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Andy_Copland

The Unofficial Parachutists Handbook

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Rule 4.01: When jumping a classic radial engined aircraft such as a Beech or DC-3, any skydivers with less than 100 jumps and a white jumpsuit must stand behind the #1 engine during the starting procedure.

AND be front float on climb out!
i have on occasion been accused of pulling low . My response. Naw I wasn't low I'm just such a big guy I look closer than I really am .


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Footnotes:

*1. You're never so good that you CAN'T go in.:| Oh and people went in without video plenty. Of course video cameras were a lot more rare.

*2a. You don't have to pretend shit. You can think it sucks that someone went in, and still not like them.:P

*2b. Eat.

*3. What is the preoccupation with video?

*3.12b. Yer fookin' soft lad!

*4.01 AND they get the front float slot. IF they fuck it up, they buy beer.

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You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously.

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Rule 9. First one to the crater gets the to keep the good stuff.

Rule 9.5 Friends of the guy who just went in are required to "sanitize" the "bouncee's" apartment/locker/DZ trailer before their parents find all the porn/drugs/compromising photos.
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You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously.

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Rule 9.5 Friends of the guy who just went in are required to "sanitize" the "bouncee's" apartment/locker/DZ trailer before their parents find all the porn/drugs/compromising photos.

:D:D:D very nice
"Before we waste time talking and getting to know each other, let's just have sex once and see if we're compatible"

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Always be prepared to exit before boarding a Lodestall.

0.5 seconds before exiting on a static line jump, hand your jumpmaster the hook end of a fake static line.

If you are ex-military doing your first AFF jump with a single-harness, dual parachute system, grab your belly reserve on exit with feet and knees together.

When jumping with Futuredivot, wear weights....lots of weights.

When jumping with Andy_Copland, wear armor....lots of armor.
My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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Rule 97a: If when completing the 100th jump, the person even attempts to avoid pie, they forfeit their cut-away handle half way through their next jump. The person pulling their cut-away handle is then required to wave it in their face and laugh.
1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

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Rule 7: Thou SHALT fart on the way to altitude.
Rule 7a: After completing rule 7, blame it on someone else.
Rule 7b: If sucessfull in placing the balme on someone else, demand that they exit the aircraft immediatly.
Tact is not my specialty.....

Dirty Sanchez #453

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Rule 71.01(a): Any and all skydiver 'pranks' shall be assigned time designations regarding the period of time prior to being considered funny.


Range of time varies according to what, when, where & who the prank is targeting.

-Pimping a 100 jump wonder with a bad spot is immediately funny.
-Turning off the fuel selector in a 182 prior to exit is a month.
-Going low on a big-way blot only to fake a 'wave off' and throwing out a bright red banana under the formation...usually takes a few years. :$:ph34r:











~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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Axiom 11: The more they talk up their mad skillz, the less likely they are to have them. The best skydivers out there don't need any talking-up.

Axiom 12: The more people a new jumper asks about one of their decisions, the more likely they are to be seeing the advice they want to hear.

Axiom 13: There is indeed such a thing as a dumb question, but getting hurt because you didn't ask it is even dumber.

Axiom 14: Beware the jumper who proclaims he is an expert in his field. It can take years for jumpers to learn just how little they really know.

Axiom 15: When organizing any larger dive, beware of the new-ish good looking woman that several people vouch for. It is possible they are looking at attributes other than her skydiving skills.

Axiom 16: When teaching very new skydivers, it is important to answer the question they need the answer to, not the question they ask.

Axiom 17: Beware the skydiver in the Bell helmet.

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Hi Pops,
Besides a T-10, would you consider an early 1950's vintage "Fashion Frocks" 28' Orange and white candy stripe C-9 canopy with any of the usual (LL, TT, T-U) modifications and with or without the bathtub dye job a qualifying canopy as you mention with or without patches either sewn on or 100MPH tape????
SCR-2034, SCS-680

III%,
Deli-out

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