Gonejumpingl 0 #1 March 4, 2008 Hey guys... just had to vent!!! Going thru it for the first time. Somebody should have told me before i got married I feel worst for my son, 4 years old, we're like inseperable since the day he was born... Trying to figure out what kind of emotions to expect... So far, just numbness and a little angst.Today is a better day!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #2 March 5, 2008 Why are you getting divorced? How long were you together before getting married? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gonejumpingl 0 #3 March 5, 2008 Married 8 years... reasons are basically lack of love andtwo hectic work schedule... plus oh yes i forgot... i'm an ass Today is a better day!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #4 March 5, 2008 QuoteTrying to figure out what kind of emotions to expect All of them. You'll run the gamut. However: Your son is four years old. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE HOW PERCEPTIVE HE IS. HE is the one for whom everything should be made easier. Right now, everyone is at a different stage of coping. Like it or not, everybody better work towards being on the same level. Once that happens, you, your spouse and your child can move forward with amicable solutions. You and your spouse should be keeping your focus on your son. Never say anythign bad about each other in front of him and be warm and nurturing to him together. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gonejumpingl 0 #5 March 5, 2008 pretty much figured out that one as far as being in unison with my son... Just wish i was happy about this... ( like i thought i would be!) anyway enough bummingI live for him... Guess i'll have to learn to live for myself a little also. Thanks for the advice, from what i've read about your past posts, you're always pretty sound... Today is a better day!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NewGuy2005 53 #6 March 5, 2008 Quote Married 8 years... reasons are basically lack of love andtwo hectic work schedule... plus oh yes i forgot... i'm an ass Please consider staying together for the sake of your kid. The reasons you listed above don't sound pleasant, but is it worth what you will put the kid through? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gonejumpingl 0 #7 March 5, 2008 trust me!! Way pass that, we've tried, being trying that for 3 years... We are both pretty aware of the consequences toward our son and our family... Just never want to look like a failure in his eyes...Today is a better day!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gonejumpingl 0 #8 March 5, 2008 I'm a newb!! But right now, the only thing that concrete for me is skydiving and it's sense of friendship... I just figured somebody else had been through this before... Just scrounging every bit of info in order to better understand what the f*ck just happened Today is a better day!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lilDevil 2 #9 March 5, 2008 I was married for 13 years, even though we both made the decision to seperate it still took me 2 years to file for devorce. It wasnt as complicated as your situation as we didnt have kids but still its a hard thing to go through. Your son will be ok as long as your both happy and dont start name calling each other, never use him a s a pawn , not saying you would but it happens and thats when problems start. Ive got friends who have gone through this and the only person it hurts is the child. Youll be ok just try to think of the good times and look forward. LilD``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SansSuit 1 #10 March 5, 2008 Why are divorces so expensive?? . . . . . . . Because they are worth it !!!!! Peace, -Jeff.Peace, -Dawson. http://www.SansSuit.com The Society for the Advancement of Naked Skydiving Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HUSHPUPPY 0 #11 March 5, 2008 Hang in there! There will be light at the end of this. I was married for 12 yrs and have been divorced for 8. My now 13 yearold had no problem figuring out what was going on, just needed help dealing with it. That is where you and your soon to be ex need to focus! Hope this helps! "You made my panties wet!" Skymama (Fitz 09) "Never argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #12 March 5, 2008 Quote Why are divorces so expensive?? . . . . . . . Because they are worth it !!!!! Peace, -Jeff. Looks like your wife got the shirt off your back, and then some..."There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #13 March 5, 2008 Quotetrust me!! Way pass that, we've tried, being trying that for 3 years... We are both pretty aware of the consequences toward our son and our family... Just never want to look like a failure in his eyes... So did your marriage turn to shit before or after you had the kid? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gonejumpingl 0 #14 March 5, 2008 Nothing too rough before the kid, but after it's like we gradually went apart... I know, they tell me it happens to everybody... but counseling (twice) and complete awarness of our problems didn't solve anything... except that we came at peace with the fact that it was over... A relationship as to mean a little bit more than just a paycheck? Our interest are now different; i'm not specifically talking about me starting to jump, she understood this sport and what it means to me! I have to admit in being a semi workaholic... 