SCENARIO: You wake up in an unknown apartment...

[Mazz 0]

You are naked and written over your entire body with a permanent marker are the words "I did it". You are holding a gun and have two gunshot wounds, one in your foot and one in your shoulder. On the bed are 3 dead hookers smeared with blood, chocolate, butter creme frosting and sprinkles. There is a Tiger and a baboon in the kitchen fighting. In the ceiling and the floor of the living room there are huge holes into the upper and lower apartments. The holes seemed to be cause by some sort of explosion. Hanging naked by his feet from the living room balcony is Sean Connery who has been knocked unconscious.

The entire apartment is trashed and blood is smeared all over the walls. There are small fires throughout living room. On the floor by your feet is a letter along with a box of items.

The letter reads:
Get out of this and you have 10,000,000 waiting for you. Have fun.

The box contains:
1 stick of dynamite
1 lighter
1 knife
3 sticks of bubble gum
4 rolls of masking tape.

After looking through the box, the police bust into the apartment with guns drawn.

Your task: realistically explain your way out of the situation so the cops will let you go free.

Winner will be named by me. Winner will have to make a new scenario. Do not play unless you are willing to win and make the next scenario.

In the Navy, you can't put your hands in your pockets but I was always told not to put my hands in my pockets by people with their hands in their pockets. Kinda funny huh?

[cocheese 0]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TuLBa-rgBk&feature=PlayList&p=B5C55529E1B785E1&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=33

[Baksteen 84]

"Hey guys - I'm sorry but the party is already over. But next time I'll personally make sure that you are all invited."

"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

[namgrunt 0]

so..so easy


just say

G.W.Bush did it

59 YEARS,OVERWEIGHT,BALDIND,X-GRUNT
LAST MIL. JUMP VIET-NAM(QUAN-TRI)
www.dzmemories.com

[Mazz 0]

No serious contenders yet? For some of you this seems like a pretty tame weekend. You've probably talked your way out of worse.

In the Navy, you can't put your hands in your pockets but I was always told not to put my hands in my pockets by people with their hands in their pockets. Kinda funny huh?

[popsjumper 2]

Welcome to SLYride!

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[madhatter 0]

A-yuuup! [Goofy snort-laugh]

A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!
D.S # 125

[regulator 0]

Shove the stick of dynamite up your ass and light the fuse (this wouldnt work for me...my ass it too tight. But Cocheese on the other hand might be able to pull it off) then fart as hard as you can to shoot the stick of dynamite towards the cops and kill all of them and then get yourself to the nearest hospital and get the gunshot wounds and gaping asshole fixed ASAP.

[coconutmonkey 0]

"You guys here for autographs, too?"

Hearts & Minds
2 to the Heart-
1 to the Mind-
Home of the Coconut Lounge, Spa, & Artillery Range

[Mazz 0]

  Quote

Shove the stick of dynamite up your ass and light the fuse (this wouldnt work for me...my ass it too tight. But Cocheese on the other hand might be able to pull it off) then fart as hard as you can to shoot the stick of dynamite towards the cops and kill all of them and then get yourself to the nearest hospital and get the gunshot wounds and gaping asshole fixed ASAP.

Nice try but killing cops with dynamite shot out of your ass probably isnt best way out of this situtation

In the Navy, you can't put your hands in your pockets but I was always told not to put my hands in my pockets by people with their hands in their pockets. Kinda funny huh?

[Broke 0]

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Hey Y'all hold my beer watch this

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[missg8tordivr 0]

  Quote

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Hey Y'all hold my beer watch this

***
F LORIDA!