downwardspiral 0 #26 October 29, 2008 Why do people make things so complicated? This guy is not your friend if he'll betray your trust like he did and especially for no reason. Not only that but now you are scared of him. You need to get out of that relationship and quick.www.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #27 October 29, 2008 Anyone who would violate my personal space and privacy like that would no longer be considered a friend. There is no excuse for it and asking why is a waste of time. Stay away from him and move on. If he's done this, who knows what else he might do.Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airathanas 0 #28 October 29, 2008 I don't know the whole situation so I can only comment on what I have learned thus far... ...sounds to me like they are very charasmatic and they have taken advantage of your trust. Does this person have any psychological disorders? You mentioned that "he is so up and down." This is indicative of bipolar disorder. But I can't just to any conclusions because of my limited knowledge of the situation. This could be a VERY dangerous situation that is beyond friendship, and may even lead to stalking. If I were you I would cut off all relations with this person and take a self-defense class. Seriously- be careful. http://3ringnecklace.com/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #29 October 29, 2008 I wasn't meaning you to post it all here, although some people have. Have you two ever had a fight before? You can tell a lot about a person by how they argue or act when "caught". There are two reasons I like to know why someone does something: 1. Their explanation and reasoning (or lack of) gives insight into their thought processes. 2. I want to see if I can see their point. I don't have to agree, but like to see how what they knew and/or didn't know may have lead them there. He may be angry that you're angry, because he may not see your point. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #30 October 29, 2008 QuoteThere is no excuse for it and asking why is a waste of time. Excuse, no. Explanation, yes. Asking why is not a waste of time. If anything it can very educational to possible "warning signs" to look for in the future with others or maybe behaviors one may consider thinking about changing in themselves. It doesn't mean you have to trust the person anymore or continue as things never happened. Dropping someone cold without giving them reasoning or a chance to explain their actions does no good to anyone and can lead to obsession and stalking.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
neediforget 0 #31 October 29, 2008 ok both those last two statements makes a lot of sense to me, he has openly agreed to violent reactions, and i just put it down to oh he is a man and trying to look manly in front of me. But...openly agreeing to violence to both sexes which is where i begin to question things. He has the oddest reactions, i was at the time in a state of shock, like i was crying out of control. All he did was violently react, saying things that dont make sense, he actually turned into someone COMPLETLY different, like his reaction was more shocking than the gross act itself. Its weird eh, i am so confused, he is such a nice wonderful guy for years! and then this?? this is why i find it so hard and im trying to hold back my anger over what happened. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #32 October 29, 2008 You've got more patience than I. The OP said when she confronted him, he behaved abusively. Why he did it doesn't matter in my opinion, it shouldn't have happened in the first place. What explanation could validate it?Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #33 October 29, 2008 QuoteIm stuck in an awful situation, i wish i knew how to react I don't get what is so difficult about this. Stop communicating with him, period. If he doesn't leave you alone, get a restraining order. Take it as far as you need to go to keep him away from you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HellRaiser 0 #34 October 29, 2008 QuoteHow do i deal with this in the future with this person Sleep with him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #35 October 29, 2008 Quote You've got more patience than I. The OP said when she confronted him, he behaved abusively. Why he did it doesn't matter in my opinion, it shouldn't have happened in the first place. What explanation could validate it? Maybe, but I kinda hafta unless I switch teams... Even if the evidence seems damning, I still give people a chance to "defend" themselves. There's different ways to confront people. And different people react different ways. Some when "attacked for no reason" (their perspective) defend themselves with equal or greater "force." What explanation could validate it? I don't know. And because I don't know I give them a chance to explain themselves. What they do with that chance is entirely up to them, but in the end there are usually no misunderstandings.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gemini 0 #36 October 29, 2008 Get out while you can. This sounds like a classic control freak and more often than not, turns into an abuser. Change your locks, move or whatever, but get out now. Blue skies, Jim Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #37 October 29, 2008 QuoteQuoteIm stuck in an awful situation, i wish i knew how to react I don't get what is so difficult about this. Stop communicating with him, period. If he doesn't leave you alone, get a restraining order. Take it as far as you need to go to keep him away from you. While that may be needed in some extreme cases, it's not the best first route. Try to make them understand why first. Ignoring people does not make them go away. It usually just makes things worse and may push them over the edge. Theoretically you could take someone who is confused and just wants some answers or closure and turn them into the kind of person you do need a restraining order against. I'm not saying you have to be alone with them, but at least hear them out in a public place or via email or phone.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #38 October 29, 2008 I don't think she's ignoring him. Quoted from her original post: "I feel violated and when i approach the subject the person threw massive abuse my way and was very aggressive." Why subject herself to this by trying to find out why and give them a chance to explain? All they can honestly say is, 'I was being nosey and deleted your stuff because I'm an ass.'Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #39 October 29, 2008 QuoteAll they can honestly say is, 'I was being nosey and deleted your stuff because I'm an ass.' You don't know that. I don't know that. She doesn't know that. Regardless of the reason for looking possibly the deletion was accidental.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
neediforget 0 #40 October 29, 2008 no the deletion was no accident that was very cleaver and specifically done, certain calls, messages, etc, he knew what he was doing. im so fed up, its just all a mess. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #41 October 29, 2008 Get rid of him - entirely. Stop emails, phone calls, etc. If he has keys to your place, change your locks. If he knows passwords, change them. If you have an alarm system that he knows the code to, change it (them). Do not continue having anything to do with the individual. It will get worse if you continue hanging out with the individual. Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #42 October 29, 2008 Why not just Lojack him and give him a shock if he come within a mile of her. If this is a trusting friend they may know "nuclear weapons" information about each other. The last thing you want to do is put someone in a situation where they feel the have nothing to lose except as a last ditch effort. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #43 October 29, 2008 QuoteHow do i deal with this in the future with this person?? If there is a future with this person you are a moron Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
neediforget 0 #44 October 29, 2008 im kind of agreeing with ya. How do i do this with him always at the same DZ and he is a very popular guy, big name on the DZ. This might be harder than i think. If he is to go further, say nab my laptop etc, then their's my car my kit etc... i need to keep him sweet, i have no idea what kinda freaks are out there but im so tawn that i think he is such a wonderful guy at the same time, or so i think. it could be nothing or something big... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #45 October 29, 2008 You're incapable of making a simple decision. Skydiving might not be right for you. If you had to come here to decide this, you're wacked. After all these posts and you still can't decide? You need more help than he does. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
neediforget 0 #46 October 29, 2008 wow...what a helpful responce, i dont need to say my jump numbers, im suited to the sport. I think that responce is pretty hurtful. Im asking my skydiving brothers and sisters because my decision over a so called friend does not mean I am going to give up my life which is skydiving. I am asking because i am in a tricky situation. Maybe you should consider thinking before writing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #47 October 29, 2008 I think we're done here. You're hopeless. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #48 October 29, 2008 Quote I think we're done here. You're hopeless. That was extremely cruel. You owe her an apology!! Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #49 October 29, 2008 Pipe down whuffo. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phildthedildo 0 #50 October 29, 2008 kick him in the nuts! if you dont wanna do that, i know where you can get his legs broken..LOL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
