How the FAA REALLY works!

[HUSHPUPPY 0]

This is a bit long, but worth the read!

How the FAA REALLY works!

A Government Union (NATCA) and a Government Agency (FAA) decided to have a
canoe race on the Potomac River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach
their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, NATCA won by a mile.

The FAA, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason
for the crushing defeat. The DOT Inspector General and the GAO investigated
and recommended appropriate action. The conclusion was
simple:

NATCA won the race because NATCA had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering,
while the FAA team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.

Feeling a deeper study was in order, FAA management hired a COO who
immediately contracted with a premier consulting company, Booze Allen
Hamilton. The FAA paid the COO and the consultants a boatload of money for
their expertise. They advised, of course, that too many people were steering
the boat, while not enough people were rowing. The COO then left to take a
cushy private sector job, and the consultants all formed new companies to
bid on the rowing contracts.

Not sure of how to utilize that information but wanting to prevent another
loss to NATCA, the FAA rowing team's management structure was totally
re-organized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and
1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also re-baselined their
projected boat speed, and implemented a new performance system that would
give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was
called 'The Rowing Team Performance Management System,' with meetings,
dinners and free plastic "Boat Captain Stripes" for the rower. There was
discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment along with
providing extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.

The next year NATCA won by two miles.

Humiliated, FAA management disciplined the rower with 30 days on the beach
for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles,
and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was
distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing
team was contracted out to Lockheed Martin.


--
Jerry Nash
South Florida & Caribbean Legislative Rep.
National Air Traffic Controllers Association

"You made my panties wet!" Skymama (Fitz 09)
"Never argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience."

[JohnMitchell 16]

Right on, brother!

The FAA just needs another layer of management or two to watch their dwindling controller staff work more and more traffic for less and less pay. That will fix all their problems.

[HUSHPUPPY 0]

I have over 20 yrs in the FAA and my dad is retired FAA. The FAA has been doing business this way as long as my dad and I have been with them.......you think they would have learned something by now!

"You made my panties wet!" Skymama (Fitz 09)
"Never argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience."

[Broke 0]

The goverment takes a long time to learn. Ever notice how not many people get fired from goverment jobs?

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[Unstable 9]

Methinks it's true, but perhaps you could include the airlines who are sitting on the banks yelling directions to everyone in the canoes, and them obeying to a T!

=========Shaun ==========

[lauraliscious 0]

ROTFLMAO HP!!!!!!!!!!

That *exactly* describes what the current re-org feels like. Thanks for sharing.

Enemiga Rodriguez, PMS #369, OrFun #25, Team Dirty Sanchez #116, Pelt Head #29, Muff #4091

[2fat2fly 0]

That is the only way that you'll ever see "work" and "FAA" in the same subject line

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[turtlespeed 220]

Luv ya brutha!

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[JohnMitchell 16]

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That is the only way that you'll ever see "work" and "FAA" in the same subject line

Oh, some of us in the FAA really work.

Really.

[masterrig 1]

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The goverment takes a long time to learn. Ever notice how not many people get fired from goverment jobs?

...and the mor one screws-up, the higher up the ladder they go!


Chuck

[JohnMitchell 16]

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...and the more one screws-up, the higher up the ladder they go!

It's amazing how literally true that is.

[masterrig 1]

Quote

Quote

...and the more one screws-up, the higher up the ladder they go!

It's amazing how literally true that is.

All one has to do is look closely at our various government agencies...


Chuck

[htrammel 0]

Quote

Quote

That is the only way that you'll ever see "work" and "FAA" in the same subject line

Oh, some of us in the FAA really work.

Really.

Yes we do. As a matter of fact. I'm working right now...uh...I mean I just...um...I gotta go.

[PsychoBob 0]

"We're not happy until you're not happy" - FAA Motto


Work? I waste a lot of tax payer money but I wouldn't call it work.

"I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it"
RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?"

[Guest]

This is an old one...I left the Feds ten years ago and never regretted it.
----------------------------------------
THE CIVIL SERVANT'S DOG
-----------------------
Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was
an engineer who said his dog could draw. His dog's name was "T-Square",
and he told him to get some paper and draw a square, a circle and a
triangle, which he did with no sweat.
The accountant said he thought his dog, "Balance", could do better.
He told him to fetch a dozen cookies and divide them into piles of
three, which he did with no problem.
The chemist said that was a very good stunt, but that his dog,
"Apothecary", could do better yet. He told his dog to get a quart of
milk and pour seven ounces into a ten ounce glass. Apothecary did this
without a hitch.
All three men agreed their dogs were equally smart. They turned to
the Civil Servant and asked him what his dog could do. The Civil Servant
called his dog, whose name was "Coffee break", and said, "Show the
fellows what you can do, old buddy." Coffee Break then strolled over and
ate the cookies, drank the milk, shit on the paper, screwed the other
three dogs and claimed he injured his back while doing so. He then filed
a grievance for unsafe conditions, applied for Workers' Compensation,
and left for home on sick leave.

"The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat."

[PsychoBob 0]

BWAAHAAAAA!!!! That's great!

"I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it"
RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?"

[htrammel 0]

Hey. I know that dog. Used to work in our FSDO.

[HUSHPUPPY 0]

That dog is now a MANAGER somewhere!

"You made my panties wet!" Skymama (Fitz 09)
"Never argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience."

[TKATC 0]

I know this is gonna open a huge can of worms...but the root of the ongoing labor dispute between the Agency (FAA) and the Union (NATCA) is our beloved Bush administration. The sooner that debacle is dismantled the sooner MANY government agencies will right the ship and get back on track. I am a NATCA controller and I am living in the daily hell the agency calls a job. Many people believe gov't workers don't work and are lazy with a poor attitude. I used to resent that mindset but I can EASILY see how many gov't workers have evolved into such drains on the system. If your employer tries to stick it to you around every corner you turn, you can get disgruntled pretty easily. I no longer have any disdain towards gov't employees that are just drains on the system for somehow thier employer has made them that way. I try not to be that way myself cause I take a lot of pride in my job as most controllers do. But even the most loyal dog will bite its master if its beaten for too long.

[CSpenceFLY 1]

Take it to the SC.

[quade 4]

Yeah, this is the "perfect" thread to have high up on the forums today. I'm nearly certain no member of the FAA is going to drop by.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver