lawrocket 3 #51 March 3, 2009 Quote Quote Have a pregnant friend pee on a stick, then hit your ex up for "abortion money" That is neither funny nor cool. That easily qualifies for a true beating delivered from the ex. I agree. It's far more fun to serve the person with a child support suit for unborn child - make sure service occurs on a Friday evening. Once questioned, claim "miscarriage." Note - do not actually file the case. That'll be a lesson for those dudes that fuck and chuck wimminfolk. The punishment should fit the crime. Axle grease on the windshield wiper (as suggested earlier) is fine for trivialities. A more severe wrong may call for something like paint thinner in the widshield washer fluid - a surefire way to create a retro-looking psychedelic paint job! I've had the opportunity to smell hunting lure. I reckon just a drop or two on any engine part will make a mark's day pretty bad. In fact, just about any food item that contains eggs will make a helluva stink when burning. So experiment to see whether a manifold will make waffles. Know a skydiver going to Yosemite? Slapping on a BASE bumper sticker will no doubt result in numerous delays at the hands of park rangers. Similarly, an "I Hate Cops" bumper sticker mixed with a faulty taillight will result in a fix-it ticket at the very least. For a gift in the future at some point - maybe years - add Loc-Tite to a lug nut. Then tighten and file it round. You could also get a foreign flag and tie it with about a 20 rope to the rear axle. When the person drives away, the flag will be behind dragging. Then again this may bring a homicide charge if done with poorly planned time, place and manner. Of course, a well-placed rumor can be splendid. With technology it can be spread globally is a short time. The list is endless... My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybill 22 #52 March 3, 2009 Hi Spence, There are getting even pranks and then there's getting even. Depends on what they did. For stupid skydiver tricks all the above posts sufice except for maybe a few. Living well is the best revenge I think is the best. But if ya' just gotta do something, try the potato in the tailpipe or moth balls in the gastank. sugar in the oil is really good if you can get the hood open and the old "auto fooler" fireworks whistle pop bang if you can find any are fun. Tip the bartender to double shot them when they buy drinks and giggle when they get hauled off to go call "RALPH!!!!" then talk real loud to them the next day when they are really hung over!! Last but not least, order 4 yards of ready-mix concrete delivered to their house on saturday morning and tell the driver to just dump it right next to the driveway and they'll take care of it!!!!! Beware though, Karma has a way of catching up with you and evening the odds, so keep your Karma clean!!SCR-2034, SCS-680 III%, Deli-out Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
firstime 0 #53 March 3, 2009 sprinkle some insulation (very little) in their shorts Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DavidB 0 #54 March 3, 2009 A large zip-tie around the driveshaft of a rear wheel drive car or truck makes a delightful speed related noise.When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #55 March 3, 2009 Quote Quote Have a pregnant friend pee on a stick, then hit your ex up for "abortion money" That is neither funny nor cool. That easily qualifies for a true beating delivered from the ex. With a coathanger? Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Feeblemind 1 #56 March 3, 2009 This one is not for the weak of heart: Place Cascara Sagrada in a beverage they are going to drink. They will feel their stomach rumble for the need of a restroom, by then it is two late as within moments they will crap their pants! PS don't let them ride in your car after administration Fire Safety Tip: Don't fry bacon while naked Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
idodsick 0 #57 March 3, 2009 Quotesprinkle some insulation (very little) in their shorts doood thats sooooo wrong!!!!the diamond can not be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pinkfairy 0 #58 March 3, 2009 Call the police when they play loud music at night! (Well, that's not particularly evil, but it is effective, and it does annoy them. Effective is better than evil). Relax, you can die if you mess up, but it will probably not be by bullet. I'm a BIG, TOUGH BIGWAY FORMATION SKYDIVER! What are you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LongWayToFall 0 #59 March 3, 2009 These are reposts, but great none the less. Coke bomb in the fridge: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7Z818lnTK0 Stupid room mate prank: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EEgM92_LGU From above, the flour in the hairdryer prank: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsE4qEfEfO4 For really serious stuff payback, wait until they have gone away on a vacation. A LONG vacation. Take several cans of expanding foam and seal the bottoms of all their doors shut, as well as the garage door and any floor level vents. Let it dry, then sneak into the backyard and find 1 or more hoses, and drag them onto the roof. Figure out which roof vent is one of the bathroom ceiling fan vents (not the sewage vent!) and turn the hoses on! The height of the water level inside the house is dependent on how long they are gone, but if its for a long while I could only imagine how much you could get in there. Less major, but still fucked, you could always loosen their car's oil drain plug almost all the way out. If it comes out they will most likely not pull over right away, and the motor will be toast. Even less major, a large quantity of crickets, lady bugs, or glitter (straight diabolical!!!!!!) in the car, home, or workplace could do wonders. A quick way to seriously damage a paint job, is with brake fluid or oven cleaner. Make sure to get every body panel. Or a good ol'e antiquing is always nice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #60 March 3, 2009 I am not really a getcha back type to be mean. I think funny getcha backs are always okay thou- TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Orchid 0 #61 March 3, 2009 ~ Visine in coffee/tea/drinks (forget about a few drops) - I'd put 1/2 or 3/4 bottle in the coffee) ~ poor bastard didn't even know what hit him...sent him home for 3days....just because he screwed up my presentation @ work. ~ itching powder ~ Asian (ben-gay) it's 10-20times more potent than the stuff you buy over the counter. It's clear liquid, it's odorless until you put on your skin. got mine in the chinese herbal shop. Just a dab of it is enough to take care of your aches & pain. Imagine a whole table spoon of that on someone chair, will set his/her ass on fire. Did that to a girl in my class once (many years ago) for pissing me off. These are the things I don't leave home without. "Love is doing small things with great love." Lacrosse: Legally beating men with sticks since 1492 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #62 March 3, 2009 Quote~ Visine in coffee/tea/drinks (forget about a few drops) - I'd put 1/2 or 3/4 bottle in the coffee) ~ poor bastard didn't even know what hit him...sent him home for 3days....just because he screwed up my presentation @ work. What sort of problems does it cause? What is the active ingredient?Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
poe62 0 #63 March 3, 2009 http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/visine.asp~Nikki http://www.facebook.com/poe62 Irgity Dirgity Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Racenic 0 #64 March 4, 2009 Go to the New Stand pull out the Subscription Cards to the dirtest of the gay porn mags and get them a subscription with the "Bill Me" Later option marked! They will receive at least one copy of the magazine and the bill for payment in the mail! Nick D The key to Immortality is- first living a life worth remembering” Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #65 March 4, 2009 Quote Quote The Sicilian in me wants to say some really evil things.... Can't say I'd blame him since you're posting while he's in ya. Blues, Dave I don't mess around with Italian guys. Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #66 March 4, 2009 If they were boots or other shoes that won't leak fill the toes with KYDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #67 March 4, 2009 The classic "Upper Decker" is always amusing. Adding them to Gay Porn mailing lists (And even better if you have sent Attention: Victim C/O their Churches address). A Creative Classifieds Ad and/or adult personals can be amusing. And of course the old Swapping their tube of Preparation H with a tube of Super Glue. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #68 March 4, 2009 The greatest get even story ever posted has to be this: For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone: Don’t take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you *don’t* know! Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled, “You’re a jackass!” and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word “jackass,” and put it in my desk drawer.Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I’d call him up. He’d answer, and I’d yell, “You’re a jackass!” It would always cheer me up. Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice say, “Hello.” I made up a name. “Hi. This is the sales office of the Telephone Company and I’m just calling to see if you’re familiar with our caller ID program?” He went, “No!” and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re a jackass!” The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there’s ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 823-4863. The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn’t think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. ” Great,” I thought, she’s finally leaving. All of a sudden this black Camaro comes flying up the parking isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space.I started honking my horn and yelling, “You can’t just do that, Buddy. I was here first!” The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn’t even hear me. I thought to myself, “This guy’s a