WOW, the shit doesn't stop! Add me to the D List :-(

[flyinhi79 0]

So,

I am in need of some support! I am tripping out here. My wife of 7 years "together for 9 years" decided she wanted a divorce on Wednesday. OMG this rips me apart! We have two kids "6yrs. & 2yrs." and I really thought things were going pretty good!

So, here is what I know. We had a plan for me to work full time and support the family while she went to school and than when she graduated and got a job she would work while I went to school. It seemed like the perfect plan. She graduated a 1.5 years ago and has been working since. We saved some money with both of us bringing in a full time income. My work of 7 years laid me off in August. I was pretty busted up but I got a good package so I figured it might be a good time for me to start school. The first thing I did was talk to my wife. I asked her feelings about it and we crunched the numbers. She agreed with me that it would be a good thing.

So, I signed up for classes and off I was. 3 weeks ago she tells me that she does not like me spending so much time with school and that she wants me to spend more time with her. I told her that I understood and WE came up with a school and study schedule that we both agreed on. Then, on Wednesday I was writing a research paper on health insurance and was stuck. My wife sent me an IM asking how things were. I told her I was stuck and stressed. I told her I was glad to speak with her and that I missed her. She than went into this whole discussion about how this wasn't working! I told her I agreed that I needed to spend more time with her and the kids. Even though I was within the study time we agreed on! I went home and we sat down and started talking. She seemed kind of strange. The next day when she gets home from work she sits down and "THE TALK" happens! She said she just wants to be friends. "HOLY SHIT, I think, not say". How did this happen, I think to myself." I ask her if there is someone else in her life. She said no that she just needs me around more and school just gets in the way. I told her I would take fewer classes next semester but she didn't want to hear it. We agreed we would make this as painless as possible. I told her she could have everything and whatever she didn't want I would take. I told her I would split the costs for our kids "even though I do not work and have no income" to which she said no. That she did not want me to stress about that. I insisted stating that they are my kids as well and I must financially assist as well as be in their lives. She finally agreed.

So, she says the reasons she wants a divorce is because she wants a normal family that both parents work and get home around the same time and everyone spends the nights together. She said she knows I am going to school to better myself and the family but she does not want to deal with that right now.

I think to myself that I got short changed here! I paid for her to go to school and did the very thing she doesn't want to do. I stayed by her side and constantly told her what she was doing was important and good for her AND the family! She has not done/said any of that and now this! I just don't know what to say!

I told her that she is my world and that I would quit school and go back to work full time. She said no because than I will hate her later on for not allowing me to go to school. She said she would hate me if she stayed and I went to school! SUCK!!!

Now, in the 9 years we have been together she has full on cheated once "after the first year" and made out with a guy once "last year". I told her this was sudden and it seemed there was someone else. She said no there wasn't! So me being a total fucking loser log into her cell account and find a number sending and receiving text messages and photo messages throughout the night! I am really so fucking stupid? 3 times? Insert fist here!!!

So, why am I posting here? Well I need advice and opinions and support. I just do not know what to do. Should I even try to make it work? Even though that is not an option right now I am sure it will come up later. I mean, she has been my best friend for years! I can't sleep because I am used to being with her "I know guys make fun of the bitch guy who likes to be close to his wife." I do not feel like I can do this! I am trying to find help and hope somewhere but so far this hasn't worked. What now?

[LOSTandCRAZY 0]

I've been divorced, TWICE.

All I can say????

Skydive your A$$ off......

My ex-wife cheated on me with the whole neighborhood and every friend I had. So I hired a GOOD attorney. Turns out, in some states, that's a CRIME. And leaves you WIDE open to ge the "alienation of affection" judgements against anyone she ever banged. If they don't pay, at least you can attach their property to the judgement and get some cool toys.

Screw nice, that's for suckers. Gotta harden that heart, bro, and get what's yours. Kids? She cheated, you get 'em, that easy, in MOST states.

Go for palimony, too. Women have been handing it to us for years, "We're the cause of all their problems", blah blah blah. Cheating husbands get nailed, and I'm a HUGE believer in equal pay for equal work, so pay THAT PALIMONY, BABY. If I cheated, I'd have to pay....

Also, get legal, signed affadavits FROM the guy(s) she cheated with, if possible.

You will be MUCH happier once you go to your attorney. He can tell you all the little things you need to know. But what you need to DO?

Let her have it, man, because divorce is WAR.

And WAR is hell.... I feel for you, I really do, but hang her A$$.

"Get these balls!"

[psychoswooper 2]

My suggestion. Take a deep breath & know that everything will be OK. Talk to a professional. You have a lot of feelings you need to sort out. This crazy place is not the best place to try to do that.

[skydveraz 0]

Quote

So,

I am in need of some support! I am tripping out here. My wife of 7 years "together for 9 years" decided she wanted a divorce on Wednesday. OMG this rips me apart! We have two kids "6yrs. & 2yrs." and I really thought things were going pretty good!

