iluvtofly 0 #1 June 1, 2009 I would not consider myself a girlie girl, nor would I consider myself overly independent. I would consider myself to be somewhere in the middle of the two. However, I have found that sometimes I scare guys off with how independent I am. With the exception of a job interview or big night out I don't take 2 hours to get ready. I know how to check/fill the fluids in my car, change a tire, drive a stick and I just got done mowing the lawn. I have my own tool box complete with power drill. I grew up around power tools and know how to use pretty much all of them. However, there are still times when it's nice to have a guy around to help with big projects. And it's also nice to every so often have a guy pamper me for a day and feel all girlie. So what do you look for as far as level of independence? And too the women...would you consider your self more or less independent? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #2 June 1, 2009 Quote I have found that sometimes I scare guys off with how independent I am. No...you scare off the little boys, their loss not yours! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TomAiello 26 #3 June 1, 2009 If being you scares them off, they're not the right guys for you, are they?-- Tom Aiello Tom@SnakeRiverBASE.com SnakeRiverBASE.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
porpoishead 8 #4 June 1, 2009 ain't scurry!!if you want a friend feed any animal Perry Farrell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RastaRicanAir 0 #5 June 1, 2009 Sometimes a strong, independent woman will intimidate me. And sometimes I'll indimidate her. It all depends what she's into that night. OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frenchy68 0 #6 June 1, 2009 Reading your thread title, I though you were referring to the character of a woman, and my answer would have been en emphatic yes. But reading your post, you seem to describe physical attribute (able to do certain chores physically, etc...), in which case my answer is I don't care at all. I truly don't care if my companion check the oil of a car, and can't understand that anyone would be scared (or attracted) by that "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #7 June 1, 2009 Quote Reading your thread title, I though you were referring to the character of a woman, and my answer would have been en emphatic yes. But reading your post, you seem to describe physical attribute (able to do certain chores physically, etc...), in which case my answer is I don't care at all. I truly don't care if my companion check the oil of a car, and can't understand that anyone would be scared (or attracted) by that I think there is a certain personality that comes with that as well though. My personality can be a little strong at times as well. I think maybe the combination is a little too much for guys at times. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cloudseeker2001 0 #8 June 1, 2009 Nope not at all! I like women that can jack up the car and change the tire too! "Some call it heavenly in it's brilliance, others mean and rueful of the western dream" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #9 June 1, 2009 I don't think neediness is sexy.. Then again, it's not especially delightful to be with someone who refuses to let anyone into their heart.. Probably everyone has a slightly different definition of independent - I tend to associate it with someone who is mostly self-sufficient. I think when someone is aggressive or overbearing it's not necessarily a sign of independence - more the mark of a bully.. I think *this* can be a massive turn-off.. You can have a lot of inner strength without scaring people off - just look at how sweet LisaH is I sometimes send people running I would say I'm *fiercely* independent (ie: I could do with being more "quietly" assertive). My brother is a lot like me, except he never puts people off, because he's never defensive about the way he is - he's just confident without being in your face about it. I really admire that about him - my feistiness is something I have to consciously tame sometimes!!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anthonyfellows 0 #10 June 1, 2009 Yeah, neediness is a big turn off. Some men want a woman who "needs" them though. That bs just doesn't work for me. I don't want someone leaning on me 24/7. If a person can take care of themselves without the help of another and has done it well, I would say that person is independent. Women like that kick ass! Serious relationships turn into work after a few weeks and I already got a fucking job :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ H.A.F. = Hard As Fuck ... Goddamn Amateurs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guppie01 0 #11 June 1, 2009 LOL After I moved back to Utah from Okinawa and gained a weeeee bit of independence, strength, and knowledge all the guys in UT would tell me that I scared them. Fucking pussies! g "Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #12 June 1, 2009 I suspect that when men dump women because they're "too independent" it's similar to women dumping men because they're "too nice." The person in question is (or is perceived to be) something that is not desired because it's not a desirable trait or the person doing the rejecting