jackass. There sure a lot of jackasses in this world.” I noticed he had a “For Sale” sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park. A couple of days later, I’m at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, “You’re a jackass!” (It’s really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial). I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I’d better call this guy, too. After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, “Hello.” I said, “Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?” “Yes, it is.” “Can you tell me where I can see it?” “Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It’s a yellow house and the car’s parked right out front.” I said, “What’s your name?” “My name is Don Hansen.” “When’s a good time to catch you, Don?” “I’m home in the evenings.” “Listen Don, can I tell you something?” “Yes.” “Don, you’re a jackass!” And I slammed the phone down. After I hung up I added Don Hansen’s number to my speed dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then, after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn’t as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution: First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello.” I yelled “You’re a jackass!” but I didn’t hang up. The jackass said, “Are you still there?” I said, “Yeah.” He said, “Stop calling me.” I said, “No.” He said, “What’s you name, pal?” I said, “Don Hansen.” He said, “Where do you live?” “1802 West 34th Street. It’s a yellow house and my black Camaro’s parked out front.” “I’m coming over right now, Don. You’d better start saying your prayers.” “Yeah, like I’m really scared, Jackass!” and I hung up. Then I called Jackass #2. He answered, “Hello.” I said, “Hello, Jackass!” He said, “If I ever find out who you are…” “You’ll what?” “I’ll kick your butt.” “Well, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now Jackass!” And I hung up. Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W. 34th Street. After that, I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. It was glorious watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars and a police helicopter. It was one of the greatest experiences of my life! Name withheld to protect the guilty."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skittles_of_SDC 0 #69 March 4, 2009 That can't be true but I want it to be true so bad. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #70 March 4, 2009 Quote That can't be true but I want it to be true so bad. Website says it really happened but hell if I know, its the internet! http://nationaljoke.com/home/thats-life/the-jackass-story/"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DavidB 0 #71 March 5, 2009 Quote Quote Quote The Sicilian in me wants to say some really evil things.... Can't say I'd blame him since you're posting while he's in ya. Blues, Dave I don't mess around with Italian guys. I'm only half Italian. Does that mean I have half a chance? When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #72 March 5, 2009 Quote Quote Quote Quote The Sicilian in me wants to say some really evil things.... Can't say I'd blame him since you're posting while he's in ya. Blues, Dave I don't mess around with Italian guys. I'm only half Italian. Does that mean I have half a chance? Nope. Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jcd11235 0 #73 March 5, 2009 Quote When my daughter was 17 & a senior in high school, my son ( who is 6 yrs younger ) filled out one of those cards I WANT TO JOIN THE ARMY in her name. The calls started coming to the house & eventually two NCO's showed up asking for her. JerryBaumchen That's just mean. Math tutoring available. Only $6! per hour! First lesson: Factorials! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darktreader 0 #74 March 5, 2009 Had an old roommate of mine years ago and we would so stupid pranks all the time for fun, one night he got me good, I had a first date lined up and he was gonna stay home that night my date came over and we left for dinner and the plan was to come back and rent a movie. We arrived back home a couple hours later and while I was gone, he flipped my entire bedroom upside down and backwards down to every last item, and he was gone for the night. I felt so compeled to one up on him, I went to the local "fast signs" company and had a couple vinyl signs made up that stick on your car, IN flouresant pink one said "loves The Cock" with a big rainbow over it, in which I waited till friday night and stuck it on his passenger side door. I had another made up that said "I love a mouthfull" with little rainbows on each side and that went on the front bumper. He didnt notice it for 2-days, and it was pointed out by his employer when going to lunch on monday."Before we waste time talking and getting to know each other, let's just have sex once and see if we're compatible" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LongWayToFall 0 #75 March 5, 2009 Be glad you weren't going on a date to the ballgame. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMHidjDB_Uk Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
