Never question a drunk

[Darktreader 0]

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. Can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. Package of bacon.

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You MUST be single."
I was a bit startled by th is proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

"Before we waste time talking and getting to know each other, let's just have sex once and see if we're compatible"

[gonzalesna 0]

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[RALFFERS 0]

LMAO...that's pretty damn funny



Edited to add: Well, not that you're ugly, but...

Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself -

"from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

LOL



Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[CSpenceFLY 1]

Repost police. Where the hell have you people been?

[DougH 270]

Maybe, but it made me laugh. I need that after coming back to lousy CT from long trip at Eloy.

"The restraining order says you're only allowed to touch me in freefall"
=P

[Darktreader 0]

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

"Before we waste time talking and getting to know each other, let's just have sex once and see if we're compatible"