lippy 918 #1 February 27, 2009 I work in Wireline and we run tools on an electo-mechanical wire from the back of a truck down into oilwells to do various things down there, depending on the service we're giving the client. The wire comes off the back of the truck, and goes through a pulley called a sheave that's attached to the ground. From that pulley it goes to another sheave mounted over the hole and then straight down into the well. The classic prank for fucking with newbies is to get them to 'calibrate the sheave'. There is no calibration at all for this, aside from safety inspections every X months. We had a guy quit last week because somebody videoed him 'calibrating the sheave' and put it on youtube. That video was removed, but this one's funny as hell (even funnier because it's our main competition). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gX0WKP2_CdII got nuthin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JumpinJules 0 #2 February 27, 2009 I want my one minute and 57 seconds back for watching that entire thing waiting for a really funny part....Into the great wide open/ under them skies of blue/ out in the great wide open/ a rebel w/out a clue..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #3 February 27, 2009 I like the one where you get the newbie to watch senseless videos for 1:57. My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #4 February 27, 2009 (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lippy 918 #5 February 27, 2009 Meh...It's funny to me I got nuthin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JumpinJules 0 #6 February 27, 2009 Quote I like the one where you get the newbie to watch senseless videos for 1:57. haha Okay... that was funny.Into the great wide open/ under them skies of blue/ out in the great wide open/ a rebel w/out a clue..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dumpster 0 #7 February 27, 2009 Like sendie an Air Force newbie out looking for a spool of flight line or a five gallon pail of prop wash ------ Easy Does It Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
regulator 0 #8 February 27, 2009 When I was in the army we had alot of these old crank phones laying around... So one day we got a newb in our unit and we decided to have some fun with him. So we whipped out the ol crank phone and drilled a small hole in the back of the porta-potty. Ran the wire through the porta-potty and about 35 feet behind it to some trees where three of us had the crank phone. I don't know if any of you know about these old phone but when you crank them then actually shock this shit out of you. So we exposed the two wires and wrapped them around each other. Then we laid in wait for at least 15 minutes for him to get off his shift on guard duty and go to the porta-potty and take a dump. Sure enough here he comes...we wait about 30 seconds for him to be in the 'seated' position, and then we started cranking the crank. The next thing that happened was priceless!! The spark ignited all the methane gas in the porta potta and made a small explosion in the porta potty that blew week old doo-doo and piss all over his ass and the back of his legs. Now that was priceless! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #9 February 27, 2009 Quote I want my one minute and 57 seconds back for watching that entire thing waiting for a really funny part.... i was already fed up at 0:40.. “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 2 #10 February 27, 2009 QuoteWhen I was in the army we had alot of these old crank phones laying around... Zapping some tool's butt in the porta-potty: Funny. Zapping some raghead's nads at Gitmo: Priceless. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 2 #11 February 27, 2009 Quote Meh...It's funny to me Maybe it's because you work in the industry. Hey, how about this one: How many law clerks does it take to change a lightbulb? > 27 U.S. 237. Get it? 237!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! Ohh , that one slays me every time... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
downwardspiral 0 #12 February 27, 2009 Quote Quote When I was in the army we had alot of these old crank phones laying around... Zapping some tool's butt in the porta-potty: Funny. Zapping some raghead's nads at Gitmo: Priceless. hmmm who's turn is it to be offended this time? www.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lippy 918 #13 February 28, 2009 Quote Quote Meh...It's funny to me Maybe it's because you work in the industry. Hey, how about this one: How many law clerks does it take to change a lightbulb? > 27 U.S. 237. Get it? 237!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! Ohh , that one slays me every time... That 237 joke makes no sense, at least mine was funnyYour point is taken, and I recognize that there's a lot of industry humor that is just that; just as there's a lot of skydiver humor that my co-workers don't appreciate. I thought a guy who's trying hard to impress his new supervisor and concentrating on a task which acomplishes nothing more than making an ass out of himself was something that transcends, but I guess not...OopsI got nuthin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #14 February 28, 2009 QuoteLike sendie an Air Force newbie out looking for a spool of flight line or a five gallon pail of prop wash ------ On construction jobs, the first thing that you learn is to never put your hands in your pockets. That is a sure sign that you are not doing anything. Soon, there will be more work and you don't want someone canned for goofing off in the slack time. So, you send them to the equipment shack for "a no.5 skyhook" or "50 yds of line of sight". They get routed around the job site for an hour. In the computer industry, the managers never know what you are talking about, and they never seem to learn, so it isn't fun to mess with them. It is like pretending to throw the tennis ball for your dog. You fool the dog, but how hard is that? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbry 0 #15 February 28, 2009 Funny,but cold hearted.Now send him for a board streacher! -------------------------------------------------- Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!! D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PeteW 0 #16 March 1, 2009 I used to work on the rigs as a safety hand. One day I was on the floor and the driller nudged me. I looked over and laughed. He had the roughneck scrubing drill pipe. And they were running back in the hole that day too! