Nataly 38 #1 April 19, 2009 For all you people out there who really, *really* can't cook, I thought this might be a nice idea.. It's simple: post your tried and true so-easy-a-five-year-old-could-do-it recipes! Hopefully this will grow to be a nice resource if/when you have guests but you're culinarily challenged or just running out of ideas... SUCCULENT RIBS (This is sooo easy & absolutely *gorgeous*) -rack of ribs (baby-back ribs are really tender) -chicken thighs (optional - half a dozen is fine) -sausages of your liking (optional - half a dozen is fine) -3-4 potatoes (cut in LARGE chunks) -carrots (optional - 3-4 if you like carrots) -3 barbecue-type sauces of your liking (feel free to mix, for example, barbecue, garlic, and honey - try and avoid too much sweet sauce) Cut ribs into manageable chunks (between every 3-4 bones). Dump everything in a large pot. Make sure the sauce covers all the ingredients. If not, add another bottle of barbecue-type sauce, or water (but water will dilute the sauce and not be as nice). Place pot on stovetop (ie: not in the oven) and cook on medium heat until meat on ribs falls off the bone (3-4 beer if a light drinker.. 5-6 beer if a skydiver!!). Takes a while, but is absolutely DELICIOUS!! FUDGE RICE-KRISPIE SQUARES -3-4 mars bars -large spoonful of butter or margarine -3-4 cups of rice-krispies Put the mars bars and butter in a large microwavable bowl for about a minute. Some microwaves take longer - just make sure the chocolate is soft enough to stir into a smooth texture - not so long that the chocolate is a boiling mess! Stir into a soft texture using a fork or spoon, then immediately add the rice krispies. Mix well. Press into a deep non-stick pan and let cool (if you can wait!). If you don't have a non-stick pan, you can just put it on a plain old plate - don't spread too thin!"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyjumpenfool 2 #2 April 19, 2009 -Can of Hunt's Spegetti sauce -Box of Rigatoni Follow instructions on box... Pour on Sauce!Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #3 April 19, 2009 Quote -Can of Hunt's Spegetti sauce -Box of Rigatoni Follow instructions on box... Pour on Sauce! Oh come ON!! Those are NOT recipes!!! SHAME on you!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #4 April 19, 2009 Just thought of another one: EASY PIZZA Pre-heat oven to 350F (or 180C) Base is either: - flat-bread (aka wraps) - pita bread - na'an bread garnish with: - tomato paste - pizza spices - pepperoni / salami - mushrooms - tomatoes - olives - mozzarella cheese (or havarti for a change) - whatever else you like on pizza Put in pre-heated oven on the rack, with a tray on lower shelf to catch dripping cheese (tip: line tray with tinfoil to avoid having to clean) Cook until cheese melts (about 10-15 minutes, depending on the oven). For variation, try this combination of toppings: - tomato paste - currie powder - cumin seeds - fresh basil leaves - capers - shrimp (pre-cooked, not raw!!!) - blue cheese (any variety, but try with Saint Agur if you find Danish blue too strong) Spread evenly & break cheese into chunks - blue cheese is strong, so a small piece every couple of centimeters is better than going totally OTT!!!"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydveraz 0 #5 April 19, 2009 I tried boiling water the other day. It burnt. So much for cooking! Arizona only has two seasons, Hot and HOTTER! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #6 April 19, 2009 Lawrocket's Anti-PETA Pita Slice and onion and then chop the hell out of it in a food processor. Squeeze the juice out and discard the juice. Put the onion chunks in the processor. Get a couple of pounds or baby sheep meat (from a killed lamb). Put it in the processor with the onion. Add some minced garlic, some marjoram and some rosemary. Process it into playdoh and form into baby sheep meatloaf in a bread loaf pan. Bake it in an oven at 350. Drain off fat. Let cool a bit. Cut baby sheeploaf into slices and put on a pita. Put a favored sauce on it with some cabbage. While this was going on, you should have been drinking beer and eating chips and dip/salsa. Hopefully, you filled up on them. If not, eat your sandwich. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #7 April 19, 2009 Ahh ha ha!! Sounds good, actually :)"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freefallfreak 0 #8 April 19, 2009 Elephant stew 1 Elephant (med. size) 2 Rabbits (optional) Salt and Pepper to taste Cut elephant into bite-sized pieces (this takes about 2 months). Add enough gravy to cover. Cook over kerosene fire for 4 weeks at 465 degrees. This will serve about 3,800 people. If more come than were expected, the 2 Rabbits may be added, but do this only if necessary, as most people don't like hare in their stew. TripleF "Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JackC 0 #9 April 19, 2009 Chicken Ding. Remove packaging. Place in microwave. Cook on full power until a ding is heard. Enjoy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #10 April 19, 2009 Awww.. Come on guys.. This is a good idea!! I don't know about everyone else, but I love easy recipes that still taste like you've put some effort into it.. All the recipes I put on here are genuine and tasty - I would *love* to get more ideas of stuff that's simple but delicious. OK, your posts are funny, but now I CHALLENGE you to answer seriously "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JackC 0 #11 April 19, 2009 Fair enough. Chicken and Bacon: Cook a slice of bacon so it's almost cooked. Slit a chicken breast open like a pita bread. Slip the bacon into the chicken breast with a slice of cheddar cheese and grill the chicken until cooked. Broccoli and Stilton soup: Boil broccoli in lightly salted water until cooked. Drain off the water and save it. Put a lump of stilton and the broccoli in a blender and blitz adding back the water until it's soup. Chicken with Ginger and Spring onion: Finely chop some spring onions, root ginger and chili. Marinade chicken cubes in the mix along with some soy sauce and rice wine (or dry sherry). Roll in flour and deep fry. Thai Chicken and Lemon Grass soup: Get a good chicken stock, add some cooked chicken, Lemon Grass, finely chopped spring onion, Thai fish sauce, pepper, chili flake and lime zest and simmer for a bit. Squeeze in lime juice and serve hot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #12 April 19, 2009 Yummy "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freefallfreak 0 #13 April 20, 2009 My recipe is legitimate. It came from a cook book called "Recipes from the Flock" and was written to help pay for a liver transplant for Ivan Pierce at the Gloverville First Baptist church in Gloverville, S.C. It's on page 122 of the cookbook. TripleF "Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