So, here is what I know. We had a plan for me to work full time and support the family while she went to school and than when she graduated and got a job she would work while I went to school. It seemed like the perfect plan. She graduated a 1.5 years ago and has been working since. We saved some money with both of us bringing in a full time income. My work of 7 years laid me off in August. I was pretty busted up but I got a good package so I figured it might be a good time for me to start school. The first thing I did was talk to my wife. I asked her feelings about it and we crunched the numbers. She agreed with me that it would be a good thing.

So, I signed up for classes and off I was. 3 weeks ago she tells me that she does not like me spending so much time with school and that she wants me to spend more time with her. I told her that I understood and WE came up with a school and study schedule that we both agreed on. Then, on Wednesday I was writing a research paper on health insurance and was stuck. My wife sent me an IM asking how things were. I told her I was stuck and stressed. I told her I was glad to speak with her and that I missed her. She than went into this whole discussion about how this wasn't working! I told her I agreed that I needed to spend more time with her and the kids. Even though I was within the study time we agreed on! I went home and we sat down and started talking. She seemed kind of strange. The next day when she gets home from work she sits down and "THE TALK" happens! She said she just wants to be friends. "HOLY SHIT, I think, not say". How did this happen, I think to myself." I ask her if there is someone else in her life. She said no that she just needs me around more and school just gets in the way. I told her I would take fewer classes next semester but she didn't want to hear it. We agreed we would make this as painless as possible. I told her she could have everything and whatever she didn't want I would take. I told her I would split the costs for our kids "even though I do not work and have no income" to which she said no. That she did not want me to stress about that. I insisted stating that they are my kids as well and I must financially assist as well as be in their lives. She finally agreed.

So, she says the reasons she wants a divorce is because she wants a normal family that both parents work and get home around the same time and everyone spends the nights together. She said she knows I am going to school to better myself and the family but she does not want to deal with that right now.

I think to myself that I got short changed here! I paid for her to go to school and did the very thing she doesn't want to do. I stayed by her side and constantly told her what she was doing was important and good for her AND the family! She has not done/said any of that and now this! I just don't know what to say!

I told her that she is my world and that I would quit school and go back to work full time. She said no because than I will hate her later on for not allowing me to go to school. She said she would hate me if she stayed and I went to school! SUCK!!!

Now, in the 9 years we have been together she has full on cheated once "after the first year" and made out with a guy once "last year". I told her this was sudden and it seemed there was someone else. She said no there wasn't! So me being a total fucking loser log into her cell account and find a number sending and receiving text messages and photo messages throughout the night! I am really so fucking stupid? 3 times? Insert fist here!!!

So, why am I posting here? Well I need advice and opinions and support. I just do not know what to do. Should I even try to make it work? Even though that is not an option right now I am sure it will come up later. I mean, she has been my best friend for years! I can't sleep because I am used to being with her "I know guys make fun of the bitch guy who likes to be close to his wife." I do not feel like I can do this! I am trying to find help and hope somewhere but so far this hasn't worked. What now?

Been there, done that.
Best answer: Dump her.
Don' t waste your money or time.
She has eyes on someone else..
Also, don't waste your time on marriage
consultants. They will bleed you dry!
Just file the papers and be done with it!

Arizona only has two seasons, Hot and HOTTER!

[LOSTandCRAZY 0]

BOOOOOOOOOO................

I didn't say to KICK her a$$, I just said to SUE her a$$ OFF.

Get what's YOURS, homie. Get the kids, AND her income. Hire a nice little Swedish Au' pair with that palimony........

Hells yeah.

"Get these balls!"

[guppie01 0]

Sorry to hear this...

Get an attorney - not to make war, just to protect yourself.

Get some consuling. It's been a long time since you've been alone, and being cheated on can totally mind fuck you. Better yourself.

Do what's best for the children. Make this transparent to them.

Continue with your school, do something good for you!

Good luck!!!

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[LOSTandCRAZY 0]

Counseling is for suckers.

Get some beer, drink it all, and THEN get a good attorney. When you're pissed off, the lawyers get what they need.

Hand it to her. She handed it to you, didn't she? Ripped that heart out, made it bleed, and laughed at you for being a biatch.

Get yours, my man. Get it all. Break her. Make her pay out. Cheating women (and men, too, k? don't misunderstand me here.....) are the lowest form of humanity. She took VOWS, for Jesus' sake, and then she USED those vows to go bang some other dude, and you have KIDS with this biatch! BAD MOMMY! BAD BAD BAD! You were probably babysitting WHILE she was boinking the guy!

She's saying "OH BABY!!!!!", and you're changing the diaper of one!