is too insecure to come out and say what they really want. "You're too independent/you intimidate me." = "You're too pushy." or "You make more money than me." or "You are loud/obnoxious." or "You have a better job/more education than me." or "I have very specific ideas of what a woman should be [that I might have learned from Cosmo] and you don't fit into them and it confuses me." "You're too nice." = "You're a fucking doormat." or "You have no opinions of your own." or "You want to be my father and I don't need to be babied." or "I mistake drama for love." or "I really do want someone to be an asshole to me because I don't believe I deserve otherwise." "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 3 #13 June 1, 2009 Quote my feistiness is something I have to consciously tame sometimes!!! I like feisty, strong & independent... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #14 June 1, 2009 Not sure if it's quite what you meant, but yeah.. I think sometimes it's less about you being "too good" for your partner and more about the fact that *they* feel inadequate somehow.."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrewEckhardt 0 #15 June 2, 2009 I want a partner not a play thing. My wife was completely independent when we met and even brought her own tool box when she moved in. She was probably more ferocious than I was at work, we get the same Scrabble scores, and she far out did me athletically except on the racquetball court. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SarahC07 0 #16 June 2, 2009 Quote I sometimes send people running I would say I'm *fiercely* independent (ie: I could do with being more "quietly" assertive). My brother is a lot like me, except he never puts people off, because he's never defensive about the way he is - he's just confident without being in your face about it. I really admire that about him - my feistiness is something I have to consciously tame sometimes!!! I understand this all too well. I have to work very hard at being "quietly" assertive... it's a PITA. Sometimes I revoke my own speaking privileges for the rest of the day... like I did today. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
apollard24 0 #17 June 2, 2009 Quote Quote Sometimes I revoke my own speaking privileges for the rest of the day... like I did today. Thats great! Maybe I should consider that sometimeBreathe out so I can breathe you in... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #18 June 2, 2009 No! Not at all. It's just that it's easy for them to confuse "strong and independent" with "bossy and self-centered". My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #19 June 2, 2009 It never bothered me how independent a chick is. As long as she stays in the kitchen, you can't really hear her mouth off anyway.You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #20 June 2, 2009 Quote "You're too independent/you intimidate me." = "You're too pushy." or "You make more money than me." or "You are loud/obnoxious." or "You have a better job/more education than me." or "I have very specific ideas of what a woman should be [that I might have learned from Cosmo] and you don't fit into them and it confuses me." "You're too nice." = "You're a fucking doormat." or "You have no opinions of your own." or "You want to be my father and I don't need to be babied." or "I mistake drama for love." or "I really do want someone to be an asshole to me because I don't believe I deserve otherwise." Dang, NW, you're good at this stuff. I think you pretty much nailed it.Like when they say "It's not you, it's me." Forget it, Jack, it's you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anthonyfellows 0 #21 June 2, 2009 QuoteI suspect that when men dump women because they're "too independent" it's similar to women dumping men because they're "too nice." Personally I don't think there is a such thing as being "too independent". Just my own opinion, but why would it matter if the woman ... makes more money, has a better job, has done more than you in whatever?Serious relationships turn into work after a few weeks and I already got a fucking job :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ H.A.F. = Hard As Fuck ... Goddamn Amateurs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #22 June 2, 2009 Strong women are fine, as long as they know how to wear a little lace from time to time.Very little. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #23 June 2, 2009 Quote Strong women are fine, as long as they know how to wear a little lace from time to time.Very little. Aha.. So you like your lady to occasionally get out the anal-floss?!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #24 June 2, 2009 Quote No! Not at all. It's just that it's easy for them to confuse "strong and independent" with "bossy and self-centered". Exactly!!!Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydemon2 0 #25 June 2, 2009 Quote Quote Strong women are fine, as long as they know how to wear a little lace from time to time.Very little. Aha.. So you like your lady to occasionally get out the anal-floss?!! What is this anal floss you speak of? Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone! I like to start my day off with a little Ray of Soulshine™!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
