Why are women attracted to assholes?

[regulator 0]

Ummm because 'bad boys' are completely full of confidence and for some strange reason that excites some women.

[Broke 0]

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Unfortunately there is a bit of truth to that... and not just applicable to women, eventually people come to their senses and can truly appreciate someone who treats them with respect and love.

Although there are the few that don't outgrow that - It's sad... And then there are the lucky ones who have their head on straight from the get go.

Relationships are funny

g

My only question is how old does one have to get

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[downwardspiral 0]

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women will choose to go after any strong, dominant, untamable male. Or any male who can make her feel all those intense, uncontrollable feelings she lives for. Women don’t really want jerks.

You nailed it on the head but I thought I would add to it. Speaking of instincts, that is the type of guy women want to mate with but not necessarily be with. The guy women want to be with is the guy best suited to provide for their offspring. The guy with money and power will never have a problem finding women whether he is nice or not.

I used to be one of those guys that thought women weren't attracted to me because I was too nice and I was all too ready to blame women for liking assholes. But as I grew older I realized I was just making excuses for myself and essentially changed my attitude and now am mildly successful in the dating scene. When I work out the finances...look out!

www.FourWheelerHB.com

[guppie01 0]

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My only question is how old does one have to get

hmmmm well it took me 35 years. My hubby 39 years.

I know a DZ hottie down South who has figured it out if ya want a name / number

You'll find her, be patient!

xoxo
g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[skybytch 273]

You are confusing women with girls. The difference between the two has very little to do with physical age.

[Andy9o8 2]

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You are confusing women with girls. The difference between the two has very little to do with physical age.

You are wise beyond your years, Grasshopper.

[missg8tordivr 0]

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My only question is how old does one have to get

In time, they will come around.... or you can go out and get yourself arrested

How old are you anyways?

***
F LORIDA!

[Darius11 12]

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Why are women attracted to assholes

Fun, Excitement, Drama. Not all women are looking for a nice man to settle down with, some just want fun, and verity in day to day life.

This is excluding the idiots whom we have in every sex, color, and creed.

Also I have noticed its girls who go for shit like that most woman I know are way smarter then that. By girls I mean any woman who has not matured yet and some never do.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[lawrocket 3]

Here are my thoughts:

There are some characteristics at play. What makes him nice? Nice guy typically equals "shy guy." A person who has his own insecurities but deals with them productively. He knows his limitations and does the good thing wihtout expectation of return. This can be flattering. Flattery doesn't always do the trick.

Typically, the "assholes" are people with issues and other problems. Unfortunately, they are also self-centered, which means that they hide their problems well. This self-centered approach clouds their own self-awareness. This is often viewed as self-esteem, which is attractive to the female of the species.

The "asshole" shares another personality trait - they are usually quite charming! That's one characteristics the nice guys typically lack - that charm and personal magnetism based upon their self-centered approach and hightened ego. This is the "confidence" that women dig.

The nice guys, on the other hand, are not self-centered. This is because they base their personalities on self-awareness - a constant assessment of themselves and trying to make themselves better because they are aware of their faults and limitations and do not hide them. But wait! This effort at self-improvement and outward awareness of limitations can be seen as a lack of self-confidence or wimpiness. This is unattractive to the female of the species. However, this type of person does make a great friend to the female and will become the "cuddle bitch."

Now, one of the interesting things is that those women who are the most beautiful, intelligent, cultured, educated and have the great personalities tend to be found with dirtbags. Why? Because the nice guys know their faults and thus find those women unapproachable, which is fine because the women find them unattractive, anyway. Thus, they end up with with the scum because nice guys find themselves unworthy, and the scum are too self-centered to recognize it.

Hence, the nice guy has to show a bit of inner asshole. Be cocky. Be arrogant. "Sorry, a woman like you couldn't handle a guy like me, and I'd rather not be dumped in the future because you need the thrill and excitement that a guy of my stability and calm cannot afford you."