GET WHAT'S YOURS. Money can't make you happy, but it can DEFINATELY buy a bunch of hookers, which lead to, well, DIFFERENT sorts of happiness, but happiness, nonetheless.

OWN THIS... I have faith in you.

Man toast!

But anyway, here's avideo about that particular subject:

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=8300342

"Get these balls!"

[jtval 0]

She sounds like a cunt to me.
If you had a plan to send her to collage and then she would send you than you should have signed a legal agreement.

You're not the first person I have heard gone through this situation. She sounds selfish, dishonest and not able to be loyal.

Some degree of that may fall on you but If I were you I wouldn't be so quick to please her. (by giving her what she wants)
You already did that.
You gave her a degree.
You gave her your trust.
She gave you a steaming pile of shit.

Now you want to let her have everything, too?
Are you a sucker?

AT A MINIMUM 50/50 split.

If I were her I would want the house,kids,cars and you can have the bills while she moves her new man into the family you built!




Sorry, I had to rant. I had a shitty day too!

My photos

My Videos

[PeregrineFalcon 0]

Lost and Crazy is my new hero. Suing the guys she's banged? LOL! That's some good shit.

To the OP. I was reading your post, thinking to myself, "She's just making excuses. There's another guy." Sure enough, at the bottom of your post, you talk about looking at her cell phone. That's evidence, man. Take that shit to your lawyer. You put her through school. The plan was her putting you through school. That's in jeopardy now. SHE. OWES. YOU.

Get what's yours.

[LOSTandCRAZY 0]

Hero???? Not really, just a guy that's been there, thanks for the kudos though, and it's true:

In most states a cheating spouse's signifigant others can be held liable for damages to the marriage. It's called "alienation of affection". And yes, it's legal. You can break the bastard(s) that she slept with. Or, if it's her MOTHER or Father making her want to divorce you? Surprise, SURPRISE! (sorry for the "Gomer Pyle" quote, that was just WRONG)

"At common law, alienation of affections is a tort action brought by a deserted spouse against a third party alleged to be responsible for the failure of the marriage. The defendant in an alienation of affections suit is typically an adulterous spouse's lover, although FAMILY MEMBERS, counselors, or clergy members who have advised a spouse to seek divorce have also been sued for alienation of affections"

Furhtermore:

"Prior marital problems do not establish a defense unless such unhappiness had reached a level of negating love between the spouses."


If her psychologist advised it? Guess what? You now own a clinic. Sue THOSE fuckers, especially. They settle out of court, for MILLIONS.

See? Men get so belittled by women's rights, that they forget that they, as well, have them.

MAKE THE FUCKER PAY, Bro.

And get your kids, you didn't fuck up, here, she's a cheating, bad excuse for the sanctity of marriage BIATCH. She can't fuck you, and you only? What, she tripped, fell down, and landed on his DICK? She can't keep her pants ON when she SWORE TO DO SO BEFORE GOD?????

Then she can't be responsible for the well-being of a child, either, and THAT'S THE LAW. SUE EVERYBODY.

Get yours, my man. GET IT ALL.

"Get these balls!"

[guppie01 0]

Bitter much???

I don't discount that the OP deserves his share... he did sacrifice a great deal for his soon-to-be ex wife... but raging all holy hell puts the children through undue, unjust pain - do two wrongs make a right???

He is not the only party involved in this scenario. Children can be the worst victims in ugly divorces, and it can easily be avoided by being a bigger and better person. That doesn't mean being a doormat, that means being a gentleman.

I hope one day your heart will heal so that you dont carry so much hatred.

Once again, good luck to the OP.

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[peanut4040 0]

DUDEEEEEE,,,
We need to talk. I think I can help,

Rule one: Don't listen to what she is "saying". Look at what she is "doing". Her actions are telling the truth, not her tongue

i.e. IF she says she is not going out for the weekend, and you find a suit case packed in the closet with all her good stuff. ?? She is going out.

Its a good day to LIVE, why puck up a good thing.

There is no reply in aad section for. " hell no i would not put an AAD on my back"

[LOSTandCRAZY 0]

Don't listen to her, she's trying to mke you remain level-headed, which will get you FUCKED.

GET MAD. It's the best way to get even, and REMAIN even. SHE CHEATED, you didn't. SHE'S WRONG, you're not. Own that.

His share? HIS SHARE? His share is EVERYTHING, that's his share. SHE CHEATED! SHE RUINED A MARRIAGE!

She could have waited until after a divorce to land on onother guy's dick.

Like the AFF instructors say as concerning landing patterns:

"If you look at it, you will land on it"

(She just happened to look at a guy's dick and land on it. Poor HER, waaaaaaaaaaah, cry me a river.)

Two wrongs DON'T make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.....

And the rest, is skydiving history!

"Get these balls!"

[dynamicedge 0]

Fuck a lot of women.

[PeregrineFalcon 0]

I love you, man.

