SarahC07 0 #26 January 6, 2009 How are they "her" bills? Credit card bills? school loans? cell phone bills? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #27 January 6, 2009 Quote May I suggest the old "Sex for Coach bags and boots" game? And this game is only if you're committed/engaged or married. I would never marry any woman who played that game. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
galvar2439 0 #28 January 6, 2009 QuoteIf you discussed a certain amount a month for bills and she got extra money on top of that, it is hers to use as she wants to. Regardless...this is something your going to have to discuss and work out a plan before you get married...unless you want to keep having this discussion. Personally, I think that there should be three accounts. A joint account, with established amounts from both parties for certain expenses (house, living, food etc.) and two seperate personal accounts. The personal money can go towards anything each person wants to spend it on within reason....clothes, presents, etc. If it is your personal debt that your trying to get rid of...bluntly I see thats your responsibility to pay off not hers to cover for you while you pay it off. Lets get married now! I'll bring the paperwork for the accounts. Your my dream girlSo i just broke up with this woman who wasn't even my girlfriend! Hellfish #782, POPS #10664 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #29 January 6, 2009 Quote wants ot go spend it on clothes instead of picking up the slack on her bills. I make enough to cover us, but have loads of debt I'd like to pay off and other financial obligations. Sounds like it's not the rent money, but her personal bills you're paying for her. Sounds like you're hard pressed to make ends meet for yourself. You have to ask yourself this:Does she appreciate what you do for her and does she empathize with your financial position? Or does she treat you like an ATM and believe that her money is "her money"? Can she be happy saving for tomorrow, or does she need to shop to cheer up? Think about what it'll be after you say "I do." From day one we've done nothing but joint checking, "our money". It works well for us but we have similar goals and frugal spending habits. We travel and skydive, but always on a modest budget, and we're both happy with that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DangerRoo 0 #30 January 6, 2009 Quote Quote May I suggest the old "Sex for Coach bags and boots" game? And this game is only if you're committed/engaged or married. Hey, I need a new gear bag!! What do I need to do? Hee heee I need a container and a helmet (I.C.D#2 VP) ""I'm good with my purple penis straw" ~sky mama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nomal2day 0 #31 January 6, 2009 Quote Quote Quote May I suggest the old "Sex for Coach bags and boots" game? And this game is only if you're committed/engaged or married. Hey, I need a new gear bag!! What do I need to do? Hee heee I need a container and a helmet HAH! Ms McSwervy, you have started something here... So far, there are orders for for a gear bag, a Neptune 3, a container and a helmet (and not some some old Pro-Tec, mind you!) Looks like you will be out of some cash shortly, attending to your requestees! But you sure will have a Cheshire cat satisfied smile on your face!Anybody else need any new gear? (Runs and takes cover behind bar fridge)'To fly is heaven, to freefall is divine' 'You only need 2 tools. WD40 for when it doesn't move but should, and duct tape for when it moves but shouldn't' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #32 January 6, 2009 Quote Quote May I suggest the old "Sex for Coach bags and boots" game? And this game is only if you're committed/engaged or married. I would never marry any woman who played that game. Well, I must admit it started as a joke that we heard on the radio. Those who live in NJ and may have listened to Dennis & Judy on 101.5 may have heard Judy's "sex for boots" discussions. It kinda snowballed from there. As a fun little joke. Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shermanator 4 #33 January 6, 2009 This here, is the problem of people pretending they are married, before they are married.CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08 CSA #720 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnRich 4 #34 January 6, 2009 Quoteso, my fiances of three months and I just had an argument involving the finances. She makes less money than me, but works hard as hell, but just can't seem to make ends meet with the bills, so I take up the slack. that's not the issue. the issue is, she happened to have a little "extra cash" this month and wants ot go spend it on clothes instead of picking up the slack on her bills. I make enough to cover us, but have loads of debt I'd like to pay off and other financial obligations. I don't mind allways being the one to pay when we go out to eat, or what not. But am I an asshole for thinking she should spend her "extra" money on taking up her slack in the bills instead of buying clothes? My 2 cents. If you take her extra cash every time she earns some and use it on bills, she'll lose