The Unofficial Parachutists Handbook

[Andy_Copland 0]

I'll start, add your own rules.

"Rule 1: It is FORBIDDEN to go in unless enough footage has been accumulated to make a decent tribute video"

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[pirana 0]

Rule 2A:

When somebody goes in, you have to pretend to have liked them regardless of the relationship you had with them when they were alive.

Rule 2B:

You can not graze the buffet provided the day of an ash dive unless you bring something for the table.

(Sorry for the morbidity, but you started it).

" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

[virgin-burner 1]

"Rule 3: IF you do go in prior to that, there should be enough footage of you being involved in considered dangerously and even more so, indiscriminating activities. OR your friends should have collected enough of aforementioned activities that were exchanged privately!"

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[Andy_Copland 0]

Excellent contribution Sir.

Rule 3.12b: Tandems canopies are large and frustraing to pack. No tandem should be packed after the sunset load unless intoxicated enough to numb the pain of tandem packing

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[airtwardo 7]

Rule 4.01: When jumping a classic radial engined aircraft such as a Beech or DC-3, any skydivers with less than 100 jumps and a white jumpsuit must stand behind the #1 engine during the starting procedure.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[Andy_Copland 0]

Rule 4.1ep: Skydivers are required to complete practice EP's on the ground. For confidence in your rigger and self, it is required you perform a real situation cut-away at 2k or below regardless of the condition of your main canopy.

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[shropshire 0]

Rule 6.9 ...... If, after performing a first, you buy shite bear for your fine... never, under any circumstances turn up at the DZ ever again.

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[DaGimp 0]

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Rule 4.1ep: Skydivers are required to complete practice EP's on the ground. For confidence in your rigger and self, it is required you perform a real situation cut-away at 2k or below regardless of the condition of your main canopy.

done it

"Professor of Pimpology"~~~Bolas

[popsjumper 2]

Rule 5.0
In order to be deemed a real skydiver, one must jump a T-10 having more patches than original material.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[popsjumper 2]

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Excellent contribution Sir.

Rule 3.12b: Tandems canopies are large and frustraing to pack. No tandem should be packed after the sunset load unless intoxicated enough to numb the pain of tandem packing

Rule 3.12c: Choice of intoxicants is entirely at the discretion of the packer.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[LongWayToFall 0]

Rule 7- First one down sets the pattern AND taps the keg.

[billeisele 130]

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Rule 5.0
In order to be deemed a real skydiver, one must jump a T-10 having more patches than original material.

5.1 Rule 5.0 can be replaced by performing a cut-a-way if the rig has Capewells and a 24-flat without a pilot chute

[popsjumper 2]

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Rule 5.0
In order to be deemed a real skydiver, one must jump a T-10 having more patches than original material.

5.1 Rule 5.0 can be replaced by performing a cut-a-way if the rig has Capewells and a 24-flat without a pilot chute

Rule 5.1.a: Reserve must have been thrown in the proper direction of spin.
Rule 5.1.a.1: Having failed to accomplishe Rule 5.1.a, the reserve must be reeled in and then thrown in the proper direction of spin.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[Andy_Copland 0]

Rule 69: Nervous students should be docked on close to their pull time and tossed across the sky in an uncontrolled manor. While this may upset them it will also give them confidence later.

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[shropshire 0]

Rule 69b - Nervous students should be reminded that there is a hint in the name of a Throw Away and should not keep hold of it like a comforter

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[Andy_Copland 0]

Rule 69c: When asking an old timer for advice early on in your career about gear.... well just dont, because they are fucking useless

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[JohnMitchell 16]

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Rule 69c: When asking an old timer for advice early on in your career about gear.... well just dont, because they are fucking useless

Rule 69c.1: Whatever size canopy the old timer suggest, go two sizes smaller.

Rule 69c.2: You may go three sizes smaller if you promise to be careful on it for the first 10 jumps or so.


Old farts. There's a reason we're so old. Becaused we lived.

[shropshire 0]

Twat.

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[Andy_Copland 0]

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Rule 69c.2: You may go three sizes smaller if you promise to be careful on it for the first 10 jumps or so.

Excellent.

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[jtnesbitt 0]

Rule 7: Pulling before 3.5k is not permitted and a complete waste of altitude unless the jumper has beer in their jumpsuit pockets.

Rule 7.1: Beer is permitted on a dropship as long as it is not visible before exit and is empty before landing.

"If this post needs to be moderated I would prefer it to be completly removed and not edited and butchered into a disney movie" - DorkZone Hero

[skybill 22]

Hi Pops,
Reply: Rule 5.1.a Been there, done that, it worked, got the T-shirt. The proceedure works good for "Low-speed" Mae West type mals. There was another proceedure that was bandied about back when but fell into disuse because of the consequences!! This involved hanging onto the skirt of the reserve canopy and "Shaking It Like A Bedsheet!!" until it caught air and inflated!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ('ya hav' ta' be real old [like me] ta' remember this one) !!!

SCR-2034, SCS-680

III%,
Deli-out

[Andy_Copland 0]

I had to google Mae West, and laugh. I like it

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[airtwardo 7]

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I had to google Mae West, and laugh. I like it

Fuckin' n00bs!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[virgin-burner 1]

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Rule 69c: When asking an old timer for advice early on in your career about gear.... well just dont, because they are fucking useless

Rule 69c.1: Whatever size canopy the old timer suggest, go two sizes smaller.

Rule 69c.2: You may go three sizes smaller if you promise to be careful on it for the first 10 jumps or so.

appendix to 69c.1: if the old timer suggests anythiny below a 150, COMPLETELY ignore him and go for a 135 instead!

or start jumping a high-performance wingsuit just to piss him off!

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[zoobrothertom 5]

Rule 8.1

All low pulls must be done directly over manifest.

____________________________________
I'm back in the USA!!