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gearless_chris 1 #17 March 2, 2009 Quote Funny,but cold hearted.Now send him for a board stretcher! We sent people after the aluminum magnet. We used the walkie talkies to let the maintenance guys know to keep the newbie busy for a while."If it wasn't easy stupid people couldn't do it", Duane. My momma said I could be anything I wanted when I grew up, so I became an a$$hole. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Iceburner 0 #18 March 2, 2009 my favorite thing to do in the artillery community is gettin a boot to "callibrate" the M94 (which is a radar gun for a howitzer.....basically). We make him do the "boom test" which involves him running up and down the gun line shouting BOOM at the top of the lungs in full combat gear...it's funny as hell and then we gotta give him a class on the piece of gear and ensure he knows how it works... I've never told anyone to do it, but i've seen some section chiefs do it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darktreader 0 #19 March 2, 2009 QuoteWhen I was in the army we had alot of these old crank phones laying around... So one day we got a newb in our unit and we decided to have some fun with him. So we whipped out the ol crank phone and drilled a small hole in the back of the porta-potty. Ran the wire through the porta-potty and about 35 feet behind it to some trees where three of us had the crank phone. I don't know if any of you know about these old phone but when you crank them then actually shock this shit out of you. So we exposed the two wires and wrapped them around each other. Then we laid in wait for at least 15 minutes for him to get off his shift on guard duty and go to the porta-potty and take a dump. Sure enough here he comes...we wait about 30 seconds for him to be in the 'seated' position, and then we started cranking the crank. The next thing that happened was priceless!! The spark ignited all the methane gas in the porta potta and made a small explosion in the porta potty that blew week old doo-doo and piss all over his ass and the back of his legs. Now that was priceless! you musta heard a story passed down like this, but it most certainly is not true, myth busters already took this MYTH to the test and it can NOT explode. you might as well of said you got a newbie near a gas pump with a cell phone and it blew him up from the tiny electrical current in the phone near the fumes. Myth busters pumped methane gas steady for 30 sec into one and light a flame and no ignition, it wasnt until they sealed it air tight and filled it completely with pure methane gas did it finally ignite."Before we waste time talking and getting to know each other, let's just have sex once and see if we're compatible" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lippy 918 #20 March 2, 2009 QuoteI used to work on the rigs as a safety hand. One day I was on the floor and the driller nudged me. I looked over and laughed. He had the roughneck scrubing drill pipe. And they were running back in the hole that day too! We're setting a cement plug....Can you go to the doghouse and find a cement trough?I got nuthin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gonzalesna 0 #21 March 2, 2009 Sending people off to get 100 feet of flight line or chem light batteries has always been interesting.Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zoobrothertom 5 #22 March 2, 2009 Some common military ones I heard were. 1. Sending them out for a box of grid squares (1 km squared on a map) 2. Sending them over to the next platoon to get a 105 Howitzer blank adapter Did this one myself in my army aviation unit. Helicopters BTW. Sending the newby around to the various platoons looking to borrow the "skid tube puller" or the "skid tube pump." We would call ahead and ensure that each platoon chewed him out and said "Hell No! You fucks from 3rd platoon ain't ever getting our skid tube puller again!! But try # platoon, they might let you borrow theirs." Some funny shit! ____________________________________ I'm back in the USA!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DavidB 0 #23 March 2, 2009 OK, since we have a series of military stories, here's mine: I only had a couple weeks left on my enlistment (I was a two-digit midget! I was so short I could sit on a dime & dangle my feet!), the ship was under way & I was on watch in the engineroom along with my Chief. A kid who reported on board the day before hesitantly comes down the ladder into the noise & heat that is "snipe central" looking around with eyes wide, carrying an empty coffee cup. He yells into my "mouse ears" that he was sent down from the bridge for a cup of starboard running light oil. I told him it was in the storage locker, wait here & look around, I'll be right back. Telling the Chief what I was up to, he hid his smile. I grabbed the cup & ran up to the galley. The cook on duty laughed at my plan, then put 5-6 drops of green food coloring in the cup for me. Adding some water & took the cup of green liquid to the kid still patiently waiting below. I told him to be VERY careful as there was very little left, then sent him back up to the bridge.When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
XitXitXit 0 #24 March 2, 2009 Being in an Airborne company in the army we would have some personnel that were not airborne qualified ( we called them LEGS), one of them being our supply sergeant. Our company commander once told him that he needed to get some canopy lights (so we could do night jumps) and some riser grease. So this guy takes off and drives to Ft. Campbell to get this stuff. When he got there, he stopped in at the base PX to get a soda or something, and see's this guy wearing a maroon beret, signifying that he was also airborne. So our supply sergeant asks him, Hey buddy do you know where I can get some canopy lights, and riser grease? The guy who was a total stranger says sure thing buddy you just go right over to division supply and they should be able to hook you right up... There are no pessimist in skydiving. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,991 #25 March 2, 2009 >On construction jobs, the first thing that you learn is >to never put your hands in your pockets. When I worked at Grumman, that was described as "wearing your Grumman gloves." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
