we should save the subject of duct tape and sex for another thread Cleans the chrunchies off of feet too.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #71 August 7, 2009 Quote Ok what happened to you? It's kinda pervy that you haven't shared. Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #72 August 7, 2009 Told to me by an ex infantry-officer.. During boot camp, after the recruits' first weekend of freedom, his soldier came in looking very sorry for himself with a note from the doctor that his penis was broken.. The Officer asked him to explain, knowing perfectly well how it must have happened and seeing how obviously embarrassed the young recruit was when telling the story.. As if that wasn't enough, the Officer told the recruit "right, let's see it then" Much as he was uncomfortable, the recruit obliged and started unzipping his pants, and the Officer yelled "for fuck's sake, soldier, put it away, I don't want to see your cock!!" Poor recruit - he must have been mortified, but I guess if I had been the officer I would have found it pretty irresistible to embarrass the hell out of the guy!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #73 August 8, 2009 Quote Quote Quote Quote Duct Tape, good for bikini waxing and getting the mustache off the chick you picked up. It works on extraneous nipple hars on them too. Now I know that there are at least six uses for duct tape during sex.Maybe we should save the subject of duct tape and sex for another thread Cleans the chrunchies off of feet too. Is WD-40 as useful? Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #74 August 8, 2009 Quote During boot camp, after the recruits' first weekend of freedom, his soldier came in looking very sorry for himself with a note from the doctor that his penis was broken.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90Dfy49yZ8A Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 8 #75 August 8, 2009 Quote Quote Heard it heals faster if you soak it in cider. hmmm I will remember that, get a woman with a mouthful of cider. I think he was refering more to putting your 'dick in cider' Read it out loud..."I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
