buksi 0 #1 August 13, 2008 I'm an "old poster" posting under a pseudo name to protect, well, I don't really know what I'm protecting. I got married less than a year ago to a man I love dearly and I think it's or it was(?) mutual. I never been the jealous type, but lately I've been having gnawing suspicions about a particular female friend of his. There have been a lot of texting, some calls, but never when I'm around. (We have a joint cell phone plan and I pay the bill online) My husband always liked his time alone but now I'm not sure if he is really alone during those hours. We were out on Sunday together, he received a text, and when we returned home, he disappeared for a few hours. When I asked him where he was he said he needed some solitary time. We were planning on moving closer to our work and when I brought it up recently he got snappy and pushed it out to January. (I thought the original plan was fall) I'm planning on talking to him about this tonight, but I know he will just get defensive, call me jealous or walk out. What do you all think? Is he two-timing me? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
downwardspiral 0 #2 August 13, 2008 I honestly can't say whether or not your husband is cheating. I can say what you're describing of your husbands behavior is rather odd and tells me the the relationship isn't in a healthy place. Sounds like he is pulling away but that doesn't mean he is cheating.www.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kenz 0 #3 August 13, 2008 from personal experience - trust your gut - 9 times out of 10 you're not wrong - and DEFINITELY talk to him - if he can't talk to you rationally without getting super snappy and defensive i'd be a little more suspicious - and ask him why he feels the need to be so sneaky about her - if there was nothing wrong he wouldn't hide it from you - that's just my opinion though - there is also a chance that it's nothing - but really the most important thing to do - just talk good luck"life does throw curveballs sometimes but it doesn't mean we shouldn't still swing for the homerun" ~ me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NickDG 23 #4 August 13, 2008 Driving yourself crazy with worry is the worse thing which ever way it works out. Hire a private detective to follow him and be done with it . . . NickD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davidhb63 0 #5 August 13, 2008 Talk nicely and see what comes out of it. If he is very defensive you probably have your answer. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guppie01 0 #6 August 13, 2008 The behavior does seem odd... perhaps when talking to him try approaching it from a different direction i/o immediately putting him on the spot. Put your fears and weaknesses on the table (not about the fear of him cheating - the fear that you are losing touch with each other, etc.), put your love and devotion out on the table. Look for him to secure long term goals together... if this isn't something he is interested in, or shows avoidance towards, then I'd ask him where he sees the marriage heading and what his wants needs and desires are for the two of you. Good luck! g"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Beerlight 0 #7 August 14, 2008 Quote Driving yourself crazy with worry is the worse thing which ever way it works out. Hire a private detective to follow him and be done with it . . . NickD Ding ding ding.....we have a solution. I bet Yardhippie says it's pathetic....... that you should talk to your SO, that if you can't do that, then you never had a strong relationship. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #8 August 14, 2008 Quote Quote Driving yourself crazy with worry is the worse thing which ever way it works out. Hire a private detective to follow him and be done with it . . . NickD Ding ding ding.....we have a solution. pathetic really. yes, spend money, time and worry on a PI that could care less about your position rather than TALKING to you SO. If you dont have the ability to step up and talk to your SO then maybe it was never supposed to be. If you cant talk to your SO about everything then you are succeptable to the pitfalls of worry, guilt and jelousy. I'll be the first to tell ya that I dont have the best relationship in the world but I have known my SO since Jan 7, 1994. We have been married for nearly 8 years and I am the random variable of our relationship. I dont come home. I stay at my friends homes (male and female). I run around with many females and sleep (only sleep) with a few of them. We have honest and open conversations. She knows everything. If you ask and get nothing. You're in trouble. Be honest, be open. deal with the demons now rather than later.Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell666 0 #9 August 14, 2008 Quote Quote Quote Driving yourself crazy with worry is the worse thing which ever way it works out. Hire a private detective to follow him and be done with it . . . NickD Ding ding ding.....we have a solution. pathetic really. yes, spend money, time and worry on a PI that could care less about your position rather than TALKING to you SO. If you dont have the ability to step up and talk to your SO then maybe it was never supposed to be. If you cant talk to your SO about everything then you are succeptable to the pitfalls of worry, guilt and jelousy. I'll be the first to tell ya that I dont have the best relationship in the world but I have known my SO since Jan 7, 1994. We have been married for nearly 8 years and I am the random variable of our relationship. I dont come home. I stay at my friends homes (male and female). I run around with many females and sleep (only sleep) with a few of them. We have honest and open conversations. She knows everything. If you ask and get nothing. You're in trouble. Be honest, be open. deal with the demons now rather than later. Worth repeating. And to the OP ... hope it works out. 'Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
