Fake skydiver of the day

[Dougiefresh 0]

That's the problem with these here internets. Humor doesn't always translate.

Whether you were joking or not, your response was pretty funny. Put me in my place and made me laugh.

You old farts sure are cute when you get ornery.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. --Douglas Adams

[galvar2439 0]

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Might keep an eye on this guy. Remember the Movie Falling Down (1993) Michael Douglas. Whew...man.

yeah, yeah, think about it!

So i just broke up with this woman who wasn't even my girlfriend!

Hellfish #782, POPS #10664

[skybill 22]

Hi Nick,
Thanks!

SCR-2034, SCS-680

III%,
Deli-out

[skybill 22]

Hi Dougie,
Slam me upside the head with a great big whuffo pie why don't ya!!! If you really think I'm a whuf then I guess I've been living a great big lie all these years like all those other psychopathic liers! Only trouble is that all the people I've Skydived with over the years must be psychopathic liers too!!!! Now, lets see, these are licenses and wings that I "DON'T" have...Got that? B-4240, C-3114, D-6009, SCR-2034, SCS-680, AFF JM & I, GW-1367, DW-532, DDW-451, 12HR-757, 24HR-210, 36HR-147, 48HR-168, 60HR-230, POPS#3305 Freak Brother# 1495, French SCR 1024, WSCR-371, member in good standing with AIR TRASH, oh yes and USPA# "356"...My last parachute job before I "retired" in May was with SunPathContracting in Raeford where I was a final inspector for Military and Sport "Javelins" 'ya can ask Pat and Derick and I'm sure they'll say they never knew me!!,and before I worked for Irvin, I worked for Weber Aircraft in Burbank CA on the ACES II ejection seat program and Douglas Aircrafr Co in Long Beach, CA also on the ACES II ejection seat program and before that for Grumman Aerospace Bethpage NY on the F-14 IRAN program back in '76 in Iran. And if you've ever seen the twin tailed Tomcat insignia with the Tomcat sporting two tails and the gun belt to you I say the saying at the bottom,"ANYTIME BABY!!!"

SCR-2034, SCS-680

III%,
Deli-out

[Dougiefresh 0]

Whoa! Woke the sleeping giant!

You oldtimers just love to prove how long you've been living in a trailer. I think it's hysterical.

***END STUPIDITY***

All right, I'll stop joking around.

I have nothing but respect and admiration for you and Nick and Twardo and Bill and all the guys who did insane genius things for the sport. You've earned your beer, as far as I'm concerned.

Any one of you has a case with your name on it. With credentials, of course. We don't want any fratboy retards drinking the good stuff.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. --Douglas Adams

[maxmadmax 8]

I was at a party and a dude says he is a skydiver.

So I play the part of a wuffo and ask on!

He tells me that static line is the way to go and he does his from 17,000 feet on a regular basis.

At that point I walk away just LMAO......

The dude left the party....

Don't go away mad....just go away!

[mdrejhon 8]

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You're just jealous because he has a more expensive wingsuit and you don't jump a 25ft canopy.
Wuss.

Ask him if he meant a 25 square-foot square canopy.... or.... a good old 25 foot round canopy.

[dixiegypsy 0]

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Now I wonder if this guy is telling his buddies on his own forum, "Wow, I totally fooled this skydiver into thinking I'm a skydiver! He never caught on!"

hahahah

"Love all. Trust few. Do wrong to none." -Shakespeare

Gold Coast Skydivers
Pink Mafia #176

[pbwing 0]

Classic!!!

Similar thing happened to me.

Him: "So you jump?"

Me: "Yeah, how long you been jumping?"

Him: "6 years."

Me: "Nice, where you jump at?"

Him: "Petawawa, ON"

Me: (BS Detector engages - still low levels detected)"Didn't they close the DZ there a few years ago"

Him: "No, we were just there"

Me: "I'm pretty sure they are closed. The place I jump bought all their gear - including the aircraft."

Him: "We jump on the military base."

Me: (BS Detector reading dangerous levels)"Really!!"

Him: "Yeah, we jump onto the DZ there."

Me: "Wow. What do you jump from?"

Him: "Chinooks"

Me: (BS Detector explodes) "Awesome!! What are you jumping?"

Him: "What do you mean?"

Me: "What is your canopy?"

Him: "It's square."

Me: (quickly loosing patience)"No shit!! What kind is it? Sabre? Stiletto?"

Him: (blink, blink) "I don't know, but it's cool, it's got a spider web design on the top. But it's all full of paint"

Me: "Paint? What happened?"