Trust me - it works.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[wishnstar611 0]

well said lawrocket

[downwardspiral 0]

I now understand completely why it is you suggested I practice some self awareness. I'm the 'asshole' in our relationship.

www.FourWheelerHB.com

[skybytch 273]

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Hence, the nice guy has to show a bit of inner asshole. Be cocky. Be arrogant. "Sorry, a woman like you couldn't handle a guy like me, and I'd rather not be dumped in the future because you need the thrill and excitement that a guy of my stability and calm cannot afford you."

Trust me - it works.

Sure it does. If what you or she is looking for includes lots of drama and game playing.

OTOH, if you prefer your relationships drama free, you could just continue to be who you are and trust that there's at least one equally awesome female out there who can appreciate you.

Sure would suck to be cocky and arrogant and then watch the person that could have been your partner in the last and best relationship you'll ever have turn around and walk away...

[SarahC07 0]

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Here are my thoughts:

There are some characteristics at play. What makes him nice? Nice guy typically equals "shy guy." A person who has his own insecurities but deals with them productively. He knows his limitations and does the good thing wihtout expectation of return. This can be flattering. Flattery doesn't always do the trick.

Typically, the "assholes" are people with issues and other problems. Unfortunately, they are also self-centered, which means that they hide their problems well. This self-centered approach clouds their own self-awareness. This is often viewed as self-esteem, which is attractive to the female of the species.

The "asshole" shares another personality trait - they are usually quite charming! That's one characteristics the nice guys typically lack - that charm and personal magnetism based upon their self-centered approach and hightened ego. This is the "confidence" that women dig.

The nice guys, on the other hand, are not self-centered. This is because they base their personalities on self-awareness - a constant assessment of themselves and trying to make themselves better because they are aware of their faults and limitations and do not hide them. But wait! This effort at self-improvement and outward awareness of limitations can be seen as a lack of self-confidence or wimpiness. This is unattractive to the female of the species. However, this type of person does make a great friend to the female and will become the "cuddle bitch."

Now, one of the interesting things is that those women who are the most beautiful, intelligent, cultured, educated and have the great personalities tend to be found with dirtbags. Why? Because the nice guys know their faults and thus find those women unapproachable, which is fine because the women find them unattractive, anyway. Thus, they end up with with the scum because nice guys find themselves unworthy, and the scum are too self-centered to recognize it.

Hence, the nice guy has to show a bit of inner asshole. Be cocky. Be arrogant. "Sorry, a woman like you couldn't handle a guy like me, and I'd rather not be dumped in the future because you need the thrill and excitement that a guy of my stability and calm cannot afford you."

Trust me - it works.

ding. We have a winner.

[happythoughts 0]

Looks + Money + Personality + Commitment = a fixed number. Focus is shifted from category to category depending on mood.

There is "Mr. Right" and "Mr. Right Now".

"Mr. Right Now" is the hot guy that girls hit on when
they are "out of town shopping with the girlfriends".

"Mr. Right" is patiently waiting for his g/f to get home from her weekend.

Guys do the same thing.
(Guys write the 10,000 "my psycho g/f" threads.)

Miss Right Now is hot and crazy (emphasis on crazy).
Fun to date for a month before crazy outweighs fun.
(She writes the 10,000 "why can't I find a decent guy" threads.)

[downwardspiral 0]

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Looks + Money + Personality + Commitment = a fixed number. Focus is shifted from category to category depending on mood.

There is "Mr. Right" and "Mr. Right Now".

"Mr. Right Now" is the hot guy that girls hit on when
they are "out of town shopping with the girlfriends".

"Mr. Right" is patiently waiting for his g/f to get home from her weekend.

Guys do the same thing.
(Guys write the 10,000 "my psycho g/f" threads.)

Miss Right Now is hot and crazy (emphasis on crazy).
Fun to date for a month before crazy outweighs fun.
(She writes the 10,000 "why can't I find a decent guy" threads.)

Nope....this is the winner.

www.FourWheelerHB.com

[Bolas 5]

A buddy and I were talking about some potential dating prospects and sometimes maybe it's "too easy" (relationship wise) or "too nice" and being attracted to the bad girl.