the motivation to earn extra cash. She deserves to be able to splurge on herself once in a while. Especially if she's working hard. However, yes, she should also contribute some of the extra to the bills sometimes. And hopefully, she would voluntarily do that on her own. Then it's just a question of what ratio becomes acceptable as to when she spends the extra on herself, and when she spends it on bills. How is she otherwise? If she's perfect except for this, I wouldn't worry about it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #35 January 6, 2009 Quote Well, I must admit it started as a joke that we heard on the radio. Those who live in NJ and may have listened to Dennis & Judy on 101.5 may have heard Judy's "sex for boots" discussions. It kinda snowballed from there. As a fun little joke. So how much can I get for a pair of bedroom slippers?"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #36 January 6, 2009 Quote Quote Quote Quote May I suggest the old "Sex for Coach bags and boots" game? And this game is only if you're committed/engaged or married. Hey, I need a new gear bag!! What do I need to do? Hee heee I need a container and a helmet HAH! Ms McSwervy, you have started something here... So far, there are orders for for a gear bag, a Neptune 3, a container and a helmet (and not some some old Pro-Tec, mind you!) Looks like you will be out of some cash shortly, attending to your requestees! But you sure will have a Cheshire cat satisfied smile on your face!Anybody else need any new gear? (Runs and takes cover behind bar fridge) Gear bag = a really, really good backrub. I'm a total sucker for a massage. Container & a Helmet - Well, I can't help you there but I do have a wealthy & single younger brother. Who needed the new Neptune? Hmm... That's worth 2 backrubs. The good ones. Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DangerRoo 0 #37 January 6, 2009 Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote May I suggest the old "Sex for Coach bags and boots" game? And this game is only if you're committed/engaged or married. Hey, I need a new gear bag!! What do I need to do? Hee heee I need a container and a helmet HAH! Ms McSwervy, you have started something here... So far, there are orders for for a gear bag, a Neptune 3, a container and a helmet (and not some some old Pro-Tec, mind you!) Looks like you will be out of some cash shortly, attending to your requestees! But you sure will have a Cheshire cat satisfied smile on your face!Anybody else need any new gear? (Runs and takes cover behind bar fridge) Gear bag = a really, really good backrub. I'm a total sucker for a massage. Container & a Helmet - Well, I can't help you there but I do have a wealthy & single younger brother. Who needed the new Neptune? Hmm... That's worth 2 backrubs. The good ones. ya got my attention on single young brother... lol how old though and is he cute? (I.C.D#2 VP) ""I'm good with my purple penis straw" ~sky mama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #38 January 6, 2009 Just tell her if you come into a little extra money of your own, you're spending it on skydives. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #39 January 6, 2009 Quote Container & a Helmet - Well, I can't help you there but I do have a wealthy & single younger brother. Quote Quote ya got my attention on single young brother... lol how old though and is he cute? He's 38 and he's cute. But.... he wouldn't "let" you skydive. Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DangerRoo 0 #40 January 6, 2009 Quote Quote Container & a Helmet - Well, I can't help you there but I do have a wealthy & single younger brother. Quote Quote ya got my attention on single young brother... lol how old though and is he cute? He's 38 and he's cute. But.... he wouldn't "let" you skydive. lol what does that mean, I see the words but lol its just not making sence (I.C.D#2 VP) ""I'm good with my purple penis straw" ~sky mama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #41 January 6, 2009 Exactly!! He think he's the king of his castle and woman should be at his whim. He thinks he's John fucking Gotti or something like that.Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DangerRoo 0 #42 January 6, 2009 well toss his ass out of a perfectly good plane then!! ya that type wont do for this lil Roo I dont mind makin sammiches and bringin beer but ya cant tell me not to skydive thats just crazy talk... WTF planet are you on is the look he would get as I then eat the sammich and drink the beer that would have been for him, then leave for the dz never to see him again lol (I.C.D#2 VP) ""I'm good with my purple penis straw" ~sky mama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RevJim 0 #43 January 6, 2009 Quote So let me get this straight - you're upset that she's not covering a full 50% of the bills, and now she wants to shopping with a little extra cash she's got? This is the woman you're going to marry, right? What are you going to do when she wants you to buy her a house? Sooner or later she will, and yes, you are buying her a house. The only way it becomes your house is if you stay married, and out live her. You get a