SkydiveStMarys 0 #51 February 9, 2008 Well to bring everyone up to speed. The kid that is my sons age that beat on him yesterday is supposed to be suspended off the bus for the whole year. WTF was he doing back on the bus is anyones guess but rest assured shit will hit the fan over that one. The older kid we will be taking legal matters against him. From what I understand he is picking on my son to make him "man up". But that is no excuse. he has picked on three boys in the neighborhood and two girls. he needs to be stopped. And I am the woman for the job!! His friends have his back. Talking to all the friends at the bus stop and who ride the bus with him AND their parents we have come to the conclussion that the kids MUST band together and watch each others back. If either of these kids (the bullies) are caught alone, watch out!! One poster replied and stated that I was calm and cool and by now he would be in jail because of his conviction for the welfare of his family. Trust me when I say this, myself and my sons father would like nothing more then to go down there and beat the livin' shit out of him and his father. But we have can't deal with this half cocked. We can't afford to be hurt or thrown in jail. Our kids need us at home and to be stable. BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #52 February 9, 2008 You know there is a good simpsons episode from season 1 about something like thisDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #53 February 9, 2008 Quote His friends have his back. Talking to all the friends at the bus stop and who ride the bus with him AND their parents we have come to the conclusion that the kids MUST band together and watch each others back. If either of these kids (the bullies) are caught alone, watch out!! So you and the kids and their parents decided to form a gang?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #54 February 9, 2008 Yes. You mess with one of us and you get the package deal.We won't have an official name. But we will form an alliance. A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #55 February 9, 2008 Quote Yes. You mess with one of us and you get the package deal.We won't have an official name. But we will form an alliance. Here is some important info you might need.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #56 February 9, 2008 "why is it that kids can be so rotten to each other"? few responses gave an answer to your actual question... many good ideas on how to handle the situation, now that someone ELSE's child has unfairly provoked your son and each of you, his family...Why are kids rotten??? because some children have lost the basic sense of manners, which is always helpful, as we carry on our lives... basic courtesy and common friendliness, seem to be less important today, than in the past...in fact sometimes frowned upon... Sadly many kids get distracted by all the signals they receive, from movies, music, peers especially when "contradicted" in some cases, by what the parents are saying... Parents ARE trying to teach them important things, right from wrong, self respect and respect for others,,, or at least i would think that's part of a parents' job... But some kids get carried away with the self esteem/ self respect part, and deem themselves better, or more important, than those around them... Some kids make bad choices,,, like becoming a bully...and if it is at all supported by a cluster of "toadies" egging on the brute... then it can be real unfair to all the decent kids in the vicinity... I'm not qualified to get into all "the details" which brings this about..but a few certain children can cause chaos, in an entire school system... I suppose it may get down to socio-economic situations... Sadly many adults are sometimes struggling, in all sorts of ways... and when these adults are also parents,,, my guess would be some degree of distress filters down to the children...and the kid acts out... I'm behind the curve on Video games, but it's my feeling that they encourage over agressiveness,,, and tend to wind a kid UP ... i don't know of too many that would be considered calming.... Lack of plain old Physical Fitness might also play in... Kids don't seem to run around and Play outside, at alll like they did decades ago...a great stress reliever and cardio workout So maybe some kids have the day to day stresses build up in their lives...and make BAD choices in their behaviors... It's a complicated thing... and can even be viewed from a few economic points of view... 1 Parents with children, one or both parents working... trying to DO for their children, just making it. 2 Parents with children Not working, trying to do the best for their children, not making it. 3. Parents with children, Working, and making LOTS of money, trying to do the BEST for their children... Interestingly, each of these situations could produce Wonderful children or Problematic children... They key is in how the parents assume the "Mantle of Parenthood", as reflected in the way the children turn out... A Cohesive home with Mom and Dad, or a Single person household with a hard working and Loving parent..... and laughter and love, and a decent dose of mutual respect and adherance to manners, between all family members should result over time in the creation of a responsible person... When done under tough money situations the success is all the more important...Yet in cases where money was never an issue and the true character of a person sometimes shows through...If that person happens to be well full of himself or herself because of financial well being,,, and that "attitude" filters down to the children the result could be a self centered, 'what's in it for me', 'who cares about the other guy"..." I get what i want" sort of a pre-teen or teen ager and by then it may have gotten out of control.....Self confidence is one thing narcissism is another. Misbehavior has always been around , it helps to acknowledge that , going in, as we raise children.. Helps keep us on our toes to recognize it and distance ourselves from it. or do what's needed to have the problem,,,,, addressed once and for all... any other ideas why kids are the way they are....??? here in the 'new century'... jmy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RALFFERS 0 #57 February 9, 2008 QuoteOne poster replied and stated that I was calm and cool and by now he would be in jail because of his conviction for the welfare of his family. Trust me when I say this, myself and my sons father would like nothing more then to go down there and beat the livin' shit out of him and his father. But we have can't deal with this half cocked. We can't afford to be hurt or thrown in jail. Our kids need us at home and to be stable. I agree with you 100%, and in retrospect, I was just saying what I would like to do, because in the end (when I have a family of my own) I have the same obligations that you do.Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself - "from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #58 February 9, 2008 Now how about the parents who don't give a shit about their kids?Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #59 February 9, 2008 QuoteNow how about the parents who don't give a shit about their kids? Are you talking Rodriguez parents or - like real parents -I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #60 February 9, 2008 I'd have to agree with everything you're saying Jimmy.. What it comes down to IMHO, is that kids, because of the drastically changed values of our society...don't have any heroes anymore. Their role models are media hyped bad boys (and girls)...and that constant bombardment is often too much for any parent to effectively deal with. You're not up on video games? At a sleepover birthday party a few years back, one of my son's guests brought a video game for the late night entertainment...the one where you gain points by stealing cars and beating up hookers etc. The kids were 12. THAT'S the kind of stuff we're up against. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #61 February 9, 2008 QuoteQuoteNow how about the parents who don't give a shit about their kids? Well they should be ashamed of themselves !!! that's what...No body is perfect but a highlight in the life of many a person has been the birth of a child,,,, and if THAT can't spur one on to be at least semi- responsible,, then that is a sad commentary... ..... A parent who cares NOT for his/ her kids,,,is a certain issue, as well in terms of a kids' development..... Still it is in How the OTHER parent and the kid or kids respond to the Rotten parents' abhorant behavior , and how they bounce back from it, if they can.........that makes or breaks it...for the kids... Many a fine fine person grew to adulthood despite some ' ne'er do well ' parentage...and due to the love and support of the OTHER parent and of siblings... ------------------------------------------------------------ Are you talking Rodriguez parents or - like real parents - Real Parents...care for their children.... turtlespeed asks about what i hope is a very very small % of parents, out there... Not sure about the R Bros... jmy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #62 February 9, 2008 QuoteQuoteQuoteNow how about the parents who don't give a shit about their kids? Well they should be ashamed of themselves !!! that's what...No body is perfect but a highlight in the life of many a person has been the birth of a child,,,, and if THAT can't spur one on to be at least semi- responsible,, then that is a sad commentary... ..... A parent who cares NOT for his/ her kids,,,is a certain issue, as well in terms of a kids' development..... Still it is in How the OTHER parent and the kid or kids respond to the Rotten parents' abhorant behavior , and how they bounce back from it, if they can.........that makes or breaks it...for the kids... Many a fine fine person grew to adulthood despite some ' ne'er do well ' parentage...and due to the love and support of the OTHER parent and of siblings... ------------------------------------------------------------ Are you talking Rodriguez parents or - like real parents - Real Parents...care for their children.... turtlespeed asks about what i hope is a very very small % of parents, out there... Not sure about the R Bros... jmy You don't have to give a shit to be a parent . . . I believe that some people are getting so busy that they are depending on the television and the video games to babysit their kids for them. The fact that we have to have guards at the entrance of our schools with metal detectors and weapons checks is a tell tale sign of how lazy parents, the media, and aloofness have damaged our society. There - is that better? I still don't believe that gang mentality will work. It has the possibility of causing more damage than it dioes good.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #63 February 9, 2008 You don't have to give a shit to be a parent . . . I believe that some people are getting so busy that they are depending on the television and the video games to babysit their kids for them. ******** i agree 100% with you... hell ,,,technically any body whose ever engaged in unprotected intercourse could be a parent...*** But BEING BUSY is no excuse for causing someone to "not a give a shit about their kid" anyway... I was talking about REAL Parents... how about you speed??? do you have any children??? those who comment about lazy parents etc... may or may not have ever "walked in their shoes".... As for baby sitting , it's true that Tv and video games have been used that way... Television had the potential to be SO educational, so valuable , so entertaining, so able to start to create a safe and cohesive society .. and early on I think it DID... BUT In the past few decades, many many questionable programs and video footage, live, real, fiction, and non fiction have bombarded all of us with all sorts of varients that we've reached the point where we might be starting to really suffer from it... Violence, aggressiveness towards others, gun play, misbehavior,, often under the guise of humor.... all sorts of Freedom of Speech protected, drivel... it's gotten bad,, and i fear the internet will make things even worse than they already