Friday Funny

[wmw999 2,529]

It's a website, but it's funny as all get-out.
Not a political ad: Send Barack Your Baby

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[sickandtwisted 0]

An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."

The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."

With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.

The man says, "I want two more of these."

Skymama stalker #69!!!!

[sickandtwisted 0]

A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and
asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the
restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"


The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus
a cup of coffee, on him.


The next patron to come in was a Libertarian with a hunched back. He
shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a
cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that
Jesus over there?"


The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot
tea, "My treat."


The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches.
He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, honey! How's
about gettin' me a cold glass of Miller Light?" He, too, looked across the
restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?"


The waitress once more nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus
a cold glass of beer. "On my bill," he said.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and
said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength
come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your
kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up,
and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out
the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and yelled,

"Don't touch me. I'm collecting disability."

Skymama stalker #69!!!!

[Andy_Copland 0]

You cant beat a good Irish joke (fuck the Irish)

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[sickandtwisted 0]

Well....You can replace 'An Irishman' with 'A Skydiver' & it would still be funny.

Skymama stalker #69!!!!

[Andy_Copland 0]

No, dont ever replace the Irishman.

Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are at work.

Englishman opens his lunch and says "For fuck sake, tomatoes again. I fucking hate tomatoes. If she makes this again im gonna jump off a bridge."

Scotsman open his lunch and says "That fucking women, shes gave me tuna, i hate tuna. If she makes me tuna again tomorrow i'll join ya off that bridge."

Irishman opens his lunch and sure enough he is not a happy paddy, "Cheese? i'll give that women a black eye when i get home i fucking hate cheese. If she does this again tomorrow im jumping too."

Sure enough the next day comes and the Englishman has tomatoes and takes the plunge to his death, followed by the scotsman who has tuna and finally the Irishman who has cheese.

At the funeral the wives are gathered and the Englishman's wife is weeping and says "i had no idea he hated tomatoes" and the Scotsmans wife joined in with "oh my god im cant believe hes gone, i thought he liked tuna fish."

Finally the Irish mans wife says "Well i dont know why he fucking jumped, he makes his own sandwiches"

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[millertime24 8]

Muff #5048

[Andy_Copland 0]

No replies?" i've been out beering and no replies to fuck the Irish?-

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[lilDevil 2]

BOOBIES

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" Cant keep a good woman down "
Angels have wings, but devils can fly !