divorce - it's her house. You die first - it's her house. See the big picutre? Maybe the new clothes aren't that big of a deal. Usually true, but not always. I'm the anamoly. With her for 16 years, married for 11. Bought the house almost 6 years ago. Getting divorced, and I have the house. Of course, I also have no money, because she has the kids...It's your life, live it! Karma RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #44 January 6, 2009 Marriage... Man's thought: I'm gettin' some free pussy! Woman's thought: I'm gettin' a new house! Lawyer's thought: WooHooo! I'm gettin' a new Porche!My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #45 January 6, 2009 QuoteMarriage... Man's thought: I'm gettin' some free pussy! Woman's thought: I'm gettin' a new house! Lawyer's thought: WooHooo! I'm gettin' a new Porche! Someone please make THIS a sticky!!! (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #46 January 6, 2009 How long has it been since she's gotten something new? How much is she wanting to spend? Are these items she needs or just wants? All of these questions should weigh into the decision as to whether you are an asshole or not.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #47 January 6, 2009 You could always go with the old addage of if you have to ask you are.Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,445 #48 January 6, 2009 Pretty much what he said. If money is both of you guys' money, then all of it should be, or you should have clear boundaries. It's tough to start down the joint money trail, but talking about it regularly when it's not a problem makes it easier to talk about when it is. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #49 January 6, 2009 Quoteso, my fiances of three months and I just had an argument involving the finances. She makes less money than me, but works hard as hell, but just can't seem to make ends meet with the bills, so I take up the slack. that's not the issue. the issue is, she happened to have a little "extra cash" this month and wants ot go spend it on clothes instead of picking up the slack on her bills. I make enough to cover us, but have loads of debt I'd like to pay off and other financial obligations. I don't mind allways being the one to pay when we go out to eat, or what not. But am I an asshole for thinking she should spend her "extra" money on taking up her slack in the bills instead of buying clothes? I have read all the replies in this thread and have a few things to add. Working hard and doing nothing but paying to live is tough. I am sure everyone on this forum has been there at one point. It has been pointed out that you pick up the slack with most the bills and that she works really hard for the income she makes. I am not saying she should blow extra cash but a little even if it is 100 bucks every now and then, what is the problem? I am sure you spend money on extra items you don't tell her about because you justify it as you make more money. If you are upset about a few extra bucks now then what kind of future are you going to have together? Do you clean the house, do the laundry, groc shop, make all the meals, etc? I am sure no is the answer. Not only is she busting her ass at work for little pay she is coming home to do more work. Think about it. Relationships are a partnership and right now it seems like you want her to not have the equal say with extra money she earns and to just hand it over to pay off your debts. If you are so worried about your bills then try not eating out for a few months, taking lunch to work everyday, only driving when you have to, stop buying beer for a month or so. That right there is 200-300 bucks per month.TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nomal2day 0 #50 January 6, 2009 Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote May I suggest the old "Sex for Coach bags and boots" game? And this game is only if you're committed/engaged or married. Hey, I need a new gear bag!! What do I need to do? Hee heee I need a container and a helmet HAH! Ms McSwervy, you have started something here... So far, there are orders for for a gear bag, a Neptune 3, a container and a helmet (and not some some old Pro-Tec, mind you!) Looks like you will be out of some cash shortly, attending to your requestees! But you sure will have a Cheshire cat satisfied smile on your face!Anybody else need any new gear? (Runs and takes cover behind bar fridge) Gear bag = a really, really good backrub. I'm a total sucker for a massage. Container & a Helmet - Well, I can't help you there but I do have a wealthy & single younger brother. Who needed the new Neptune? Hmm... That's worth 2 backrubs. The good ones. Oh, great, I give REALLY good backrubs!! Please make the gear bag the big one from Mirage, in black, with the Mirage logo on the side in red. The Neptune (3, not 2) can be red, blue or black, thank you. I don't want to be fussy(Apologies to OP, I promise to stop going off-topic now)'To fly is heaven, to freefall is divine' 'You only need 2 tools. WD40 for when it doesn't move but should, and duct tape for when it moves but shouldn't' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
