SkydiveStMarys 0 #1 February 8, 2008 can be so rotten towards each other. My 12, soon to be 13 (he is 5'7 1/2 150lbs) , year old son came home with bruises up and down his upper arm, crying and telling me he no longer will ride the morning bus. Apparently the high school kids are using him as a punching bag. He said its been going on now for about 3 weeks and the kids that aren't hitting on him are standing there watching it and talking about it, basically making the situation worse by keeping it going. Now if this was happening last year my kid wouldn't hold back and would just hit back but he is trying like hell, and doing a great job of it, to be a good kid and keep his nose clean and his head to the grind stone. keeping his grades up and staying out of trouble. My son has stayed out of the principals office all year. Much different then last year when the principal and he were on a first name basis. The main kid that is using my son as a punching bag lives down the street. I would like nothing more then to go to his house and beat on him and see how he likes it. Damn its a fine line. My son has got to learn to fight his own battles, and for the most part he has no problem fighting back. but Middle school is a whole new ball game. Both kids would be suspended which I think is total bull shit, especially if you are defending yourself in a fight. The funny thing is, if they were to get in an actual fight, my son would beat the shit out of him. My son out weighs him by 25 lbs and is about 2 inches taller then him. But this kid has a mouth and is the typical bully. Thanks for letting me vent. BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #2 February 8, 2008 Tell the bully's parents you're gonna call the cops and have him charged with assault. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shermanator 4 #3 February 8, 2008 You need to tell your son to fight back. So what if the school suspends him, most likely, if a teacher or someone sees him getting beat on, he will also be suspended anyways. You need to teach him, that there are times, when it is ok to fight back. and when he is suspended, don't punish him for it, but buy him some icecream.CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08 CSA #720 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #4 February 8, 2008 I started in martial arts when I was 13. It really taught me and helped me deal with similar situations. People didn't pick on me, that was due to the self confidence (I believe), I didn't get into fights because it taught me self control. Never mind it was fun and I made some good friends at the dojo. Its important to know it is ok to fight back, it not ok to allow yourself to be a victim. Its also not ok to assault people and its many times better to simply talk the situation down or just walk away. People have made good money teaching "verbal judo" to different professions. Think of it along those lines. As for the assaults I'm concerned that the bus driver hasn't noticed anything. Furthermore, I would definitely bring it to the school administrators as well as the SROs.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #5 February 8, 2008 Actually that might not be a bad idea. But wouldn't that make things worse with my son and the rest of the neighborhood kids? BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DJL 235 #6 February 8, 2008 How does the school control what goes on after school? Edit: Regardless, he needs to deal with it. Pent up anger is bad."I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #7 February 8, 2008 Oh trust me. I called the school right away. The Assistant Principal was out (of course!) he handles these types of problems. So it will have to wait til Monday. But like I said, if my kid fights back, then he too will get suspended, which I think is total bullshit! I need to teach him to use his size as a means of defence. When I was in HS, I will never forget the first time I realized that someone would back down from when I stood up. I was taller then almost everyone in school. I am 6'1 1/2. This little shrimp of a girl, why is it always the small kids are always the loudest and seem to be the bullies? Anyway...she was starting shit with me and I didn't know her from Adam. I was sitting down and she wanted to fight. I said "lets go", I stood up and she came up to my neck. She looked me up and down and decided she didn't want to start any trouble with the amazon and walked away.My son is very tall for his age and is not small boned. The Dr told me, just last week, that she expects my son to be 6'6 when fully grown. He needs to become comfortable in his own skin. Martial arts maybe the route to take. My son has been practicing self control all school year and he is doing a very good job of it. This kid is really pushing his limit though. Bobbi A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #8 February 8, 2008 The school bus stop is considered part of the school ground. This is happening at the morning bus stop. He is dealing with it, he has told me. He is doing the right thing and not beating the shit out of the kid. If he did that he would get into a lot of trouble at school. Crazy as defending ones self might be (being sarcastic), he would get suspended for defending his self. BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #9 February 8, 2008 Take pictures of the bruising to share with the school. It's harder to ignore a photo of the problem than to ignore a description of kids "rough-housing" (and yes, I know it's a lot more than that!).TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #10 February 8, 2008 Well its happening ON the bus too. All of the buses are camera equipped, therefor there should be video tape. But I will take pics too. Thanks! BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #11 February 8, 2008 Quote Actually that might not be a bad idea. But wouldn't that make things worse with my son and the rest of the neighborhood kids? Bobbi Well...yes & no. On the positive side it shows your kid you are there to back him up whatever it takes...as well as that violence isn't a civilized answer to violence. It also shows everyone concerned, that you don't fuck around when it comes to this bullshit... when the parents get a call about legal action being contemplated they just might take a little more interest. But yes there might be some teasing from the other kids about callin' the law...but I'm willing to bet they won't get physical about it. If you son is showing marks on his body because he's going to school...something has gotta be done. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #12 February 8, 2008 Totally agree!! When we pulled the baseball coach aside last season because he didn't play our son the last game of the season because he was so into winning and basically told the coach winning isn't everything and that you didn't play these kids fairly like you said you would at the start of the season. My son saw what we did and appreciated that. Sad thing is though that the cops know this kid, they "excuse" him because of his fucked up home life. I will think about calling the cops or at least letting his parents know that this is an option we are considering. BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #13 February 8, 2008 QuoteWell its happening ON the bus too. All of the buses are camera equipped, therefor there should be video tape. But I will take pics too. Thanks! Bobbi Even if it's on tape, I'm not sure what you'd have to go through to get it. At a minimum, keep track of dates when this happened so you know specifically what tape that behavior might be on. I would start by talking both to the offending child's parents and to the Vice Principal of the school, as you have already suggested, but if you put anything in writing, I would suggest that you word it carefully and that you send a copy to the school district as well.TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #14 February 8, 2008 That's what I've done and would do again...tell both the school and the bully's parents that the assaults are being documented and that if it doesn't stop immediately you will be forced to seeks legal alternatives. Some states and/or cities do have bully laws... After a kid who was being bullied and assaulted, shot up a school in Santee, Ca. that city came down hard on the school to better protect kids from being harassed while under their control. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #15 February 8, 2008 QuoteActually that might not be a bad idea. But wouldn't that make things worse with my son and the rest of the neighborhood kids? Bobbi What. Worse than now? He's getting beaten on every day. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
monkycndo 0 #16 February 8, 2008 A runt that likes to fight is in a no lose situation. If they get beat up, what did anyone expect, they were smaller. If they win, they say, look at me, I beat up a big dude. I would call the school and tell the administrator what has been happening and if the runt doesn't stop, your son will do just enough to stop the abuse. If the school then kicks your son out for fighting, you go to the board and complain to high heaven questioning why the school is not providing a safe environment for the children under their supervision, especially after you brought it to their attention.50 donations so far. Give it a try. You know you want to spank it Jump an Infinity Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #17 February 8, 2008 If you don't already have it, you might also request that the VP provide you with a copy of the district's policy (and the school's policy, if they have one as well) about handling this kind of behavior.TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #18 February 8, 2008 QuoteA runt that likes to fight is in a no lose situation. If they get beat up, what did anyone expect, they were smaller. If they win, they say, look at me, I beat up a big dude. I would call the school and tell the administrator what has been happening and if the runt doesn't stop, your son will do just enough to stop the abuse. If the school then kicks your son out for fighting, you go to the board and complain to high heaven questioning why the school is not providing a safe environment for the children under their supervision, especially after you brought it to their attention. That's the emotional and gut response...but to get something done you need to actually take control and bring the school to task in regard to the safety of it's students. I guarantee you suggest legal avenues, they think civil lawsuit and actively take interest. Handling it in that manner teaches everyone involved that there are ways of addressing physical abuse that hurts much more than a returned punch in the nose. Think of it this way...If your kid went to school with bruises on him that he told a teacher, you the parent had given him...they would call the law. And rightfully so, it's abuse. Now if your kids goes to school and gets the bruises, shouldn't you as a parent 'at least' take the same measures to protect you child from being abused? ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TrophyHusband 0 #19 February 8, 2008 you might have to tell him to fight back. i was always taught to run away and not defend myself no matter what. even at home i would get in trouble for fighting back when my brothers beat me, and they were much bigger than me. this has not served me well in life. i've never known when to stand up for myself and when to let things slide. as a result, i usually stand up for myself at the wrong times or in the wrong ways. now i have two boys and a third on the way that i have to teach when and how to defend themselves. if he isn't interested in martial arts, maybe he can take some self defense classes. since he's going to be so big, some take-downs and holds could be very useful. that would allow him to physically control a situation without actually assaulting anyone. "Your scrotum is quite nice" - Skymama www.kjandmegan.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #20 February 9, 2008 They can pull the tapes from the bus very easily. I took pics as well. Come Monday the bruising could very easily diminish. If the tapes don't show the act, the pics should be more then enough evidence to prove that "something" went on on that bus. There is also the possibility to pull other kids that witnessed the act. We just got off the phone with the assistant principal and we will meet with him on Monday. School policy states that if a child is being bullied the school suggests that the child seek evasive action (meaning if my son punched back he too would be suspended). We told the assistant principal that if we don't like the action that the school takes against these two kids, we will call the local authorities and see what kind of action we can take. BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #21 February 9, 2008 I don't want the other kids thinking that my son can't defend himself and that mommy and daddy come running to his rescue every time he gets picked on. Kids can make other kids lives a living hell and be unmerciful and they don't forget either. Its a fine line when it comes to raising a boy. BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #22 February 9, 2008 He fights back and school policy states that he too will be suspended. I have seen a kid fight back and get 5 day out of school suspension. then my kids suffers because he has missed a weeks worth of school. Its bullshit!! You teach kids not to be a victim, raising a boy you teach them how to stick up for themselves in the real world, when it comes to school, the schools want them to find a teacher and ask for help.Back in our day, the two would fight it out and that would be the end of it. Bobbi A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #23 February 9, 2008 This has been brought up time and time again in front of the school board, to no avail. Seek out a teacher, walk away. blah blah blah.... Raising a son is tough. You want them to be tender and caring but at the same time you want them to be able to stick up for themselves and not be a pussy. Do you fight back or do you walk away? Depends on where your at I guess. BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiver88 0 #24 February 9, 2008 okay seriously tell me the kids name ill beat the hell out of him or sick my little brother after his ass hes seven and beats me up his 20 year old brother -lil fuckerbut yeah pm me yo i know i mexican with a pipe as well FYI Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #25 February 9, 2008 Thanks but seriously I can squash the kid myself.Bobbi A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