He said it best, "You just don't seem like someone that will fuck me over so I'm just not attracted to you."



I'm pretty laid back and easygoing for the most part. My assholeness really only shows after behavior trends or I feel I'm not being told about stuff that has impact on me.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[lawrocket 3]

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Hence, the nice guy has to show a bit of inner asshole. Be cocky. Be arrogant. "Sorry, a woman like you couldn't handle a guy like me, and I'd rather not be dumped in the future because you need the thrill and excitement that a guy of my stability and calm cannot afford you."

Trust me - it works.

Sure it does. If what you or she is looking for includes lots of drama and game playing.

OTOH, if you prefer your relationships drama free, you could just continue to be who you are and trust that there's at least one equally awesome female out there who can appreciate you.

Sure would suck to be cocky and arrogant and then watch the person that could have been your partner in the last and best relationship you'll ever have turn around and walk away...

That's the neat part. It's not playing a game. Instead it is being up front - "This is what I am." And it's honest. When is honesty equated with game playing?

The game part is the "I don't thing we'll be good together." Admitted - there IS some game in that. Here's the thing - it is PERCEIVED as cocky/arrogant. It is PERCEIVED by the female, "Oooh. This guy is interesting. This guy has charisma. This guy is telling me that we won't fit. I'll show him."

So who is playing the game? How many women out there have been with the charismatic guy and found out he's a total prick? How many of you have bitched about it to your nice-guy friends? Why is he the nice guy? Because he lacks the charisma and charm and self-confidence.

What's the game? Women dump nice guys because they are perceived as soft. Courteous. Etc. Not manly.

Who plays the game, Lisa? The women and the assholes, that's who. It's to the point where honestly saying, "We won't last. You won't be able to handle a guy like me" is treated as a game.

No. It's not. It was my whole damned life. Once I decided to be honest about it, well, let's just say women seemed to like me a bit more. And I wasn't an asshole, either.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[lawrocket 3]

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Looks + Money + Personality + Commitment = a fixed number. Focus is shifted from category to category depending on mood.

There is "Mr. Right" and "Mr. Right Now".

"Mr. Right Now" is the hot guy that girls hit on when
they are "out of town shopping with the girlfriends".

"Mr. Right" is patiently waiting for his g/f to get home from her weekend.

Guys do the same thing.
(Guys write the 10,000 "my psycho g/f" threads.)

Miss Right Now is hot and crazy (emphasis on crazy).
Fun to date for a month before crazy outweighs fun.
(She writes the 10,000 "why can't I find a decent guy" threads.)

www.laddertheory.com

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[wannabediver 0]

No, not all guys are assholes. I had to learn that the hard, painful way, but at least I've learned it. I ALLOWED myself to go through HELL so that I could appreciate HEAVEN, which is what I'm doing now. My boyfriend ROCKS!!!! (And I will NEVER go through HELL again)! You listening KC?

"Wanna cookie little boy?"

[happythoughts 0]

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Looks + Money + Personality + Commitment = a fixed number. Focus is shifted from category to category depending on mood.

There is "Mr. Right" and "Mr. Right Now".

"Mr. Right Now" is the hot guy that girls hit on when
they are "out of town shopping with the girlfriends".

"Mr. Right" is patiently waiting for his g/f to get home from her weekend.

Guys do the same thing.
(Guys write the 10,000 "my psycho g/f" threads.)

Miss Right Now is hot and crazy (emphasis on crazy).
Fun to date for a month before crazy outweighs fun.
(She writes the 10,000 "why can't I find a decent guy" threads.)

www.laddertheory.com

I've seen that before. It drives people to be cynical
players instead of being honest about their goals.

If people want a good relationship, then they
don't sacrifice sanity for looks.
With patience, an actual relationship.

If the goal is just playtime, then don't portray themselves as relationship-seekers.

Harder than it sounds though. "Hot" is a great temptation.

Lack of truth from both sexes.
Lying is a skill sharpened through practice.

