Conundrum 1 #26 March 5, 2008 Do you know what happened between him and his ex-wife? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #27 March 5, 2008 Quote5) Try and be strong, women will try their emotional head games to meet their needs, especially scorned women. The best one is the "well... you want to be a good father and support your child". This goes back to the lawyer advice. Let the lawyer handle all the negotiations. Mr. Nice Guy will eventually figure out that he is paying for a weekend at the beach with some jobless swine, not child support. My attorney's best advice: Do not allow her in a house/apt/room with you. Stay outside. There is an outstanding tactic where she leaves the house and claims abuse. Then, even before your case goes to court, her attorney will ask you in a deposition, "Have you ever been arrested for abuse or domestic violence?" Not convicted, just arrested. That little answer shows up during the custody hearing. If she slaps you during an argument, then she states that she was injured as a result of a domestic dispute. I totally agree that everyone needs to stay away from alcohol, etc. Not just for legal battle reasons, for the good of the child. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airdvr 210 #28 March 5, 2008 Best thing my lawyer ever told me... Him "Do you want to split your assets between 2 people or 4?" Me "Huh?" Him "2 or 4" Me " I don't get what youre'saying" Him "We can do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is for both of you to agree to a settlement quickly. That way you split your assets. The hard way will mean splitting your assets 4 ways...you..her...her lawyer...and me" It was great advice.Please don't dent the planet. Destinations by Roxanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PoppyFunk 0 #29 March 5, 2008 Quote Hey guys... just had to vent!!! Going thru it for the first time. Somebody should have told me before i got marriedI feel worst for my son, 4 years old, we're like inseperable since the day he was born... Trying to figure out what kind of emotions to expect... So far, just numbness and a little angst. Emotions to be expected...pretty much everything from one end of the gamut to the other. I hit all of 'em, exhilarating elation all the way to a blinding rage. Take it for what it is, experience them and let them go. Yeah, I make it sound a lot easier than it is, but I'm over six years out from mine. That whole "staying together for the kids" thing never works. The kids know and the kids are better off with two happy separate parents than with two miserable parents. Throw guilt right out the window. Kids survive divorce just fine if they are made a priority in the process. They're a lot smarter than people give them credit for being. Don't lie to him. Make damn sure that he understands he had nothing to do with the decision *and* that there is nothing he could do to change it. Don't *ever* talk bad about the other parent in front of your son. Don't allow anyone else to do so. Kids, especially at your son's age, view themself as an extension of their parents. Insult mom and you've insulted him. He needs to see mom as still a hero in his eyes. Like someone else said, get a lawyer and let them handle the details. Don't be *nice* just to keep peace. Chances are, you *will* get dragged through the mud as a result of being nice. Go for fair, but don't back down from what you deserve in the settlement. I wish someone had told me this. I played *nice* right into the ground trying to keep peace. Ah, so many more things I could say here.... Good luck. ~Grace"Analyze this!" http://www.myspace.com/poppyfunk Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gonejumpingl 0 #30 March 5, 2008 Thanks!! That's where i'm pretty much at right now... lawyered up to my neck so my balls are protected she already as f*cked with my brain for so long...You guys are right, almost started playing nice when we were writing the sep agreement but it's a lot easier to let the shark handle it... But poppyfunk you are right on... ride out the phases of emotions and tomorrow is a better day!! ( plus it might be a jumping day!! the best kind of day Today is a better day!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DangerRoo 0 #31 March 5, 2008 its a long road but you'll get past it for you (I.C.D#2 VP) ""I'm good with my purple penis straw" ~sky mama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gonejumpingl 0 #32 March 5, 2008 Quote its a long road but you'll get past it for you Sh*t i forgot how much beer i would owe at the dz being that this is a first for meToday is a better day!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DangerRoo 0 #33 March 5, 2008 I think this one should work in reverse!! so this one is for you and one in person if I meet ya (I.C.D#2 VP) ""I'm good with my purple penis straw" ~sky mama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
denete 3 #34 March 6, 2008 See if you and your wife can agree to do one thing together: promise that you will not "bad mouth" each other to your child. If you can both see how it can hurt the child and agree that it is an out-of-bounds thing, you will help to put the focus where it needs to be.SCR #14809 "our attitude is the thing most capable of keeping us safe" (look, grab, look, grab, peel, punch, punch, arch) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moodyskydiver 0 #35 March 6, 2008 I'm going though the same thing, man and it sucks.Especially when you're getting mixed signals from your other half. "...just an earthbound misfit, I." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #36 March 6, 2008 QuoteSee if you and your wife can agree to do one thing together: promise that you will not "bad mouth" each other to your child. I made a list of the positive things and the negative things. I would mention that "Your mother was incredibly smart" and not the part about "and she used that intelligence to harm and manipulate anyone she knew for her amusement". "She is very capable" is a positive representation of "She could have done anything, but chose not to." Eventually, children do figure it out. It is not what you say, it is what you do. (People should remember that before swearing at other drivers or exhibit other poor behavioral examples.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gonejumpingl 0 #37 March 6, 2008 Quote Eventually, children do figure it out. It is not what you say, it is what you do. (People should remember that before swearing at other drivers or exhibit other poor behavioral examples.) He's already smart as a whip (i gloat! it's ok i'm a proud parent what can i say) Won't take him that long to figure out, we at least agreed to educate ourself on how to approach it...Today is a better day!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ianmdrennan 2 #38 March 7, 2008 Quote Quote Agreed not a christian attitude but not the point I was trying to make And to answer your question directly, no. My dumb fucking ex wife helped me figure that one out.. Well, it's good to see that you're not bitter or anything...... Actually I agree with him. After going through a bitter divorce myself last year, the biggest mistake I made was assuming I was still dealing with a rational individual. If I had to do it all over again I'd get a kick ass lawyer and let them handle everything. Don't be too judgemental here - it's amazing how your SO can, and most times WILL in a divorce, turn on you. IanPerformance Designs Factory Team Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gonejumpingl 0 #39 March 7, 2008 Quote Actually I agree with him. After going through a bitter divorce myself last year, the biggest mistake I made was assuming I was still dealing with a rational individual. If I had to do it all over again I'd get a kick ass lawyer and let them handle everything. Don't be too judgemental here - it's amazing how your SO can, and most times WILL in a divorce, turn on you. Ian I agree!! Scorn could carry on for a long time...Today is a better day!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gofastrlbrown 0 #40 March 7, 2008 Marriage can be a heck of a lot worse than a divorce!!! GOFASTIt is strange, the more I practice, the better I get! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #41 March 8, 2008 At least you don't have to work with her. clicky Quote YOU have to trust someone firing a crossbow at an apple perched on your head - especially if the woman wielding the weapon is divorcing you. Anton Popazov is the man under the apple while wife Natasha fires the arrows in the Moscow State Circus show at the Cambridge Corn Exchange. Quote After 20 years performing together in the business they are in the process of getting divorced - but because of contractual reasons they have to continue performing the act together. Anton said: "It's not every man's cup of tea to have his partner firing arrows at him every day, but the show must go on." Paul Archer, the circus manager, said: "The act has not been seen in Cambridge before. It involves up to seven crossbows being targeted left to right across the stage and the final one pierces an apple on his head. "The couple involved are going through a divorce, she is the one who triggers the arrow and her husband is the one under the apple. "They are contracted to us until the end of 2008 and at the end of the day they are a professional couple. They have been performing together for 20 years all over the world." "Oops... sorry about tagging you in the coin purse, dear." Definitely hit-able pic, but... into the "no" pile. No point in offending a women who shoots a crossbow professionally. That would be poor judgment. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