Him: "We fly our parachutes around and fire paintballs at each other."

Me: (repaint my office with a mouthful of coffee)



Sadly, that gave it away. He kinda sulked away and went out of his way to avoid me from then on...

I think people like this lack that little voice that says "Dude, shut the fuck up!! This guy knows way more about this shit that we do!!!!"

[popsjumper 2]

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Hi Dougie,
Slam me upside the head with a great big whuffo pie why don't ya!!! .....

Ok...you asked for it.


So I see you have a skydiving buddy who provided you with all that info to help you sound real. I'll bet you only have a tandem video to show for it...at the most.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[377 22]

Some posers are much more subtle. There is a guy in my area who has a big macho raised truck with various skydiving and DZ and USPA stickers plastered all over the rear window. He has ONE tandem jump.

2018 marks half a century as a skydiver. Trained by the late Perry Stevens D-51 in 1968.

[Krstnparker 0]

You mean it's not advisable to jump at 25,000 with a wing suite and to keep renting with 3,000 jumps?

I'm just starting out - 6 and counting

~I knew exactly where it was, I just couldn't find it.~
http://www.flickr.com/photos/krstnparker/

[RALFFERS 0]

I don't understand... The question has been raised a few times here, and countless times over the course in many other threads - why do people feel the need to lie?

I've been asked a few times if I jump, or have intentions of pursuing the sport: to the 1st question the answer is always "no" or "Aspiring" while to the 2nd I respond "yes" - because in fact as soon as everything comes into place I will indeed pursue the sport. Anyway my point is, I'm doing this for no one other than me; I don't care what people think, or what they don't think...and I surely do not feel the need to lie for any reason. Until I get to where I need to be I'll be a tunnel rat I'm more than ok with that.

Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself -

"from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of

[pirana 0]

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You're lyin...I can tell because you keep talking about other people lyin and that tells me you're better at lyin than the other people lyin.
I ain't lyin...

Man: "You're lying."

Woman: "How can you tell?"

Man: "Because your lips are moving."

Can'r remember where that is from.

" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

[Broke 0]

What is a french SCR... is that where everyone is limp in the wrists?

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[thesaint 0]

Ok I'd stay away from this guy cause he is scary. He knows that you jump and still launches off into this BS story.

Yikes.....

"If a thousand people agree on a dumb ideal, it's STILL a dumb ideal."

Skully Bro #1 - POPS# 10440

[airathanas 0]

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Quote

You're lyin...I can tell because you keep talking about other people lyin and that tells me you're better at lyin than the other people lyin.
I ain't lyin...

Man: "You're lying."

Woman: "How can you tell?"

Man: "Because your lips are moving."

Can'r remember where that is from.

It's from the moive, "Who's that Girl?" with Madonna. Such a great movie!

http://3ringnecklace.com/

[skybill 22]

Hi broke,
Not hardly, the star would fall apart!! The French SCR is the French R/W achievement award. And so the story goes, some years ago at Old Elsinore a bunch of jumpers were trying to get Larry Yohn (lost his left leg in a motorcycle crash) his "French SCR." I was looking for a hop and got on the load. It seems that at the time in France if you had "any" body parts (arms, legs, even part of a finger!!) missing, the FPA (French Parachute Assoc.) would NOT let you jump there. So, to qualify for the "French SCR," 2 jumpers on the load had to have French SCR's in this case it was Bill Hallum and Sandy Callahan. The idea being that armed with the French SCR, Larry who was going back to France could "Prove" his ability in the air and they would let him jump there!! As I recall, Al (Capt. Hook!!) Krueger and his brother Bud were involved too. They were also trying out this new fangled air-to-ground video sys. (Kinda like the ones they used at the Seoul Olimpic Rings Dive) We had lots of fun and this was also the first(I know case of beer) time I docked on Al and picked up the "HOOK!!" Well, we got the SCR but Larry went low, (sorry about that) 'Twas a year or so later when the French 4-way girls team was at Perris to train. One of them was the secretary for the French SCR and either Al, Bill or Sandy approached them about our endeavour and she wrote up our apps. and we got the card and the French SCR patch. That's the deal. 'Ya don't hear much anymore about things like French SCR's WSCR's (women's SCR) And if it wasn't for Roger, everyone would think a "Freak Brother" was one of those furry cartoon characters from the 60's!! 'Dug out Log#7 Jump#863, 12JUN77, Elsinore, DC-3, Wonderhog/Stratostar, 11000', 55SD,7hr,37mn,39sec, 12-Round try French SCR, Me, Bill Hallum, Sandy Callahan, D-Ray, Larry Yohn, Al Krueger, Gary Young, Barry Stenger, Mike Klandorf,Randy Irson, Nicky Lewis, ??....Got 10 in Gary and Larry out, went out #4, went low, got back up and closed #10. Got a kiss pass with Sandy. Next jump same line up except my wife Chris was in for Mike, Star built to 7 with Barry Stenger on wrists at breakoff. So what else do you want to know??....

BTW, If you still think I'm a lying sack of s#$%t then check out the names that I posted some of whom you know who they are unless you are a total geek!! Give them a call and ask them!!!

SCR-2034, SCS-680

III%,
Deli-out

[marcandalysse 0]

come on now, why even bother?

I noticed on our internal website that a woman I work with listed skydiving as one of her hobbies, so I sent her a friendly email asking 'I heard you like skydiving....where do you skydive?'......she wrote back scolding me to only send work related emails.

if she was really 'one of us', wouldn't she have sent a friendlier reply? hmmm.....

mp

"The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly." --GK Chesterton

[BillyMongilly 0]

I knew a guy at the place I used to work who was a fake pilot. He'd always talk about the Piper Cub he used to own back in the fifties, but he claimed he "let his pilot's license expire" "flew back in the days when you didn't need a pilot's license" and learned from the "National stunt champion of '57, '58 and '59."

Needless to say I didn't believe a word of it but played along with him so that way he was the fool.

How high are we going? Oh about 9000. Oh Mr. Pilot! How high are we going? Oh about 12000! That's the ticket!

[popsjumper 2]

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So what else do you want to know??....

BTW, If you still think I'm a lying sack of s#$%t then check out the names that I posted some of whom you know who they are unless you are a total geek!! Give them a call and ask them!!!

Wow! This post reads like somebody seems to have a severe problem with self-esteem.

EVERYBODY!
Pleases do not joke around with Mr. Bill. He does not appreciate that type of humor. I haven't figured out just what type of humor he does apprecaite, but maybe he'll let us know.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[The_Don 0]

That's the Andy that I first met!
Let it ride, let's have some fun.

Good to see this side of you ...

Psst. don't forget to tell jean happy happy. shhhhhh.

I am NOT being loud.
I'm being enthusiastic!

[suzyellow 0]

So funny

Love Life

[airtwardo 7]

Quote

Whoa! Woke the sleeping giant!

You oldtimers just love to prove how long you've been living in a trailer. I think it's hysterical.

***END STUPIDITY***

All right, I'll stop joking around.

I have nothing but respect and admiration for you and Nick and Twardo and Bill and all the guys who did insane genius things for the sport. You've earned your beer, as far as I'm concerned.

Any one of you has a case with your name on it. With credentials, of course. We don't want any fratboy retards drinking the good stuff.

Yeah sure...group ME in with those OLD GUYS!


I met .commer 'AFFI' at the bar a few weeks ago...

He said he thought I'd be 'older', 'bigger' &...more Colombian?



I keep tellin' everybody...it's not the years~ IT'S THE MILES!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[airtwardo 7]

Every day I see this guy for the rest of my life, I'm going to ask him another question just to see what kind of response he comes up with.

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"Can't hit a curve ball to save his life!"


It's just as funny when ya work it the other way.

We had just finished a night demo some place in Ohio, the four of us went into a pizza place for some beer & grub...it was a Saturday night and it was the hot local hangout I guess...place was full of people partying.

We're decked out in our 'uniforms' having just come from the show site...one of the guys on the team was a real 'Lance Romance' and was hitting on every girl in the place...the ole 'PROFESSIONAL Skydiving Demonstration Team' line.

My buddy had this gorgeous blond girl 'on the line & setting the hook' for like 3/4 of an hour telling her all about skydiving...she was really eatin it up.

I walked up to the bar for another pitcher and he introduces me to the lady, telling her I have the most experience on the team doing night pyro shows....even burned up a parachute one time!

What the fuck are you bullshittin' about THIS TIME...I asked.

Blondie proceeds to tell me all about our parachute team, noting the matching uniforms we're wearing that say 'Liberty Parachute' on them...

I rolled my eyes and told her... No, we're a SOFT BALL team...we're sponsored by a bunch of parachuter guys that use the league to advertise or somethin'...



My buddy's jaw dropped faster than a cheerleader's panties on prom night...the pretty lady looked at him like he owed her money.....I grabbed the beer and went back to the table!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~