[lawrocket 3]

Hey, I agree. I'm married now and the relationship was developed because we were both game free. Neither of us into it.

What was the attraction for me? That thing between her ears. She's got a mind that was a real turn on. I didn't feel I'd met my match so much as I had found my match.

She thinks I'm the nicest guy in the world. A lot of folks who know me think so. But these people also know that I'm not a pushover and don't put up with shit.

I used the be just the nice guy who put up with shit.

And yes, I am cynical. Find a lawyer, doctor or cop who isn't. Another term for "cynicism" is "defense mechanism.". What did I defend against? Having my damned heart ripped out again.

And yes, some stuff is funny now that wasn't. Bill Cosby was funny when I was a kid. He's hilarious now that I have kids. Sam Kinison was my favorte when I was younger. He borders on prophet now (when I'm on my way to Home Depot to get some perennial ryegrass seed and his bit comes on the cokedy station about marriage being so boring "I actually give a shit about my lawn" (true story) then I find it a fucking riot!)

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Broke 0]

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My only question is how old does one have to get

In time, they will come around.... or you can go out and get yourself arrested

How old are you anyways?

I am exactly as old as Sunshine well maybe not to the hour, but to the day

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[JohnMitchell 16]

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The "asshole" shares another personality trait - they are usually quite charming!

Ohmigod, I'm an asshole!



My experience, and it's been a long time since I dated, was that women like some excitement, some fun, and a guy that knows what he wants. Over 6', full head of hair, and a sports car helps too. Dating is a game that's played, a pas de deux, a flirtatious fun thing. No one whips out too much love and sincerity and "I think we should name our first child . . . " on the first date, or especially when you're trying just to get a phone number.

When you fall in love and decide to marry, that's when all the games should stop ( but the romance should continue,)

My $.02, but I've only been married once.

[amma 0]

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My younger sister is the same way... she LOVES to be treated like shit!

She has been on again off again with an abusive guy for over 5 years.... A guy whos made her cut ties with all her friends, wont let her work anywhere that other guys work,verbally abuses her every day, broken her arm, left MANY bruises on her body, broken her car window, keyed her entire car, sliced her tires, cut wires under her hood, thrown keys in her face, cheated on her and given her STD's etc.

He tells her he loves her and wants to marry her and have babies with her. They never use protection because he claims he's too big to wear condoms and they hurt him. She has been pregnant by him at least 5 times that I know of, and each time he tells her to get an abortion or he'll leave her, then when she gets it, he calls her a cold heartless bitch and a piece of shit for killing his baby!

My mom and i have been with her at the police station to file charges, gone with her to get a restraining order, and even bitched out the guy and his parents, but she keeps going back to him. Its a neverending circle, and its very, very frustrating, but we've tried to help her for over 5 years, all to no avail. It's out of our hands at this point.

I will never understand it, but at the end of the day, she's the only one who can choose not to be with him. I only hope that she figures it out before he does something WAY more drastic.

Whoa there, waaaaay too much information. I hate to hear that your sister is in such a bad way but I have to wonder why you felt it necessary to share your sister's dirty laundry with a forum full of strangers. How about a little discretion? If I was your sister I'd be pretty pissed. I'm sure you wouldn't like this sort of thing posted about you.

[Bolas 5]

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Whoa there, waaaaay too much information. I hate to hear that your sister is in such a bad way but I have to wonder why you felt it necessary to share your sister's dirty laundry with a forum full of strangers. How about a little discretion? If I was your sister I'd be pretty pissed. I'm sure you wouldn't like this sort of thing posted about you.

Could be multiple reasons:
* She's met some of us and trusts us and doesn't care what the others may think.
* She'd seen some of the help others have gotten with "impossible" problems.
* She's tired of pretending the problem doesn't exist and just not talking about it.
* She's hoping that possibly sharing her sister's story will maybe prevent someone else or their family from having to deal with what she is going through.

Obviously we aren't getting the whole story, but if what she said was true, her sister has MUCH bigger problems than her sister talking about her on a members only forum.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.