80 to 90 hours is regular hours for me!! But my nights and only day off are spent with him ( she works on that day)... I'm ranting on... Today is a better day!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gonejumpingl 0 #15 March 5, 2008 Quote Quote Why are divorces so expensive?? . . . . . . . Because they are worth it !!!!! Peace, -Jeff. Looks like your wife got the shirt off your back, and then some... Classic!! Thanks guys!!!Today is a better day!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #16 March 5, 2008 Care to explain your sig line? Did you piss your wife off today? Divorce sucks. 8 years of marriage huh? Some people go through what's called the 7 year itch... Maybe that's when things get into a rut and they need to revive the love or try something different... Marriage is hard work. You're always working to keep it going. You can't ever sit back and think you got it made. I'm not saying that's the case with you and the wife. Sometimes people do grow apart. Sometimes the guy does something stupid and turns into an asshole. Same goes for the woman, who can turn into a bitch. Such is life... Just wishing you the best in whatever happens in the future, just make sure the kid knows he/she's not the problem there. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gonejumpingl 0 #17 March 5, 2008 Quote Care to explain your sig line? Did you piss your wife off today? Should have heard my cellphone blow up when the papers were served Quote Just wishing you the best in whatever happens in the future, just make sure the kid knows he/she's not the problem there. Thank you!! Always will remain priority #1 for me and for her... Do appreciate the advice though...Today is a better day!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #18 March 5, 2008 Quote but after it's like we gradually went apart... I know, they tell me it happens to everybody Uh... what? "They" are idiots. Anyway, I feel sorry for your kid. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #19 March 5, 2008 Everybody better have a lawyer. "Fair" is a place that you go to sell pigs in the summer. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jasonRose 0 #20 March 5, 2008 You are right divorce does suck!!! My best advice is to work it out if you can. If you can't or she won’t then here is my next advice. This is assuming your marriage is done and over with and you made the decision to make it through this shit. Again my first advise is the best but 50% + of US population can’t work it out so the numbers don’t look good 1) Find God if you haven't already. In my opinion this is where you can find peace and a rock to lean against. 2) Get a mean, unethical, hot shot, cock sucker lawyer NOW and let him figure out the shit for you because if you were like me you are in the wrong state of mind to deal with this rationally 2) Protect yourself emotionally, good friends that support you not mutual friends, psychologist can help if you believe in them, church groups can help a lot. 3) Keep busy!! Get your ass out of bed every morning and go to work, don't fuck your life up anymore than it already is. If you can sign up for more work to keep yourself busy 4) Stay out of trouble, resist the temptation of fucking with your soon to be ex-wife, your cock sucker lawyer will take care of this for you. Be smart don’t drink and drive and stay off of drugs. A DUI or a criminal charge will end up screwing you over during the divorce proceedings. 5) Try and be strong, women will try their emotional head games to meet their needs, especially scorned women. If your wife gets pissed I guarantee you will see a side of her that you have never seen before. I guarantee your wife has some Nazi cunt friend that is telling her how to cut your balls off in court. With a kid if all goes well you are looking at about of year of bullshit and a year or two to stop feeling the pain. Last, I am praying for you bro divorce is a hell that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Be true to yourself and open your eyes to the world that God created for you.. Rosie Some day I will have the best staff in the world!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kschilk 0 #21 March 5, 2008 Quote Why are divorces so expensive?? . . . . . . . Because they are worth it !!!!! Peace, -Jeff. Hmmm.....for some reason, after reading that, I got a mental picture of an ejection seat."T'was ever thus." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sartre 0 #22 March 5, 2008 So did God help you find the mean cocksucker lawyer to fuck with your ex wife? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jasonRose 0 #23 March 5, 2008 Agreed not a christian attitude but not the point I was trying to make And to answer your question directly, no. My dumb fucking ex wife helped me figure that one out.. Some day I will have the best staff in the world!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bodypilot1 0 #24 March 5, 2008 Something a wise man once told me..... "You'll never know how good your wife can fuck until she gets you in court".www.WestCoastWingsuits.com www.PrecisionSkydiving.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sartre 0 #25 March 5, 2008 Quote Agreed not a christian attitude but not the point I was trying to make And to answer your question directly, no. My dumb fucking ex wife helped me figure that one out.. Well, it's good to see that you're not bitter or anything...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites