Why little boys need parents.

[iluvtofly 0]

[iluvtofly 0]

More reasons

[iluvtofly 0]

Last set of reasons...plus a few warnings if you have some little boys of your own.


1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller b lades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 4 2 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'u h oh', it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department inAustin! , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

[millertime24 8]

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25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

And as I was reading that one I was thinking to myself to go to the auto parts store on the way home.

Muff #5048

[Halfpastniner 0]

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25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

And as I was reading that one I was thinking to myself to go to the auto parts store on the way home.

Shit me too!

BASE 1384

[pbwing 0]

Sadly, I've tried quite a few of these things...

Even sadder, it was as an adult...

Particularly the garbage bag is not a parachute, except substitute patio umbrella for garbage bag. Hey, if Mary Poppins can do it, so can I.

And let's not forget the photo of the little boys peeing in the garden - except mine was in a planter in the living room - during my wife's Mary Kay party...

[AggieDave 6]

I have both in my garage, but I already know the outcome.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[beowulf 1]

I have to admit the first thing I thought of was trying that out to see how much somke it would produce!


I'll bet the percentage is higher then 80%!

[BillyVance 34]

I'm guilty of #2 (once) and #8 (multiple times). There's so much more crap that I did that's not depicted in the pictures though.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[nigel99 475]

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5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

that includes skydivers. We were once thrown out of a restaurant as someone thought it was a bright idea to see if you could bat butter balls with the ceiling fan!

Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

[Halfpastniner 0]

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5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

that includes skydivers. We were once thrown out of a restaurant as someone thought it was a bright idea to see if you could bat butter balls with the ceiling fan!

I feel like skydivers being thrown of restaurants might not be a very rare event

BASE 1384

[AggieDave 6]

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I feel like skydivers being thrown of restaurants might not be a very rare event

Skydivers NOT getting thrown out of a restaurant is a rare event, although we're sometimes tolerated because of the bar tab.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[BillyVance 34]

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5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

that includes skydivers. We were once thrown out of a restaurant as someone thought it was a bright idea to see if you could bat butter balls with the ceiling fan!

I feel like skydivers being thrown of restaurants might not be a very rare event

Oh I don't know about that. Skinnyshrek got away with a lot of funny assed shit, but it was his charm that saved him. There's a story on here somewhere about the time a bunch of The Farm jumpers went out to eat. Cell phone porn was part of the story.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Halfpastniner 0]

one night we were out started with a very loud conversation regarding the long ass hair of one of our instructors, and then ended with a different instructor threatening to call INS on our mexican waiter

BASE 1384

[LaRusic 0]

Number 1 just looks like fun, and hey the water will be soft when ya hit it right

and number 8, hell thats every guy....boobs are great

The Altitude above you, the runway behind you, and the fuel not in the plane are totally worthless
Dudeist Skydiver # 10

[BillyVance 34]

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Number 1 just looks like fun, and hey the water will be soft when ya hit it right

and number 8, hell thats every guy....boobs are great

Funny story - a deaf friend of mine had a birthday lunch with his mom and brothers at a Hooters restaurant. The waitress had a nice pair of melons. He was only 21 at the time and hadn't really been out much. He wanted to order chicken wings, but what came out of his mouth while staring directly at her boobs was "I want chicken breasts". His mom laughed her ass off and his brother slapped him in the back of the head.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[turtlespeed 220]

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1- Condoned Behavior! - Parents? Heh - Pads maybe - And a stopwatch . . . odds are he wouldn't make it all the way, but if he did - you'd ned a measuring tape too.
2- Condoned Behavior! - Nothing to worry about - he's not properly grounded and will not complete the circuit with only one conductor.

3- Condoned Behavior! - Why do you have an issue with Crew Dogs?

4- Condoned Behavior! - WHATEVER! Women flock to the restroom in hordes when they are out together - this is bonding - the world is our urinal!

5- Condoned Behavior! - If he raked them, he can do whatever he wants with them, if not, then he needs to run fast.

6- Condoned Behavior! - Simple fun - and it looks like he is trying to appease the "Adults" by making it look like he has finally done what they have been demanding and yelling at him to do from the start.

7- Condoned Behavior! - Everyone knows that water landings are safe as can be. Has anyone ever mentioned over-protectiveness to you?

8- Condoned Behavior! - Encouraged and Praised behavior!!! - Boobies and Beer make the world a better place!

9- Condoned Behavior! - THIS KID IS BRILLIANT! He doesn't have to run far, and yet he still gets to train for the celebration of Winning at end of that big game for the title!

10-Condoned Behavior! - I simply cannot imaging what chastisement you could possibly come up with for this. Are you trying to "Parent" him into a cooking show? Or perhaps a curtain designing seminar?

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[iluvtofly 0]

What about number's 11 through 14?

[BillyVance 34]

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What about number's 11 through 14?

He either overlooked them or he's a slack ass.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[shropshire 0]

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25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

And as I was reading that one I was thinking to myself to go to the auto parts store on the way home.

Shit me too!

I have some the garage ... But haven't got a clue what Clorox is - am I pissed off now?

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[normiss 801]

Find the woman of the house, she knows.

oh, and DOT3.

[shropshire 0]

Is is a brand name from over there?

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[normiss 801]

We have 3 generally used brake fluids with Department of Transportation numbers 3,4,5.
3 is flammable
4 is higher temp
5 is silicone

or as I recall, those are the basics.

[LaRusic 0]

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Is is a brand name from over there?

its just bleach

The Altitude above you, the runway behind you, and the fuel not in the plane are totally worthless
Dudeist Skydiver # 10

[normiss 801]

They've got to learn the language somehow!