"DID YOU EVER KNOW THAT YOU'RE MY HEEEEEROOOOOO?"

[PeregrineFalcon 0]

Quote

Fuck a lot of women.

Duh

[ladydyver 0]

I am so sorry that you are going through this...it does totally suck to be in that situation. Don't give up on school....it will make you happier in the long run. Make sure that you take care of yourself and of course your kids. Hugs to you

DPH # 2
"I am not sure what you are suppose to do with that, but I don't think it is suppose to flop around like that." ~Skootz~
I have a strong regard for the rules.......doc!

[LOSTandCRAZY 0]

Hugs? HUGS???????

Maybe his soon-to-be ex-wife should have hugged HIS dick, instead of the other guys' dick.....

Follow MY advice, and you'll be hugging A) Your lawyer, B) Your Kids, and C), All of the hookers that your ex-wife will be paying for in PALIMONY.

So I guess I kind of agree.

HUGS ARE GOOD. (Just make sure that it's the Swedish Au' pair that your EX-WIFE IS PAYING FOR)

SHE CHEATED!!!! BAD HER!!!!

It's unforgivable, legally.

And furthermore, legally?

IT'S A CRIME!

"Get these balls!"

[guppie01 0]

I feel bad for you....

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[LisaH 0]

Quote

Don't listen to her, she's trying to mke you remain level-headed, which will get you FUCKED.

GET MAD. It's the best way to get even, and REMAIN even. SHE CHEATED, you didn't. SHE'S WRONG, you're not. Own that.

His share? HIS SHARE? His share is EVERYTHING, that's his share. SHE CHEATED! SHE RUINED A MARRIAGE!

She could have waited until after a divorce to land on onother guy's dick.

Like the AFF instructors say as concerning landing patterns:

"If you look at it, you will land on it"

(She just happened to look at a guy's dick and land on it. Poor HER, waaaaaaaaaaah, cry me a river.)

Two wrongs DON'T make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.....

And the rest, is skydiving history!

Wow.

Be yourself!
MooOOooOoo

[flyinhi79 0]

This is wild! I am actually happier having posted this because the replies are freaking great. Some supportive others saying it will be ok and you, well pretty much say to reduce her down to burger flipping.

I do not care about stuff! It can be replaced with newer stuff. I want my kids to love both my wife and I. As long as we can do this without getting nasty, I will do everything I can. I do not HATE her. It is what it is. I just get stressed out sometimes and I do not want that stress to cause me to act stupid or say something stupid.

LostAndCrazy,

It sounds like you had a really rough divorce! How long ago was it?

Anyways, I really appreciate all the people on here taking time out of their busy day to help me out!

[PeregrineFalcon 0]

"Who steals my purse steals trash; tis something, nothing; 'twas mine, 'tis his, and has been slave to thousands; but he that filches from me my good name robs me of that which not enriches him,
and makes me poor indeed." -Othello, A3; S3

Of course, Iago is playing Othello for a fool when he says this to him. So, go ahead and steal her purse...and her good name!

"Busy days"? I was just watching football, doing laundry and working out.

[Andy9o8 2]

With all due respect to the others, this is the most important guidance you'll get (and I'm an attorney):

- Get into a divorce attorney's office IMMEDIATELY. Today's Sunday, so as far as I'm concerned, that means no later than the close of business this Tuesday. If you delay, you're doing yourself a HUGE disservice.

- DO NOT take legal advice from ANYONE who is not an attorney - PERIOD - NO EXCEPTIONS!! I cannot stress this enough.

- If your state has divorce mediation, and if your divorce issues can be amicably mediated rather than litigated, great! It's usually less painful and less costly. But at best, mediation is Step #2. Step #1 is get your butt into a divorce attorney's office NOW. Even if you don't get into full-blown litigation, you can't mediate properly until you fully understand ALL of your (and her) legal rights, obligations and options, and that won't happen until you sit down with an attorney.

[drdive 0]

Finally, some good advice.



Peregrine falcon is close behind him IMHO.

To the OP, follow Andy9o8's advice, and get an attorney to protect you. And don't look for legal advice on DZ.com - you get what you pay for here.

Doc

"We saved your gear. Now you can sell it when you get out of the hospital and upsize!!" "K-Dub"

"

[SassyCassie 0]

Quote

Get into a divorce attorney's office IMMEDIATELY. Today's Sunday, so as far as I'm concerned, that means no later than the close of business this Tuesday. If you delay, you're doing yourself a HUGE disservice.

I've seen this with my father's last marriage. She can parade around town and consult with all of the best lawyers in your area, ultimately f*ing you over. Speaking with someone asap will cover you, no matter if this thing gets nasty or not.

I think I've found a way for you and I to finally fly free.
When we get there, we're gonna fly so far away.
Making sure to laugh; while we experience anti-gravity.