are.. It's a tough time to be raising kids,,,Thank God Mine are 22 and 24.... and doing well... ********* The fact that we have to have guards at the entrance of our schools with metal detectors and weapons checks is a tell tale sign of how lazy parents, the media, and aloofness have damaged our society. ************** yes you are right again!!!... we're on the same team here.... It's a damn shame that our schools have come to this... .. as in my first post here, manners matter... There - is that better??? ******** NO.. to me, better would be a harsher reality, at the HAND of a school appointed dean of discipline . No kidding, a properly trained teacher. who is able to administer pre determined' sentences for certain infractions... During My 'formative' years. you're damn right we would have a paddle, or yardstcik taken across our butts, or legs... and At Home it could be my dad's leather belt... Trust me that gets your attention....( of course this was during the 60's...) (Our children never experienced That. ) Sadly some kids, sometimes NEED a decent paddling.... But even non contact things can be used to deter a students misbehavior. hell Get a dozen, pushbrooms, and shovels and a few trash cans, and a create an 'after school chain gang'...to clean up the school property... create a socially embarassing sentence, the dunce cap comes to mind... anything... to elicit change...********** I still don't believe that gang mentality will work. It has the possibility of causing more damage than it dioes good. *********** basically, isn't the bully and his cohorts a gang???.. How's that working for Him..??? NOT too good I'd say...seeing as how he got tossed off the bus... so chances are a Retaliation gang, is gonna stir up more trouble than it solves... and simply drag you all down to a lower level... Stand above all this...*** Oh twardo... naw,, i never was into video games much, and have not kept up on them.. only know what i read, which isn't good... hell don't some of them trigger epileptic fits??? yikes!!!!! also not very keen on vince mcmahons concept of entertainment.. and many many youngsters are overly influenced by some of the professional wrestling dynamics..... i'm the first to recognize the athleticism needed to play out the 'script' of the match, and wow and wonder at the strength and agility of some of these huge men, but i can't get with the 'lack of mercy'. the slamming of one another, the maniacal performances, and certainly can't get with the portrayal of women and of the sexually charged atmosphere they create... but that's a 'whole 'nother thread'...j t a3914 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #64 February 9, 2008 The older kid comes from a single parent household. he is being raised by his father and three older brothers. He is the youngest. BUT get this, the second kid that beat on my son IS suspended from riding the bus he rode (he sneaked on, he's black and on crutches so its not like he blends in) the bus wendesday AND friday!! Is the bus driver not aware of his suspension?? Does she not give a shit?? Oh this just keeps getting better and better . I can't believe I am going to say this, but I can't WAIT til Monday comes!!! BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billeisele 130 #65 February 10, 2008 when the school system creates a rule that prevents a student from defending themself from bodily harm, the school and all employees accept the responsibility for protecting the student the fact that the bus driver has not done the job is grounds for - an interesting discussion - that if you so choose could involve the legal systemGive one city to the thugs so they can all live together. I vote for Chicago where they have strict gun laws. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #66 February 10, 2008 I was in high school in the 70s. (I know, just after the Earth cooled and the dinosaurs came.) Grades 7 through 12 went to Phys Ed together. Consequently, the 100 lb 7th graders got beat up by 180 lb 12th graders on a daily basis. Add to that, the school was integrated that year. The Mexican kids worked at the grocery store after school and carried razor box-cutters to school. The white kids had bats and bicycle chains in their cars. The black kids had screwdrivers. Retribution against 12th graders was done by dogpiling them with 6 7th graders and some elbow placement. Group stuff was done with folding chairs on the patio during lunch. Individually, a kid coming off a bus would "trip" down the stairs and land on a bully's hip. Nothing like a good limp to calm you down. Things haven't changed that much. Kids are vicious to the outsider or those who don't fight back. Find a group interest for your kid. The kids on the baseball team or track team would always stand together. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #67 February 10, 2008 He starts weight training on the 19th and will do that two days a week after school. He goes back for his second year of baseball late March. BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #68 February 10, 2008 Very interesting discussion indeed. Maybe I can get the bitch fired. If she is not part of the solution, which she isn't, she is indeed part of the problem. We need caring individuals working and teaching our kids, warm bodies need not apply. I don't care if your "just a bus driver." BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #69 February 10, 2008 QuoteHe starts weight training on the 19th and will do that two days a week after school. He goes back for his second year of baseball late March. Bobbi I hope those activities help. It can create a good social support network. I support the idea of the martial arts training for two reasons. One, it is the rare person who will pick a fight if they think they will get beaten. So, you can avoid trouble by merely not being an appealing victim. Second, most people are afraid to fight because they believe that they will be hurt far worse than generally happens. During the course of training, you get hit a few times and you become less fearful. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #70 February 10, 2008 You know, its not merely being afraid to fight. The school policy states that the person defending himself will too get suspended AND when you are suspended you can't make up the work that you miss. We are all for my son defending himself but he can't on school property. So he took it because, 1 he didn't want to get suspended and two he didn't want to come across as a snitch or a pussy by telling an adult. Bobbi A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenister 0 #71 February 10, 2008 Quotemost people are afraid to fight because they believe that they will be hurt far worse than generally happens. During the course of training, you get hit a few times and you become less fearful. yes and no... while training illustrates that most fights are not 'serious' it (training, if done properly) will also show the student that real combat isnt a game (as portrayed by Wrestling, UFC, and cartoons) and that people can and are permanently maimed or killed in a serious fight. This is part of training the students to understand that violence should be a last resort, never the first. the modern martial 'sport' does a great disservice in this regard.____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #72 February 10, 2008 This is part of training the students to understand that violence should be a last resort, never the first. the modern martial 'sport' does a great disservice in this regard. Quote Important enough to repeat! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SkydiveStMarys 0 #73 February 10, 2008 BUT when a child defends himself he is not being a victim. My whole thing with the school policy of not defending ones self and taking evasive action, makes these kids feel somewhat like a victim and thus pushed to the point of bringing a gun to school because they have been bullied months upon months or years upon years. I would suspect there wouldn't so many bullies out there if kids were able to "take it outside" and be done with it once and for all. BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites airtwardo 7 #74 February 10, 2008 QuoteBUT when a child defends himself he is not being a victim. My whole thing with the school policy of not defending ones self and taking evasive action, makes these kids feel somewhat like a victim and thus pushed to the point of bringing a gun to school because they have been bullied months upon months or years upon years. I would suspect there wouldn't so many bullies out there if kids were able to "take it outside" and be done with it once and for all. Bobbi But think of it from the school's legal standpoint... Yeah kids, go ahead an duke it out, we got a lotta band-aids in the nurses office....probably wouldn't look to good if someone got really dinged up. On the other hand, if they don't do what they're supposed to and safeguard the kids that 'don't' fight, then you go after them for not enforcing the policy. Hang in kiddo...you guys are doing the right thing, the right way. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Zenister 0 #75 February 10, 2008 QuoteBUT when a child defends himself he is not being a victim. oh I agree completely, the school's policy is assine.. "turn the other cheek" is a nice ideal, but in the real world usually means being struck on the otherside as well.... my point was more that my own lack of control was/is what resulted in the injuries to those who attacked me and the punishment I received because of it (was once suspended for 2 weeks for knocking another high school student out while defending my friend..) proper technique, discipline and restraint stops the violence at a level that does not cause serious injury to the opponent. I've yet to reach that level of control or compassion.____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Next Page 3 of 8 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
SkydiveStMarys 0 #73 February 10, 2008 BUT when a child defends himself he is not being a victim. My whole thing with the school policy of not defending ones self and taking evasive action, makes these kids feel somewhat like a victim and thus pushed to the point of bringing a gun to school because they have been bullied months upon months or years upon years. I would suspect there wouldn't so many bullies out there if kids were able to "take it outside" and be done with it once and for all. BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #74 February 10, 2008 QuoteBUT when a child defends himself he is not being a victim. My whole thing with the school policy of not defending ones self and taking evasive action, makes these kids feel somewhat like a victim and thus pushed to the point of bringing a gun to school because they have been bullied months upon months or years upon years. I would suspect there wouldn't so many bullies out there if kids were able to "take it outside" and be done with it once and for all. Bobbi But think of it from the school's legal standpoint... Yeah kids, go ahead an duke it out, we got a lotta band-aids in the nurses office....probably wouldn't look to good if someone got really dinged up. On the other hand, if they don't do what they're supposed to and safeguard the kids that 'don't' fight, then you go after them for not enforcing the policy. Hang in kiddo...you guys are doing the right thing, the right way. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenister 0 #75 February 10, 2008 QuoteBUT when a child defends himself he is not being a victim. oh I agree completely, the school's policy is assine.. "turn the other cheek" is a nice ideal, but in the real world usually means being struck on the otherside as well.... my point was more that my own lack of control was/is what resulted in the injuries to those who attacked me and the punishment I received because of it (was once suspended for 2 weeks for knocking another high school student out while defending my friend..) proper technique, discipline and restraint stops the violence at a level that does not cause serious injury to the opponent. I've yet to reach that level of control or compassion.____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
