Which is the proper way to wipe one's anus??

[stitch 0]

I need to make a decision.

"No cookies for you"- GFD
"I don't think I like the sound of that" ~ MB65
Don't be a "Racer Hater"

[mnealtx 0]

Stitch....you just ain't right, son!!

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

[waltappel 1]

Quote

I need to make a decision.

Being a turd expert and all, I think the best technique is none of the above. Wiping spreads the shit around and just makes a dirty job even dirtier. The thing to do is to use kind of a pinching motion. Any spreading goes from the outer boundary of the turdage toward the inside.

That may be a bit too advanced for some people but it's the way turd afficiandos do it.

edited to add:
Ever since I heard a comedian ask this question, I've wondered:

Quote

How does a blind guy know when he's done wiping his ass?

Walt

[kschilk 0]

Use the "Captain Kirk Method".....you don't really wipe, you just orbit around it and snag any cling-ons.

"T'was ever thus."

[happythoughts 0]

Sequentially.

Using the pages of the IRS Fed Tax Code, starting at page 1.

In this way, you can highlight any paragraphs that you may have questions about.

[shermanator 4]

where is the option for three seashells?

CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08
CSA #720

[GQ_jumper 4]

OK you need to accept multiple answers, u see I start with front to back, than once that goes awry I make two moves which include an insertion and swirl followed by a front to back where I carefully examine the TP looking for signs of streaking before I run to the shower to make the final cleansing!!

it's a technical way of doing things, but sometimes technical is the way to go.



!!warning!! do not attempt unless under proper supervision


sorry I had to throw a warning in your post but it is now required after the loss of a legal battle last year

History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid.
--Dwight D. Eisenhower

[JackC 0]

"Afterwards I wiped my tail with a hen, with a cock, with a pullet, with a calf's skin, with a hare, with a pigeon, with a cormorant, with an attorney's bag, with a montero, with a coif, with a falconer's lure. But, to conclude, I say and maintain, that of all torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains."
(from Gargantua, 1534)

[Jumpfunder 0]

Females should wipe front to back. Keeps the dookie from infecting the hole, or so I've been told.

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[iluvtofly 0]

How old are you? And you're just now thinking about this problem? What have you been doing up till now?

[stitch 0]

Perhaps you should read the title again?

"No cookies for you"- GFD
"I don't think I like the sound of that" ~ MB65
Don't be a "Racer Hater"